Comments on: How To Care For a Friend Pursuing In Vitro Fertilization http://www.themomcrowd.com/how-to-care-for-a-friend-pursuing-in-vitro-fertilization Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:00:32 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Danielle http://www.themomcrowd.com/how-to-care-for-a-friend-pursuing-in-vitro-fertilization/comment-page-1#comment-115555 Danielle Sun, 16 Aug 2009 22:09:45 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/?p=2020#comment-115555 I went through infertility issues for 2 years prior to finally having success with a last ditch IUI prior to moving on to the next step...I think you offer great advice. I wasn't one to openly talk about my IF issues with everyone, though select friends knew what was going on. They knew not to ask too often, but instead be there for me when I needed to reach out to them...and really (for me at least) there was no advice or words they could use that would "help" me...none of them had "been there" and couldn't say "I understand" or "I know" or "I'd feel the same way"...they also knew not to say "it will happen" or "be patience" or "things happen for a reason"...they knew the best thing for me was a "boy that really stinks" and give me a hug, or hold my hand, or wipe a tear. I went through infertility issues for 2 years prior to finally having success with a last ditch IUI prior to moving on to the next step…I think you offer great advice. I wasn’t one to openly talk about my IF issues with everyone, though select friends knew what was going on. They knew not to ask too often, but instead be there for me when I needed to reach out to them…and really (for me at least) there was no advice or words they could use that would “help” me…none of them had “been there” and couldn’t say “I understand” or “I know” or “I’d feel the same way”…they also knew not to say “it will happen” or “be patience” or “things happen for a reason”…they knew the best thing for me was a “boy that really stinks” and give me a hug, or hold my hand, or wipe a tear.

]]> By: Dawn http://www.themomcrowd.com/how-to-care-for-a-friend-pursuing-in-vitro-fertilization/comment-page-1#comment-115436 Dawn Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:37:24 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/?p=2020#comment-115436 Jenn, I agree, a lot of this kind of stuff is a learn-by-doing experience. An emotional mine-field is a good way of putting it. Jenn, I agree, a lot of this kind of stuff is a learn-by-doing experience. An emotional mine-field is a good way of putting it.

]]> By: Jenn http://www.themomcrowd.com/how-to-care-for-a-friend-pursuing-in-vitro-fertilization/comment-page-1#comment-115371 Jenn Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:53:42 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/?p=2020#comment-115371 I think what so many of these posts are narrowing in on is the idea that we take the lead from our friends (with touchy issues). I remember reading a great book about how to talk to people during difficult times, and the one that stood out was at a time of a death. The author just kept highlighting to the reader that it can be an emotional mine-field. Don't let that stop you from reaching out, but put on extra-sensitive listening ears and take your cues from the other person. Of course, I have since learned that when I went through my first experience of a friend having a miscarriage, I said ABSOLUTELY everything wrong. I can't take that back, but I can be a better friend going forward. I think what so many of these posts are narrowing in on is the idea that we take the lead from our friends (with touchy issues). I remember reading a great book about how to talk to people during difficult times, and the one that stood out was at a time of a death. The author just kept highlighting to the reader that it can be an emotional mine-field. Don’t let that stop you from reaching out, but put on extra-sensitive listening ears and take your cues from the other person.

Of course, I have since learned that when I went through my first experience of a friend having a miscarriage, I said ABSOLUTELY everything wrong. I can’t take that back, but I can be a better friend going forward.

]]> By: Christy http://www.themomcrowd.com/how-to-care-for-a-friend-pursuing-in-vitro-fertilization/comment-page-1#comment-115291 Christy Sat, 15 Aug 2009 04:15:29 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/?p=2020#comment-115291 "She desires her friends to check in occasionally. To ask first if it’s something she is up to talking about. To give hugs generously and to use words sparingly." This is great advice!!! Especially the hugs!!!! “She desires her friends to check in occasionally. To ask first if it’s something she is up to talking about. To give hugs generously and to use words sparingly.” This is great advice!!! Especially the hugs!!!!

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