Deciding to Wean Your Baby
My goal is to breastfeed my daughter until she is one year old. Once she turns one she can switch to cow’s milk. Ace turns 1 in less than three weeks. Lately I have been thinking about my goal to nurse for a year and the decision to wean. I have already begun the weaning process. She only nurses about twice a day and can use a sippy cup if she needs to. I have never really pumped. I never expected the decision to wean to be so emotional.
All my personal reasons to stop nursing aren’t a factor anymore. I wear underwire bras again. I occasionally drink a glass of wine after Ace is down for the night. It doesn’t take Ace long to nurse. It only happens two or three times a day. I am not nervous about nursing in public anymore. The only personal reason that I have left is so I can take antihistamines and certain antibiotics if I get sick.
The convenience of nursing is awesome. I hate doing dishes. I don’t have to go downstairs first thing in the morning to make a cup of milk. My husband usually gets up with me, changes Ace’s diaper and then brings her to me in bed. Right now the convenience outweighs the alternative for me.
My daughter is small for her age as she is normally in the 20th percentile for height and weight. I like that she is still small, so it doesn’t seem weird to me to nurse her. Although when she sits up and nurses it’s a little bit weird. Sometimes I feel like a soda fountain at a buffet.
Nursing has definitely given me a bond with my daughter that I didn’t expect. I had heard about nursing creating a bond between you and your baby, but I didn’t understand what my friends meant. Now I feel like I know. When she nurses we have a connection that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t nursed.
Ace is increasingly getting more adventurous and doesn’t want to be held as much. My little baby is turning into a toddler. I am not ready to fully wean her, because I am not ready for her to grow up. I didn’t think the first year would go by so quickly. Especially not in her second month when I wasn’t getting any sleep and nursing around the clock. But now she is almost one year old and I need to make a decision.
I know Ace may wean herself any day. My friend Kristin’s son just stopped nursing two weeks before his one-year birthday. There have been two nights where Ace didn’t want to nurse, because she was too full from dinner. It actually made me a little sad.
Right now I am going to continue to nurse past the first year until I have a peace about stopping or Ace isn’t interested anymore. I am happy with this unexpected decision.
I would love to hear your stories! When did you stop nursing? Did your baby wean themselves or did you wean them? How did you make your decision?
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I went back to work PT about 6 months after my son was born. I still nursed him, except for one feeding a day when he got a bottle. During that time, either my milk supplying started going down or my son just lost interest in nursing. He’s always been fiercely independent (right now he’s making himself a PBJ BY HIMSELF), so it doesn’t surprise me that he practically weaned himself by 9 months. I would have been happy to continue nursing him, but he was completely mobile (ie, he was walking) and rather uninterested in laying on mama’s lap; it was much more fun exploring the house and playing with the wires behind the TV.
My daughter is still nursing at 7 months and I hope to continue until she’s a year old, but I’m flexible. I love this time of nursing but I also enjoy being able to hand off the baby to daddy (or someone else) ocassionally for a bottle-feed.
I nursed Lucy until she was 13 months old. The feedings had been slowing down for awhile but one day she didn’t have any milk, and that was it! It was like she never missed it. I was ready to stop by then (of course, I was also preggers with Eli!)
Eli is already slowing down, and he’s not 10 months yet. We might not make it to 12 months. We’ll see! My hubby & I have a similar morning routine as you do, Amanda, and I will miss those quiet times with Eli in our bed.
I haven’t weaned my daughter yet, but plan to encourage it when she turns one this August. I’ve been back at work since she was 12 weeks old and pump 3 times a day to keep her filled up with her momma’s milk. I LOVE breastfeeding for the time it gives me with my daughter and for the ease it presents in feeding her – no matter where we are. I’ve even fed my daughter while in line at Disney! She too is still tiny so it is easy to do that.
I will be following your weaning story closely since you are a few months ahead of us.
I have different experiences with all the babies and nursing but I still love it! Isaac weaned when he was 14 months old. I had been cutting down nursing sessions during the day so it seemed sort of natural when he didn’t want to anymore. My biggest reason for weaning is that I can’t lose the last 8ish pounds from the pregnancy until I stop nursing and I really wanted to wear my clothes! It seems a little selfish but I was ready to have my body back.
I am still nursing Graham at 7 months and I am hoping to try some extended nursing this time around. (Extended nursing being well past the first year). The WHO recommends nursing children until they are 2 and it is still beneficial for babies so I am game to try it. I realize that I may hit that wall again and want my body back before he is 2 but I feel like I see nursing a little differently now than when I first had kids. I think I saw nursing as more part of of a meal rather than it being part of a special relationship. I also think I am much more comfortable with older children nursing after having a few of my own.
I know that a lot of people feel like when kids can walk and talk they shouldn’t nurse anymore–and I remember saying that myself at one point–BEFORE I had kids. Now that I have had kids it is so different because when it is your own child they still seem like babies in your eyes and so little and precious. When nursing is part of your relationship with your child the age part doesn’t really matter. I think that Americans are much more conservative about the length of time for nursing. In many other countries it is normal to nurse until 2+ years old.
We’ll see what happens this time around. I am trying to lose the last 8 pounds anyway. If I can lose the last poundage AND keep nursing Graham for a while I will be very happy. I also know that Graham MIGHT be my last baby and I want to cherish the parts that mean the most to me because I may not be able to nurse a baby ever again!
Why wean so early? Even the American Academy of Pediatrics advise nursing through the 2nd year of life. Many countries where breastfeeding is not seen as something that interferes with life, babies are nursed until 3 or 4 years of age. If the baby isn’t ready and if you are feeling emotional about it, it is not the time to stop. Weaning should occur naturally when both mom and baby is ready.
Before I had children, I had many of the same thoughts as other mainstream parents. I had set my goal to nurse for 6 months. I did. When 6 months came, I thought, “She’s too much a baby… maybe I’ll go to a year.” So I set a new goal. Each goal *I* set was exceeded because something inside me told me the time wasn’t right. For either of us.
I have nursed 3 children so far. My first was nursed until 4yo. My second until 3yo. And I am currently nursing my 8 month old son now. I wouldn’t trade nursing any of my babies for the world.
Sharon – I knew that your little one weaned himself, but I didn’t know he walking at nine months! Wow.
Dawn – Don’t you just love awesome husbands! I am thankful that Daniel still helps me in this way. It also gives me a chance to pee, before I nurse. Ha!
Jennifer – I love the convenience of nursing too. Nursing while in line at Disney is awesome! Good for you!
Amelia – It’s amazing how your opinions change after you have kids. I got into a conversation with two other women who making some bad remarks about a mom nursing her two year old. I felt like I had to stick up for the nursing mom who wasn’t there to defend herself.
Christine – Thanks for sharing your story and your advice. I can totally relate to setting new goals each time one is met!
I didn’t have very good nursing experiences, but I can totally relate to your feelings of sadness with Connor’s first real haircut. I have become so attached to his baby curls and even though we got the “how cute is SHE” comments more frequently, I wasn’t ready to turn him into a big boy by cutting off his curls. His “trim” turned into a mullet, which turned into the big boy haircut I wasn’t ready for last Friday and I am grieving!! I know this isn’t the same as weaning, but I feel like the sadness I am experiencing is at least in the same genre of being sad about your little one growing up.
I was so sad when I stopped nursing (at one year) with both my girls. I felt like it was time but so hard to let go. I will say that after I stopped, within a few days, I felt more free and independent.
Definitely do whatever feels right for you and your baby.
I have a 21 month old and she still nurses. I’m weak, I know; I just hope I wont be the mom on Oprah who is defending her decision to still nurse her 12 yr old. Please, someone help me!
@Monkeytoemomma — Don’t be ashamed of nursing this long! You’re among peers, believe me. Although some of us haven’t nursed our children that long, many of us have and it seems like it’s been a great experience. Now, if you WANT to stop nursing and are having some… resistance issues from your little one, that’s a whole other story. Any suggestions, mommies?
A friend of mine was in Africa for a few months, and she nursed her son the entire time she was there, until he was about a year old. She was still nursing him at 15 months the last time I saw her, and I couldn’t believe some of the comments she would get — “You’re STILL nursing him?” like someone would say, “You feed your kid chocolate bars EVERY MORNING for breakfast?!” Why do AMERICANS have such trouble with this? Is it the “inconvenience”? The “embarrassment” of having a child pull on your shirt in public so s/he can nurse?
Sharon–I don’t know why Americans have so much trouble with it! It drives me crazy that people get so offended by nursing moms and don’t blink an eye when women go around showing cleavage galore. Somehow nursing gets lumped into sexuality and people are confused about it. I think it is a symptom of our over-sexualized american culture. Somehow along the way the practicality of nursing and breasts got thrown aside.
I think that there are a lot more extended nursing moms out there than we realize–it’s just not publicized. I think a lot of moms would be surprised if they asked around–thankfully there is lots of support for mommies who nurse past a year at places like La Leche League and the mothering.com forums!
Monkeytoemamma–I certainly don’t think you should be ashamed for nursing as long as you have! Your baby is getting lots of good benefits to nursing and you are doing a good thing. Sharon brings up a good point though–if you WANT to stop then there are lots of good resources out there to wean your baby gently–but if you feel like you must stop because of what others think then I wouldn’t worry about it one bit! You keep doing what you feel like is right for you and your baby!
Thanks ladies! It’s been weighing heavily on my chest (no pun intended). Some days I can’t stand it and say, “that’s it! I have to wean her!” And the next day I look down at her and think, “but she’s just a baby.” I’m glad to see I’m not alone, though.
Monkeytoemamma- I’m still nursing my daughter at 24 months. I didn’t expect to be still nursing, I just thought I would nurse her until she’s ready to wean naturally… This is keeping in mind that my siblings and I stopped nursing naturally at 9-10 months. When Little Bean didn’t stop or show signs of stopping at 18 months, I asked my mother in-law. All her children nursed for 2-4 yrs. Boy was I in shock when she told me this, I don’t know too many women from her generation who nursed that long. However, she is from another country and it was common there. (Thats another point, there is not too many women from our Mothers’ generation, that nursed or support nursing for longer than 6 months due to what research said back then. So, its tough going all around)
Anyway, my Dr. encouraged me to reduce her nursing to 2x per day then later only at night. So, she now only nurses at bedtime. It wasn’t too hard to reduce, and now I feel a lot more free and less guilty about nursing. If that makes sense.
Remember, you are not alone!