Comments on: UPDATED: 5 Ways to Deal With Playground Bullies

By: rosebelle

rosebelle — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:44:36 +0000

A very alarmingly interesting post. I’ve never come across a bully..yet..at a playground. The ones that I take my toddler to always have a lot of adults supervising their kids. If I were in the situation of seeing some bullyings going on, I’d tell the bully to stop and explain to him/her why doing so is wrong. If I sense that it’s a diffult child I am talking too, I’d ask him/her where is the parent and I would speak directly to the parent. It’s important to address this kind of behavior to the parent so the parent is aware. If the parent gets defensive, well at least she/he knows that someone observes and speaks about the problem.

By: Christy

Christy — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:28:28 +0000

GREAT POST AMANDA! It irritates me to no end when other kids harass my sweeties at the playground or indoor play area. Generally the problem arises because the other kids parents are “absent” or are talking to someone else and aren’t paying attention. At first, when our oldest was little, I was shy about speaking up… not anymore. I’ve found that generalizing to “all the kids” kind of helps nobody feel picked on by the mean mom, but rather guides them all to make a better decision. It drives me crazy when the kids climb the slide and then someone comes down and everyone gets hurt. Of course, my child is a follower, so he sees one kid do it, he does it too. I will say something like “remember Andrew, go up the steps to go down the slide”. I also try to make it a point to remind my son (who is not a bully, but can be inattentive and knock little ones down accidentally) to be careful of the “babies”. If another child is bullying mine, I ask them to not do whatever they were doing and then tell Andrew loudly that we don’t play with people who hit. He gets it and does his best to avoid the meanie! I’ve yet to have to talk to a parent… I hope it never comes to that because they won’t know what “hit” them!

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:29:59 +0000

My son is often the “bully”. (Or at least, I just saw a parent post that about my son on Facebook.) We are not sure where he gets it from. I come from a background where my dad beat us as kids. Both of my parents come from the same type of background. I do not raise my hand to my child because of this. I spoke to a child educator about this and she told me that it may be because I am overly sensitive about hitting. I try not to discuss it and it seems to still exist. I have noticed that it happens more at daycare where they do not disapline than it does at home or on the play ground where he is supervised by us. I do not mind parents saying something to my child and often wonder if he would stop if someone else said something to him. I do believe that kids learn from other kids (he was bullied in daycare early on). Also, I believe my son is eager to learn and doesn’t have enough to do at daycare. I am taking him to a Montessori school and know they have a policy to discipline (within reason). They also require parenting classes. My husband does not hit and gets angry if my son hits. I often think it is because of the negative attention he gets from him because he always wants to tell my husband what he did. Anyway, any feedback is appreciated….obviously I am guessing at the fixes here and talking out loud. One thing I will say about my son is that he cares deeply about all of his “friends” and the other parents can see that too when he plays one on one with them at my home.

By: Zach

Zach — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:25:27 +0000

For parents of toddlers, your advice was spot on correct. *I do think that some of the people commenting are placing too much importance on being polite – anything short of a clear, firm (stern)correction will be ignored by a little one. For children in kindergarden thru grade 6, there’s a program called The Total Bully Solution. It’s been generating a lot of positive buzz, and getting excellent reviews from parents. As you said: “This world is full of conflict and we need to teach our kids how to handle it well”. The totalbullysolution.com will provide your child with the tools they need to face the bullies of the world with strength and dignity.

By: Cece

Cece — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:12:26 +0000

As parents it is our responsibility to teach our kids to be good kids. The way our children behave says a lot about us. If you see your child being bullied, you should tell the bully he/she should never hit another child and talk to the kid’s parent/s. I would do the same for a kid I don’t know at the playground if I saw they were being bullied. Parents know how their children behave so it should come as no surprise to them. If the parents are in denial there will come a time when the truth will surface and they won’t have a choice but to deal with it. I don’t let my children play with bullies, remove them from the situation , let them know that is never ok for someone to hit,push,yell,cut in line make fun of, but its ok to say no firmly and if the situation keeps on walk away and find someone else to play with. It does upset me that there are parents who are not ashamed or don’t correct their childrens inappropriate behavior at such a young age. I see them in my family, friends, malls, playground. To all parents doing right by their kids and others don’t be afraid to tell the bullies and their parents the truth. Thank you for putting this on the internet. I have had similar problems, every situation is different but I try to deal with it appropriately.