The Mom Crowd

You have been noticing of late that your style is well … not so upbeat (admit it, totally drab) and this has you wanting to make some changes in the way you look. There is something missing in your style that no longer grabs your attention or anyone else’s anymore. You feel bored when you look at yourself in the mirror. This is not a good sign for anyone. What should you do about this  wardrobe problem of yours?

It is really not a problem and you should not view it as such. In fact it can be an adventure you embark upon to revamp and reinvent your sense of style. It can be fun and challenging and it can provide insight into who you really are. Looking good my friend is much easier than you might think!

Change Your Thinking

Take a close look at your wardrobe. You might want to invite a friend along to give you an objective opinion. If your wardrobe is devoid of any lively colors and all you see is neutrals such as brown, gray and black hanging in your closest then that is a good place to start. The same can be said for your style of clothing. If all you have is jeans and tee shirts or if you own six brown sweaters then you need to add some pep to your wardrobe.

Do some shopping but visit stores that you usually do not go into. Take the friend whom you feel has the best fashion sense with you. Try on different colors and styles. Just have fun with it. By trying on a spectrum of different colors and by mixing and matching separates your clothing ideas will start to take you in a new and exciting direction. It will open your eyes to what you have not been seeing!

You cannot picture yourself wearing a lavender dress? Try it on anyway. What about a turquoise blouse? A little bright for you maybe? Or perhaps it brings more color to your face and shows off your amazing facial features?  Open your mind to the possibilities. This is not the time to be a wardrobe wallflower. You need to get creative and you need to push past your wardrobe boundaries. Have your friends be a part of the process because you want their opinions. You must have at least one friend who will give it to you straight, right?

You may want to ease into wearing brighter colors at a gradual pace. We don’t want to stress you out too much. The same can be said if you have been wearing solid colors for longer than you can remember. Give patterns and prints a try but start small and do not choose anything that is overpowering or busy looking. You want to look good but you want to be the focal point of interest for others and not your blouse, dress, skirt, jacket, etc.

Bringing back the life and vibrancy into the outfits you wear is just a matter of the willingness to experiment with new styles and new colors. You do not have to settle for being a wardrobe wallflower. You can decide that  you need to enliven your look and from there you can recruit your fashion savvy pals to help you to send dull, depressing clothing away and to replace them with bright stylish choices that make you look as fantastic as you are!

Empty nest syndrome is upon you. Are you ready to let your children fly on your own? Are you prepared for what this will mean for your life as well?

As a mother you have always been used to being there to do everything from clean up scraped knees to wipe up tears to tuck your children into bed at night with a kiss and a wish for a good night’s sleep. But now the time has come to let them go. It can be a trying time for both of you. Your grown children are embarking upon their adult futures and you must step aside and let them live their adult lives. That can be difficult for any mother who is used to being hands on with everything.

Just like baby birds, all children must grow up and leave home in order to develop into happy and healthy adults. Just as the adult children are starting down a new path so can the parents who are experiencing a phenomenon that is known as empty nest syndrome. What is this syndrome exactly and how do you cope with it?

What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

Empty nest syndrome is the name that has been given to the combination of mixed emotions that many parents feel when their last or only child leaves home to start a new chapter in their life. With a nest that is now empty many parents find the transition difficult to cope with.

Older women and women over 40 in the past used to experience empty nest syndrome more readily than men because traditionally they were the primary caregivers for their children. In today’s society many men also play a paramount role in raising their children and therefore are struck by a maelstrom of emotions as well when they become empty nesters. However for single mothers empty nest syndrome can be even more difficult because there is no other parent –and spouse- in the picture.

Coping with Change

While change and separation may not be easy for you it is necessary for your son or daughter to leave your home and start an adult life of their own. While you will still be an important part of your adult child’s life you now must forge a relationship that is more adult in nature. You need to view this syndrome in as positive a light as possible. Talk with your adult child about the changes this will bring to your relationship and prepare yourself for the new adventures that lie ahead for you both.

Now is the time for you to put more energy and effort into your marriage and to bring the focus back more on just the two of you.  Once you become empty nesters you and your spouse can enjoy privacy in your home, reignite the romance in your relationship and may decide to put some long anticipated travel plans into play.

What to Do About Your Empty Nest

It is smart to plan in advance of the day that you will see your child off to his or her new start down the adulthood path. Talk to your daughter or son about the future. Assure him/her that this is what is supposed to take place. Be encouraging and supportive.

In the same way, before empty nest syndrome sets in talk to your spouse about the changes that are about to occur. Think about how you want to face the future together and what you would like to do. You may be surprised to discover that you and your spouse are on the same wavelength regarding your future dreams and plans.

Do not make any big changes in your life or lifestyle right away when you are entering the stage of life when you will become empty nesters. It takes the average person anywhere from a year and a half to two years to adjust to their child being gone. Give yourself time to get used to the changes before you decide to do something major. After that, do what you wish to move forward!

Your kids observe the use of money from an early age and want to be able to use it themselves. Teaching them about the importance of money and the exchange of money for goods is a lesson that starts long before they enter school. Children learn quickly about what money is and what it is used for. Before long they want money of their own so they can purchase things that they want to have such as candy and toys. Children also observe the gift giving process at special occasions such as Christmas time and birthdays and want to be able to have some money to take part in this as well.

Off to the Right Start

As a mother you should not be frightened or bothered when you child wants to earn money of his own but you should feel a sense of pride. Everyone must start somewhere when it comes to the use of money and one place that is good for youngsters to start is selling glasses of juice or lemonade for a few cents from a homemade stand that you set up for you child in the front yard. You can oversee the whole process and it can serve as a valuable lesson for your son or daughter.

Another small way to teach your young child about money is if you child wants to sell something that he owns to another child in order to have money to buy something else that he wants even more. You have to make sure that the trade is fair for both children but it serves as a means of teaching your child about how money works.

Whenever you child expresses to you that he or she wants to buy something, whether it be a toy truck, a Barbie doll, a coloring book or an electronic gadget this offers an opportunity to teach you son or daughter about the value of money and about the responsible use of money.

Financial Lessons for Children

You need to teach your little one that money must be earned. Your child learns this by example when he observes you going to work every day or observes you working at home if you run a small business from your residence. You need him to realize that hard work is needed to earn money, as is commitment, energy and lots of effort. Make sure that the money lessons you impart are age appropriate. You do not want to confuse or overwhelm your child when he or she is too young to understand the concepts involving money.

When you give your child an allowance for doing chores around the house this demonstrates how money works and it provides a solid foundation for the equation hard work equals money earned. You need for him to realize that earning money becomes more complicated as you get older and earning a living for a family is different than just having some spending money for the weekend. Once again though, make sure that the financial lessons are suitable for your child’s age.

Talk About Money with Kids

Talk to your child about money and make yourself available to answer any questions he may have. If there are opportunities to get him involved in your money making endeavors then do so. For instance if you are involved in a church or group that has bake sales then let your child join in with helping you bake cookies, cupcakes or muffins. If you help out at book sales or other sales to raise money for good causes then bring your son or daughter along to see how this takes place. You may not be earning the money yourself but when you do this you show him that charitable giving and earning money to help others makes a difference as well.

As a mother there are a few topics that can be difficult and uncomfortable to talk about with your teenage son or daughter. However as difficult as they may be, some discussions are necessary and must take place. One of these is a frank discussion about alcohol and drinking amongst your teen’s peer group.

This is a subject that you should not put off having until your teen is in the latter part of his/her teens- instead have the talk as early as possible!

Don’t wait until your teen starts to drink without your knowledge and worse, become an alcoholic who will need to enter alcohol rehab programs for treatment. Talk to them now.

Talking Openly and Honestly

Parents are often in the dark about drinking among teenagers. They also vastly underestimate the extent to which teenagers drink, as well as how early they begin to experiment with alcohol. Teen drinking however is not something that you have to automatically accept will take place. You can talk with your teenager and discuss the risks as well as the health consequences that go along with the consumption of alcohol. It is also important to encourage and support your teen son or daughter in making decisions that are right for him or her.

Having a frank discussion (or a number of discussions if need be) with your teen is not always easy. In fact it can be nerve wracking not just for you but also for your teenager! You may be uncertain as to how to approach the topic and not know exactly what you should say about it. Your teenager on the other hand may try to dodge your attempts at conversing on the subject and may become distant or evasive when you begin to talk. Don’t be surprised if your teen rolls his or her eye a couple of times or does not seem very interested in the conversation that is taking place. As a mother you are used to this by now, are you not?

Planning the Time and Place

Choose a time to talk when the two of you are both feeling calm and relaxed. Do not choose a time when either of you are distracted or stressed by other things. You need to have a clear head when you broach the subject of alcohol with your son or daughter.

This also goes for the place where you will have the discussion. Choose somewhere that is quiet, calm and free of distractions and/or interruptions. Do not overwhelm yourself by feeling that you must touch on every aspect related to the subject of teen drinking. In fact it is better if you break the conversation down into parts and have more than one talk about this important issue. Having shorter discussions can help both of you to feel even more relaxed and focused on the subject at hand.

Getting the Discussion Underway

It would be wise if you began the conversation by finding out how much your teen knows about alcohol in general. Then you can ask him to share his views about alcohol. Listen carefully to what your teen has to say regarding his thoughts, opinions and ideas about this subject. Listen carefully.

Once you have listened then you get to have the floor. Provide the necessary facts to your teenager. Tell him that alcohol is a drug that has a very powerful and disruptive effect on both the body and the mind. Tell him that alcohol is very addictive and anyone can fall victim to it- including individuals in his age group.

Keep in mind as you talk that many teenagers believe that alcohol can help them to fit in with the popular crowd at school and can also help them to feel happier and more fulfilled in their lives. Teenagers harbor many fallacies about alcohol and often see its allure but not its downside. As a parent you need to debunk these misconceptions in the gentlest manner possible. Let your teen know that alcohol is a depressant that can cause them to feel depressed, sad and /or angry. Let them know that even though alcohol is legal it acts on the nervous system in negative ways.

Keep the Discussion on a Positive Note

Keep your teenager’s self-respect in mind as you communicate why drinking is not a good idea. Be as positive as possible. Do not attempt to threaten your teen and do not use scare tactics to warn him off of drinking. These tactics rarely if ever work and they are simply not a good argument for the case that you are trying to build. What you should do instead is explain the risks to your teen in a no-nonsense manner that he can understand and relate to. If he has any questions then be prepared to answer them in a simple and concise manner.