Already we have taught Lucy what it means “to be excused” from the table. She knows she cannot get up until she’s been excused, and we try to help her ask that when she’s done. Once she’s out of her chair, dinner is over for her. She’s getting better at this.

One of the empathy/enforceable statements the L&L uses for dinner (if a kid doesn’t like what is served) goes something like this, “oh honey, I’m sorry you don’t like your dinner. I hope you got enough to last until breakfast. We’ll have a nice breakfast in the morning.” It feels easy, especially when you are the cook not to say or think…but I worked HARD to make that meal for you, and you are going to eat some of it!

I refuse to be a short order cook. What you get is what you get. My 5 year old will sometimes balk at what is being served for dinner and will start getting snarky. I usually say, “Well, you are welcome to go up to your room and get your jammies on and play upstairs while we eat dinner but I hope that you decide to join us at the table. We’ll miss you if you don’t sit with us.” He has chosen every time to sit with us at the table and has a sweet attitude. When we don’t engage him in a battle of eating or not eating it dissolves the fight. Being removed from the family isn’t very appealing to him because he likes being around people. I have a little trick reserved for him should he choose to go upstairs though and choose not to eat though. It involves a fun family game and ice cream. It would be so sad if he had to miss out on that because he choose not to come eat with us!

The dinner thing is already a deal for us at 21 months. She gets in and out of her chair as she eats. But I don’t know if she gets the concept of time yet. Another thing about dinner – is that I only offer 3 different items (like chicken, sweet potato, fruit) for her and if she doesn’t want any of that, then that it is and she will have to wait to next meal time. that has been freeing for me. i think she’ll eat if she is hungry.