The Mom Crowd

Many of us don’t have time to read the paper or watch the news. (Most of it is fear-mongering anyway, but that is an entirely different story.) So I am sharing some headlines that have been in the news lately that may be of interest of interest to us moms. Starting off with one of my most favorite foods on the planet, cereal. Seriously, do you remember that episode of Seinfeld with Janeane Garofalo where she even orders cereal at a restaurant and eats it for lunch? I am close to loving cereal that much.

• Consumer Reports Rates 27 Different Kids Cereal - Based on the cereal’s fiber, sugar, calories, and nutritional content in a serving the top four cereals are plain Cheerios, Kix, Life, and Honey Nut Cheerios (yay!). The worst cereals are Post’s Golden Crisp and Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, Cap’n Crunch, and Pops. You have to be a member of Consumer Reports to get the full report, but WebMD does a good job summarizes the report.

• New Blood Tests During Early Pregnancy for Down syndrome - Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences came out with a report yesterday from a few doctors who are testing the pregnant mother’s blood, because some of the fetus’ blood ends up in the mother’s blood. They are looking for extra chromosomes usually found in Down syndrome, Edward syndrome, Patau syndrome. They are hoping that their findings will help women be tested as early as 5 weeks and lessen the need for more invasive tests that could lead to miscarriages. For me, I can see the need for this, but it doesn’t effect me. I just recently turned down all those tests in my own pregnancy. I am going to have the baby either way. My fear is that almost 9o% of women diagnosed with a fetus with Down syndrome abort the baby. When they do get the DS confirmation and abort, the baby is pretty far along. So if this test does become common and women find out at 5 weeks that their baby has Down syndrome will the abortion rate rise or fall?

• Letting Your Newborn Sleep With a Fan On May Reduce the Risk of SIDS - According to the report, “Young infants who sleep in bedrooms with fans have a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome than babies who sleep in less well-ventilated rooms, new research shows. Investigators concluded that sleeping with a fan lowers SIDS risk by more than 70%.” The article says that a fan is not a substitute for placing them on their backs. The reports are interesting, because I know SIDS was a fear of mine and I am up for anything I can do reduce the risk. I am not sure I will be militant about this for my next little one, but it is something to consider.

• More Controversy over Cough and Cold Meds for Children - We have already covered previous FDA findings here and here. Now the New York Times is reporting, “manufacturers of pediatric cough and cold medicines announced Tuesday that they would voluntarily change their products’ labels to say that they should not be used in children under the age of 4.” The FDA is considering taking some cough and cold medications off the shelves and making them available by prescription. However, none of this would actually take place for a few years if it did happen. The FDA also fears that adults will then give their children medication meant for adults instead and over medicating them. My daughter is still under 2, so I haven’t used any of them on her. I am more of a Tylenol and home remedy kind of mom.

What is your favorite cereal? Would you start using a fan now for reduce the risk of SIDS? Has the news about cough and cold medications changed your mind about using them? Or do you find that they work?

One of our readers recently sent us this question about sending her son for an overnight stay with his father.

Hi, I wonder if anyone can give me any advice. I separated from my son’s father when I was in early pregnancy. He has had a little contact with him, one visit once a week sometimes once a fortnight. He is now asking for my son to stay with him every other weekend. Naturally at the moment I am planning on telling him that he needs to get more used to his father being around before I can even consider it but I’m probably being really selfish and I don’t want him to go to stay there at all. I don’t think his father will be able to cope and he lives an hour or so away. I’m petrified something bad will happen. Can anyone relieve my fears and give me advice on how to deal with it and how to get my son used to his father being around? I just don’t know what to say.

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Here is my sister-in-law’s, Denise, response to the question. I asked Denise to write up a response, because I know that she has been in that same situation. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of fears I would have sending my little one off and establishing a new kind of relationship.

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When my ex-husband decided he wanted a divorce I was shocked. My first reaction was that he would never see our daughter again. That was obviously not a rational thought. Whatever happened between us she was still ‘our’ child, he had not done anything illegal, and he wanted to be in her life.

Our split happened when she was 2 1/2. She was not ready for an overnight visit at that age. It began with him taking her for 6 hour visits at a time, usually on Saturdays. The next step was a one night visit. Progressively we made it to a Friday-Sunday visit.

Before any of that could happen he and I sat down to discuss ground rules beyond the divorce decree. Things like where and when he would pick her up and drop her off.  I wanted consistency.
The one thing that helped me get through all of this has been remembering that she is not just my child. Even thought he had wronged me, I couldn’t penalize our daughter for. She needed/wanted to see her father on a regular basis. When we sat down I asked him to make the decision to either be in her life or not. I told him he couldn’t do it half way, that would not be fair to her. Another important issue was where he stayed, it needed to be kid friendly and safe.

After all of that was settled and she went with him for the first time I had to deal with my emotions. The first few times I was terrified, I cried, and I let my imagination get away from me. What I did the next time was plan things for myself, things that kept my mind busy.
All of this seems to have worked. I have nothing more than a working relationship with her father but she is a well adjusted teenager now. She knows that things did not work out between us  but she also knows that both of us lover her fully.

Things have not always been perfect between her father and I. There were many time when we had discussions abot her care but they were just discussions. We made sure not to have them in front of her. I worked very hard not to let my personal feelings for him get in the way.
I know that this answer is long winded and may not fit your personal situation perfectly but hopefully you can take something away that will help you!

Have any of you been in this situation? How did you handle it? 

We have been having some drama with our cat, Samuel, recently. It all began when he peed in our friend’s car seat. I even wrote about it here. Since then about once a week we would something else he peed on - a blanket, t-shirt, an empty plastic toy bin on floor. The last straw was when he peed in Annabelle’s toy basket in her toy corner. In an emotional response my husband threw him out the back door. I didn’t see him for at least two days.

On the third day we decided to take him to the vet and get him checked out and make sure that it wasn’t an infection or anything. I saw him on day four and brought him inside. About three hours later I was on the phone with the vet and I heard Annabelle scream like I have never heard her scream before. I immediately got off the phone and found that she was messing with the cats and Samuel scratched her. He scratched her inside her left ear and down her cheek. Samuel lost his second chance.

We took both Samuel and Elizabeth to the vet and they are both fine. We got them updated on their shots. The vet agreed that it was a behavioral problem. Last night I posted them on Craigslist. Hopefully I can find them a home without young children. If not, then our only other option is to find a no-kill shelter that will take them.

We never took the pets and a new baby class. Maybe I would have learned something. What I know is that our cat doesn’t like having a toddler in the house messing with him. With a second baby on the way we can’t take any chances. We have had our cats for 5 years and love them. They used to be my babies, until Annabelle came home. It was a tough decision to find them new homes, but in the end we have to do what is best for our family.

Have you ever had a problem with your pets and your children getting along? Have you had to find a new home for your pet when you brought your baby home?

UPDATE:

In the end Samuel scratched our daughter at least twice. We honestly couldn’t trust him with her and her safety is important to us. I feel that it would be impossible to keep them separate at all times. I don’t feel like Annabelle was doing much to entice the scratching. After two people were interested in looking at the cats, but never showed, we placed them back on Craigslist. A lady who only wanted Samuel came and adopted him. He has the most perfect home now. Her last cat just passed away last month. She lives by herself in a huge house and I know that Samuel is going to be spoiled beyond measure.

I did have hard time letting him go. I was very sad after he left, but I prayed about it. I feel like God told me that he sent the lady and that Samuel is fine now. In the end I realized that Samuel wasn’t acting like his usual laid back and loving self. Now I hope without a baby bugging him, he is more relaxed and happy.

We still have his sister, Elizabeth. My husband caved in and let me keep her. She isn’t pee’ing or scratching Annabelle. I think it is much easier to only care for one cat.

Months ago, Amanda posted a great peek into her daughter’s beautiful nursery.   I was so impressed with how cute and practical it was.  Recently, another friend of mine redecorated a room in her house to create a second nursery for her new son (nursery #1 is now her todder son’s bedroom).  I was practically drooling at the colors, the theme, and the pristine, matching furniture.  This weekend, I read the new People magazine, which featured “Baby Yearbook 2008″, covering celebrity baby lifestyles from fashion to nursery decor.  I marveled at J. Lo’s extravagant nursery for her twins, and then imagined what it must be like to have two other houses with two other nurseries decorated exactly the same way (Max & Emme won’t be confused at any of their three homes.)

My reality is altogether different.  Here are my true confessions:

• We’re renting a house.  This means major decorating is not only restricted, it’s kinda pointless.  Therefore, we make do with what we have.  And what we have is funny.  It’s hilarious watching peoples’ reactions to the wallpaper in my son’s room.  Three walls are a masculine, somewhat dark pattern, which is fine.  One wall, inexplicably, though, is a repeated pattern of pictures of colonial American buildings.   Let me say that again:  it’s a repeated pattern of pictures of colonial American buildings.   It’s a bit like having a giant, permanent history poster in your bedroom.  On the plus side, Eli has a better sense of our country’s past than I ever did at that age.  So, bonus!
• The crib bumper is adorable.  It’s green, blue, and red, which we bought at Wal-Mart.  It doesn’t match the wallpaper, of course, or anything else in the room, for that matter.
• There are no curtains for the window.  I wouldn’t even know how to hang them if I had some.
• I find random baby room decor at Target when it’s marked down, and occasionally, I buy it.  So Eli’s room has a few animal plaques here, some safari animal clings there, and a wooden sign that says “Thank Heaven for Little Boys” over his window (this sign was a gift, actually).  All of this is hung on top of that wallpaper.  (Sometimes, if you stare at the walls long enough, you can make out new images, like those old Magic Eyes books.)

• We’ve moved a few times since my kids were born.  Therefore, Eli’s room is also our storage/junk room.  This is fine for now, since he only uses the room for sleeping.  Other than the crib and wall decor, it’s pretty much my dumping ground for extra books, picture frames, and boxes.  His closet is our extra storage closet.

     

   

• My daughter Lucy’s room is painted blue.  Go figure.  :) 
• I try to stay away from Pottery Barn Kids, Babies R Us, and other baby specialty shops as much as possible, to keep my envy in check.

As much as I wish I could have a nursery that is airy and bright and serene and precious, with gliding rockers and lullabies playing, it’s just not in the cards for me.  And frankly, the kids just don’t even know any better.   

Have you got any confessions you’d like to share?  Anyone out there in a similar boat?

p.s.  I recently painted these letters to add to the decor, and I am pretty proud of them.

I have had really good experiences and one bad experience in the booster seat department, and decided to share these experiences with you!  To be fair, I have only “tested” three different seats, so there may be other great options available.  I invite you to share what you love/hate about your booster seat in the comment section!

Fisher Price Healthy Care Deluxe Booster Seat

• What do I love about this seat?  Almost everything!  The price is great - around $25.00, it’s available in stores so you don’t have to wait for it to be shipped, it is very durable, it’s somewhat easy to clean, the pieces all fit in the bottom rack of my dishwasher, it’s portable, the kids like it, and it’s very well made!
• What do I NOT love about this seat?  Food crumbs get under the seat and so I do have to VERY regularly (after every meal!) clean underneath and around the chair, and that’s about all I can say negatively about this booster!
• Bottom line? I definitely recommend this to parents looking for a booster seat for their child!  It’s affordable, does the job, and is best of all STURDY and well made!

BabySmart Cooshie Booster Seat

• What do I love about this seat? My child can climb into it by herself, it is INCREDIBLY easy to clean my chair without having to unbuckle straps, the booster itself cleans very easily, it’s a super cute color, it’s SIMPLE and does not have unnecessary gadgets, and it’s easily removed when I need the chair for a bigger person.
• What do I NOT love about this seat? The price.  After tax, I spent $40.00 on this seat and that’s just too pricey for my everyday shopping.  We used some birthday cash Darah received and I don’t know if I would have splurged otherwise. That being said, if I would have known how much I was going to love it, I may have splurged.
• Bottom line? It’s a little pricey for what it is, but if you have $40 just laying around, it is definitely worth it! If not, maybe ask Grandma for one for your child’s next birthday or Christmas!  I will say, that as much as I like the Fisher Price booster, this one is DEFINITELY much nicer!  This seat is not recommended for any child under the age of 2 1/2.

Safetly 1st Fold N Go Deluxe Care Booster

•  What do I love about this seat? Umm…it’s a booster seat, and it’s cheap (selling for $20.00).
• What do I NOT love about this seat?  Where do I start?  Like I said above, it’s CHEAP!  The back of our booster broke off within a few weeks, my daughter’s little teeny peanut size body was too big in it for her to be comfortable, the tray is ridiculously difficult to maneuver, and it lasted about a month before I said “forget it!”
• Bottom line? Don’t waste your money, time, or energy on this product!

I’d love to hear your experiences with booster seats!  Please leave a comment!