Comments on: The Fears of Letting Your Little One Stay Overnight http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:00:32 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Larissa http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight/comment-page-1#comment-107859 Larissa Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:32:32 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight#comment-107859 I left my emotionally abusive ex husband a year ago when I was five months pregnant. I got an attorney and went to court to establish visitation. Anyone who says the courts are on the mother's side are completely wrong. The judge awarded my unemployed, loser ex-husband one overnight A WEEK and two mid week visits, I have to drive the 45 minutes to pick her up every other day, only to knock on their door and be verbally abused by my ex's mother. My little seven month old girl is with him right now. It breaks my heart. I had to hand her to him just hours ago for the overnigh, and as they walked away my little girl was reaching for me, crying over his shoulder. It never gets easier. If you ever need to talk please email me: larissajill@hotmail.com I left my emotionally abusive ex husband a year ago when I was five months pregnant. I got an attorney and went to court to establish visitation. Anyone who says the courts are on the mother’s side are completely wrong. The judge awarded my unemployed, loser ex-husband one overnight A WEEK and two mid week visits, I have to drive the 45 minutes to pick her up every other day, only to knock on their door and be verbally abused by my ex’s mother. My little seven month old girl is with him right now. It breaks my heart. I had to hand her to him just hours ago for the overnigh, and as they walked away my little girl was reaching for me, crying over his shoulder. It never gets easier. If you ever need to talk please email me: larissajill@hotmail.com

]]> By: The Mom Crowd » Letting Your Kids Attend Sleepovers http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight/comment-page-1#comment-33753 The Mom Crowd » Letting Your Kids Attend Sleepovers Wed, 29 Oct 2008 03:10:45 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight#comment-33753 [...] the incredible Mommy Zabs commented on one of our posts and brought up the subject of letting your kids spend the night at other people houses. I thought it [...] [...] the incredible Mommy Zabs commented on one of our posts and brought up the subject of letting your kids spend the night at other people houses. I thought it [...]

]]> By: Amy http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight/comment-page-1#comment-32173 Amy Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:28:58 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight#comment-32173 Since I went through this tough time in life and I am still going through it I have some advice. The first thing I would do is go through the courts and set up visitation rights if you haven’t already. What is nice about that is usually the courts will not let a child under that age of 3 stay over night, plus it limits the possible arguments that could occur over wanting the child for the weekend. It is very difficult to let your child go, especially for the first weekend; I have to honestly say that I cried my eyes out. My ex-husband just started requesting the 30 days in the summer and that was tough for me. What made it worse is that my daughter would cry for me almost everyday and her father would get upset with her, he even asked me not to call because it made her miss me. :(. I too wanted to be selfish and not let her go and tell him “NO you can’t have her,” but in reality she is both of ours and I should be happy that he is in life. Growing up with out my biological father I had a huge hole in my life and I do not want to be the cause for my daughter having the same hole. Although I do not agree with MANY things he does and what he finds ok for my daughter (movies, music, etc) I know he loves her, she is safe, and that she loves him. I have learned to appreciate her more and be thankful that she has two parents that love her instead of just one. Right now it seems impossible and your emotions and imagination are getting the best of you but over time it will not be so bad. I doubt it will every be perfect because nothing ever is but be happy that his father wants to be in his life because there are many that do not have fathers. Since I went through this tough time in life and I am still going through it I have some advice. The first thing I would do is go through the courts and set up visitation rights if you haven’t already. What is nice about that is usually the courts will not let a child under that age of 3 stay over night, plus it limits the possible arguments that could occur over wanting the child for the weekend. It is very difficult to let your child go, especially for the first weekend; I have to honestly say that I cried my eyes out. My ex-husband just started requesting the 30 days in the summer and that was tough for me. What made it worse is that my daughter would cry for me almost everyday and her father would get upset with her, he even asked me not to call because it made her miss me. :( . I too wanted to be selfish and not let her go and tell him “NO you can’t have her,” but in reality she is both of ours and I should be happy that he is in life. Growing up with out my biological father I had a huge hole in my life and I do not want to be the cause for my daughter having the same hole. Although I do not agree with MANY things he does and what he finds ok for my daughter (movies, music, etc) I know he loves her, she is safe, and that she loves him. I have learned to appreciate her more and be thankful that she has two parents that love her instead of just one. Right now it seems impossible and your emotions and imagination are getting the best of you but over time it will not be so bad. I doubt it will every be perfect because nothing ever is but be happy that his father wants to be in his life because there are many that do not have fathers.

]]> By: Elli http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight/comment-page-1#comment-32164 Elli Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:41:17 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight#comment-32164 Well we have made a start to getting there but I have told him that it won't be for at least a year as my son is too young and not ready for it. We are starting by slowly increasing the length of time his father is here then doing the early mornings, then the evenings - which will be the most difficult. His father has also mentioned that he is looking for a new place closer to us which will be better. It still won't ease my nerves when he does eventually go but I suppose at least I will be nearer. I may do what Denise suggested as well which is plan things for me to do on the nights/days when he won't be here so I can keep myself busy. It's selfish to say but I am so glad it is going to take a while before my son is ready for staying over at his father's. Thanks for all the advice. Well we have made a start to getting there but I have told him that it won’t be for at least a year as my son is too young and not ready for it. We are starting by slowly increasing the length of time his father is here then doing the early mornings, then the evenings – which will be the most difficult. His father has also mentioned that he is looking for a new place closer to us which will be better. It still won’t ease my nerves when he does eventually go but I suppose at least I will be nearer. I may do what Denise suggested as well which is plan things for me to do on the nights/days when he won’t be here so I can keep myself busy. It’s selfish to say but I am so glad it is going to take a while before my son is ready for staying over at his father’s. Thanks for all the advice.

]]> By: Ashley @ Front Porch http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight/comment-page-1#comment-32056 Ashley @ Front Porch Tue, 07 Oct 2008 03:54:44 +0000 http://www.themomcrowd.com/the-fears-of-letting-your-little-one-stay-overnight#comment-32056 One thing that might ease the fears is spending some time at the dad's house, the three of you. Might not be the most pleasant thing, but if you can see your child interacting in that place, see their bed, get a feel for it, it might make you feel better about the whole situation. I don't know, maybe you have already done that... My ex and I broke up when my daughter was almost 2. We worked opposite shifts so he still picked her up from daycare, he just took her to his new place. I would swing by and pick her up on my home from work. She was already asleep, so her moving to spending the whole night wasn't a big deal for us. One thing that might ease the fears is spending some time at the dad’s house, the three of you. Might not be the most pleasant thing, but if you can see your child interacting in that place, see their bed, get a feel for it, it might make you feel better about the whole situation. I don’t know, maybe you have already done that…

My ex and I broke up when my daughter was almost 2. We worked opposite shifts so he still picked her up from daycare, he just took her to his new place. I would swing by and pick her up on my home from work. She was already asleep, so her moving to spending the whole night wasn’t a big deal for us.

]]>