The Mom Crowd

I wish I could tell you in a five step article what happens when you find out your baby has Down syndrome, but every situation and every person is so different that the best I can do is tell you my experience.

On the day of our sonogram to find out the sex of our very first child, my husband, the two first-time grandmas-to-be and I anxiously waited in the waiting room for my sonogram. We first had the obligatory weigh-in, blood pressure check, and “how have you been feeling” with the nurse. Then the doctor came in. She asked me how I was feeling and I explained to her my eagerness to find out the sex of our baby. She first wanted to share with me the results of my quad screen. I’ll never forget her words, “It looks like your baby has an elevated chance of having Down syndrome.” Everyone in the room was shocked, except for me. I knew how unreliable those screening tests were, besides I was only 21 years old! I kept reassuring my husband that those tests meant nothing. We went back to the waiting room, and I was still my upbeat perky self waiting for the sonogram tech to call us back. I wanted my mini-McKenna…I wanted a girl so badly!!

Finally, the sonogram! The technician was conducting the sonogram and measuring all kinds of things on the baby. I kept thinking to myself, “come on already, look between the legs!” The technician then told us she wanted the doctor to look at some things. The OB walked in, looked at the screen, and said, “I have to be honest. This concerns me” as she gently touched my leg. Not only did my quad screen point to the baby having Down syndrome, but there were many physical findings on the sonogram as well. Through a cloud of tears and emotion, we found out we were having a girl, but no longer was she going to be a mini-McKenna. She was going to be different than me. She wasn’t going to look like me. She wasn’t going to act like me. Along with my picture with the arrow pointing between her legs, I was given sonogram pictures with measurements of the back of her neck, her femur, her nasal bridge…all measurements that said my baby wasn’t going to be normal. We followed up with a series of level II sonograms. Although we never had the amnio which would have confirmed Down syndrome, the doctors were sure my baby had Down syndrome when they later found a heart defect that is almost exclusive to babies with Down syndrome. My husband and I held on to the small chance that she didn’t have Down syndrome, but tried to prepare for that possibility.
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Thanks to everyone who answered our first “A Little Birdie Asked Me” segment. All of you had great answers.

Our first “A Little Birdie Asked Me” question was “What is your favorite thing about being a mom?” Several of you mentioned the smiles and hugs your little ones give you. I know that is my personal favorite thing about being a mom. Lyndsay couldn’t decide and said everything is her favorite. April listed her favorite thing about each of her three kids. Some favorites are momentary and change all the time like in Dawn’s response.

The joys of being a mom are truly immeasurable.

“What’s your favorite thing about being a mom?”

Starting to breastfeed your baby can be the most frustrating and difficult two to three weeks of your life. I personally found it more painful than childbirth. Here are seven things that helped me get through those first few weeks.

1. Have a vision.

When I first started to nurse I had a lot of pain and difficulty breastfeeding my daughter, Ace. I talked about what I was feeling with a friend who was just finishing her first year breastfeeding her baby. She painted a picture for me about how she found joy in nursing, how easy feeding her son had become, and how she loved the connection that she had with her son. At the time I thought she was nuts, but I clung to that picture of the future. I had hope that nursing was going to get easier.

2. Knowledge is power.

Breastfeeding is easier when you know the biology of your body and your baby. Also, knowing how to hold your baby and the different holding positions will help you and your baby learn this new skill faster. Go to a breastfeeding class! This was by far the most informative class that I took in preparation for my new baby. In addition, don’t leave the hospital before you meet with a lactation consultant. I had learned how to hold the baby in class, but having just given birth I was having difficulty remembering what they taught me. I was thankful for the reminders. Finally, read books about breastfeeding, search websites and learn as much as you can!

3. Remember the benefits.

During the first few weeks of nursing I asked my husband to make a giant poster of all the benefits of breastfeeding, so I could read them while I was enduring the pain. I would have him recite all the benefits to me again and again. I would even list them in my head. Remembering the advantages of breastfeeding will help you stay motivated.

A few benefits of breastfeeding are:
- Your immunities and antibodies are passed to the baby making them less likely to become sick
- Saves you money
- Less likely to be a SIDS victim
- A greater bond with your baby

For more information about the benefits of breastfeeding check out the La Leche League and Breastfeeding.com.

4. It is a sacrifice.

Know that breastfeeding is a sacrifice. Yes, you will have to watch what you eat. Yes, you will have to feed almost every hour to three hours during the day. Yes, you might have a uni-boob when wearing certain nursing bras. Yes, you will have to juggle feeding your baby in public places or going home to feed. But in the end, the sacrifice and hassle is all worth it.

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