Comments on: Coping With Miscarriage Part 2

By: amelia

amelia — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:04:56 +0000

Natalie-I’m sorry to hear about you own loss. I’m disappointed that you feel like I’m bragging about it as though I’m happy about it. That is the farthest thing from the truth. You are certainly entitled to feel differently than I do about sharing my story. Everyone deals with grief differently–and what works for one person may not work for another. I have to disagree that sharing my story does not somehow keep me from “moving on”. Dealing with loss and grief is a journey where everyone figures out how to move forward while coping with the loss of someone they care for. Perhaps we approach grief differently. I am comfortable with regocnizing the baby as someone who was part of our family and changed me–I disagree that it means that I haven’t accepted the fact of what happened and can’t “move-on”. Although I am curious of your definition of move on is. And truthfully, even if I couldn’t move on–I guess it is a good thing that we don’t run in the same social circles. I would be uncomfortable feeling looked down upon because I treated the loss of my baby like someone who was an already important part of my family even though he/she wasn’t full term.

To be clear-I shared the graphic part of my story because people DON’T talk about it. I want other women to know that they aren’t weird for WANTING to treat the loss of their baby like a normal person. That they aren’t weird or the ONLY people who want to catch their babies and bury them. Perhaps that is a different route that you would chose for yourself, and that is fine–but there are many women out there who desire to do let things happen more naturally and think the only way to deal with the actual miscarriage is to go and get a d&c and never see their babies again.

I put the details in for a few reasons. First, it was part of the story and I didn’t feel like I could leave out the details and still convey what I was trying to communicate (see above paragraph). And two, many women look for information on the internet about what to expect when they have a miscarriage and I think the information I provided could be helpful for others. Having a miscarriage is graphic by nature.

I’m sorry that my story put an emotional strain on you. I recognize that it was raw and honest. Perhaps reading my story contributes to another part of your own greiving process. Thank you for your honesty and again, I’m sorry for your own loss.

By: Multi-Tasking Mommy

Multi-Tasking Mommy — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:24:43 +0000

I’m glad you feel comfortable enough sharing your story. I’m sure that it helps others who are in a similar situation as you are to read your thoughts and emotions!
I think what you did sounds simply perfect.
My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:11:26 +0000

Thank you for sharing your story. I have been praying for your family ever since I heard about your miscarriage. I am so happy that you were able to be at home and that you got to see your precious baby. I think it is wonderful that you were able to have a service and maybe have a little bit of closure.

By: Janet

Janet — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:59:58 +0000

Such a brave and moving account, Sweetie. I love you so very much, never more than now when you are brave enough to encourage other women that have been where you are now. My heart hurts with you. You are such a wonderful woman, in every way, with a huge loving and tender heart. Hugs and kisses, Mom

By: Natalie

Natalie — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:17:10 +0000

Thank you for writing from your heart. It must have been an emotional roller coaster.

I have never had a miscarriage, but I had a friend who just had one and I am going to send her this. I really think it will offer great encouragement to her.