Comments on: It’s Okay Not to Love Your Newborn

By: Sara

Sara — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 03:37:16 +0000

@Royal Princess I’m so sorry, that’s a tragic situation. I hope you’ve been able to get away from the father. I’d definitely recommend finding someone to talk to about your situation- a friend, family member or counselor. If you don’t know of someone, or want to talk to someone neutral, maybe your doctor or hospital might be able to recommend a good counselor.

By: Royal Princess

Royal Princess — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:47:48 +0000

I was glad to come across to this discussion. I am 38 weeks about to have a baby girl but I do not feel any bond at all. I have everything arranged at home but the love is not there. Some people tell me it will come instantly, others gradually, etc. I don’t know if it is also because the baby was conceived from spousal rape and her father was verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my other children. At times, when I think about her father, it makes me sick and I cry because I really do not want to feel that way. I want to love her, is not her fault but is just not there and sometimes I’m scare it does not happen at all. Any advice?

By: v

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:38:39 +0000

For posterity’s sake, I wanted to point out some things (in case people find this and read it much later). Nobody has said anything about postpartum depression which can explain some of the issues. Women who give birth have just had a pretty traumatic experience and with the healing, the fatigue, the pain, the drugs, the chaos, the hormones, it’s not unreasonable to think that deep emotional bonds are slow to manifest instantaneously. I like the comments that say “Don’t feel obligated to feel guilty.” because it’s true and being a mom is something you get better at (like any job or new skill you acquire) and nobody should expect you to be perfect.

By: kristie

kristie — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:46:20 +0000

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. I am a first time mom and my daughter is now 3 weeks old. I don’t know if that “love” is there and I am having a hard time letting go of the plans that I had for my life before we found out that we were going to have a baby. It is good to know that i am not a bad mom for not haing a stron bond with her yet. I hope it will come soon. thanks again.

By: The Mom Crowd » Intentional Bonding after Adoption or Childbirth

The Mom Crowd » Intentional Bonding after Adoption or Childbirth — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:04:40 +0000

[...] with your new child, no matter how they joined your family, does not always go smooth. Amanda wrote a post sharing her own difficulty in bonding with her [...]