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Drug Addiction: Why Moms of Teens in Rehab Need Support Too

by Tara on July 8, 2016
category: Uncategorized

 It is the sort of thing every mom thinks can never happen to her. But according to Dr. Kima Joy Taylor, director of the CATG Initiative via drugfree.org:

Drug use is on the rise in this country and 23.5 million Americans are addicted to alcohol and drugs. That’s approximately one in every 10 Americans over the age of 12 – roughly equal to the entire population of Texas.

That represents 23.5 million American moms that at some point in their lives, had to deal with the reality of having a kid who was addicted to a mind and life altering chemical.

To be sure, no one sets out to be addicted to drugs and alcohol. No one ever believes it can happen to them. And no proud mother ever looked at her precious little angel and predicted that beautiful baby would grow up to be an addict.

That kind of disappointment is hard to put into words. There are all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in that reality. Here is a brief look at some of those emotions, and what other moms can do to be a pillar of support when it is needed the most:

Provide Her with Helpful Resources

A typical mother already wears far too many hats for one person. She is already under a lot of pressure in the best of circumstances. A young adult child living at home does not just add to the pressure but multiplies it.

Rather than encouraging her to bear all that responsibility with dignity, provide her with resources like substance abuse rehab for young adults. Help her find facilities in her area that can take the load of rehab and counseling off her shoulders, and even provide her with additional support for herself. A mom in crisis does not need more courage to face the coming storm. She needs professional assistance.

Don’t Let Her Drown in Guilt

Some churches provide excellent support in situations like these. Others drown a person in a sense of moral failure. What guilt systems don’t take into account is that sometimes you can do everything right, and things still end up going horribly wrong.

You can talk with your teenager about alcohol consumption, move to the best possible neighborhoods, be involved in the child’s life without being overbearing, and be a perfect role model. Even so, your teenager is a human individual, not an automaton.

Guilt can create a paralyzing feedback loop that can lead to depression and worse. The conviction that one can do nothing right often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Friends don’t let friends drift into that dark place if they can do something about it.

Life Goes on

After realizing there is a problem with one of her children, one of the worst things that happens to a mom is that she develops tunnel vision. She can only focus on that problem. Everything else fades away into the periphery. This can be disastrous to family health, as she might have a spouse and other children that suffer from her emotional absence.

Other moms need to help her process her guilt and find useful resources so that she can reengage with the world around her. The last thing she needs to deal with is a marriage on the rocks, and the downward spiral of her other children.

For life to go on, grief must be temporary and well managed. It also must give way to hope and optimism. Addiction does not have to be the end of the world. Recovery is possible. A mom might need to be reminded of this by her friends. She can’t afford the luxury of checking out. Life is too precious. And like the show, it must go on.

When one member of the family experiments with drugs and alcohol, the whole family does. And when that one family member becomes addicted, the whole family does. Everything changes for everyone. And everyone needs the support of one another and the community.

The mistake is thinking that one person’s addiction does not affect you. It does. This is especially true for moms. Her addicted child needs the support of rehab professionals. She needs the support of friends who will not let her drown in guilt, and who remind her that life goes on.

Helping Your Kids Adjust to a Big Move

by Tara on June 9, 2016
category: Uncategorized

When you’re moving, there’s so much to think about that it can be easy to overlook some very important things – such as how your kids are feeling. Naturally, you would hope that your kids are excited about relocating. Contrary to popular belief, many school-aged children can begin to feel a bit insecure and uneasy about the move.

The Uncertainty of Moving

Children enjoy familiarity in their lives. Their home, school, friends, and family are essentially the foundation of what they’re used to. No matter how great the new place may be, they can still feel a bit insecure about moving away from what they’re accustomed to. As a parent, it will be important for you to try and help ease their anxieties. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

1. Provide Protection

You’ll want your children to feel safe and secure about the new place. There are plenty of things you can do to make sure that they will be safe. For starters, investing in homeowners or renters insurance will replace their personal belongings in the event that it gets damaged or stolen in the new property. Other ways to provide protection would be to consider investing in a security system. This way if there are any fears of intruders, they can be put to rest.

2. Prioritize

Yes, there’s a lot to do when you’re moving, but it is important that you keep your children and their feelings at the top of your list of priorities. While it may seem feasible to unpack and get things in order, if your kids are feeling down, it may be best to focus your attention on them so that they know you care.

3. Get Into a Routine

While you can’t take your old home with you, you can start familiar routines that will make your children feel more at home. Whatever routines you used to do in your old home like eating breakfast together, having family time, or even a bedtime ritual, you should try to get back to those things as soon as possible. Even in the midst of mayhem.

4. Let Them Help

When you arrive at your new place, allow your children to be a part of the process to turn the house into a home. Let them unpack their belongings for their rooms for instance, or assist you with putting things away around the house. When they have something to do, they feel included and less stressed about being in a new place.

5. Give Them Time

Your children will begin to notice changes about the new place or neighborhood, and this could ultimately make them a bit sad all over again. It is important to give them time to adjust to the newness of it all. You can encourage them by pointing out some of the positives you’ve noticed in the area. For instance, maybe there’s a community pool that you didn’t have where you used to live. This can help them to see the advantages to moving.

6. Take Care of You

This is probably something moms don’t often do, but it is necessary – take care of yourself. Moving is a lot of work, and as you tend to the responsibilities of moving and the psychological affects it has on your children, you could easily burn out. Therefore, make sure that you’re getting a well-balanced diet and enough rest so that you have the energy to get it all done.

Moving might seem like an easy feat for you, but for your children, it can be one of the biggest losses they’ve had to face yet. Though your children should adapt to the change in a short period of time, it is important that you provide support and allow them the time they need to adjust. Be there for them in a way that matters most. While they may not live in the same home, they still have you as their rock to see them through.

Special Offers from Thomas & Friends

by Tara on July 10, 2015
category: Uncategorized


Do you have a Thomas & Friends fan at home? If so, Click Here to sign up for the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway newsletter to be notified of special sales, offers and coupons.

It’s Free to join. Go here to Thomas & Friends (Or click on the picture above) to get started.

Save Money This Holiday

by EJ on November 18, 2013
category: Finances

Tis the season to start looking for places to save some money. With all of the holidays coming up, traveling expenses, families getting together and gifts to give out, it all starts adding up fast, sometimes too fast. This year get the jump on all the holidays. Whether you’re looking for the best deals on turkeys and cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving, awesome gifts to meet everyone’s Christmas lists or maybe it’s just time to update the cabinets in your kitchen and shutters on your windows. Right now is a great time to start searching for those discount coupon codes online, in the local newspapers for coupons to clip and if your one of those Black Friday shoppers check out the Black Friday Ads to find the best prices and deals.

Here are some of the many places and ways to look for coupons and deals. My absolute favorite way to hunt down coupons is online. This way I can snuggle up in my pajamas, drink my coffee and compare coupon offers to find even more ways to save. For example finding a code for 20% off a single item and then adding a Free Shipping code on top of it, all from my couch! There are a ton of great coupon websites out there. I also like to grab the paper on Sundays and thumb through the pamphlets in there. They normally have fantastic ads for sales at ToyRUs, Wal-mart, K-mart etc. Not to mention the Redplum and SavingSource inserts which help you save money on your groceries and household items.

For all of you Costco and Sam’s Club members, don’t forget to go to their Customer Service Counter each month and pick up a Coupon Booklet to find out what sales they are running, and pick up those yummy free food samples while you do your shopping!   If you are a military family, you can pick up a free coupon booklet as you are walking into the commissary and there is even a nifty box that you can look through already clipped coupons that people either didn’t use or didn’t need that you can dig through to help you save even more. Not to mention all the coupons they have hanging off the shelves.

Nowadays with all this fancy technology we have, you can find coupons on Facebook coupon swapping sites, Ebay.com and even find a local coupon swapping group on craigslist for you to join or make your own group. If you’re new to the world of couponing I suggest finding a Free Coupon Class to take to help you learn about coupon stacking, doubling, how to use expired coupons and even how to store and organize your coupons. This is the perfect time to start learning how to coupon so that you and your family can save on holiday gifts, groceries or household items and take out some of the unnecessary stress of the holiday season. Have a happy, safe and a little less expensive holiday season this year.

DIY Bowling Game

by Michelle on November 11, 2013
category: 1 – 3 year (toddler),Fun time & Toys

As fall begins, many families are facing colder weather. This means we all need new ways to entertain the children inside on these cold or wet days.  Art activities are fantastic, but sometimes it is fun to be able to get some gross motor movement in! An easy indoor activity is bowling! Using items you have on hand, you should be able to have a set quickly. A hallway works the best for the bowling lane so that there is confined area to roll the ball in. Make sure you get any items off the floor that would get in the way of the game!

Where to Begin:

The first step will be to find bottles to use as your pins. I often have empty water bottles in the recycling, so that is an easy way to start! Using water bottles also saves the step of having to clean out the sticky soda or juice  DIY Bowling Game from the bottle. A traditional bowling game has 11 pins, but that can be too many for a small child. Starting with 6 is a good way to introduce children to bowling. A ball also needs to be found to knock the pins down with. It needs to have a little weight behind it to knock the pins down.

 The pins can be decorated or left as they are. A fun way to decorate them is to squirt a small amount of paint into the bottles, add a tablespoon or so of water and shake it together to coat the inside of the bottle. When it is coated, the excess paint can be poured out and the bottles need to dry overnight. An even more simple idea is to just wrap the outsides in a piece of scrapbook paper. This can also be an activity where each child gets to decorate pins themselves! Each pin doesn’t need to match, so it can be fun!

We have found we like the pins to have some weight to them. This can be achieved by adding some rice or beans to the bottle. The amount will really depend on the skill set of children you are playing with. The great thing about the bottles is that you can empty out or add more filler as you play. They can be left empty as well. Water can also be used to add a little weight to the bottom.  Also, the weight of the pins may have to change depending on the ball that is used. A lighter ball will need lighter pins to be able to knock the pins over.

No matter what size bottles you use, or how you decorate, this activity will be a lot of fun for children. It really is a fun game to play with toddlers! Smaller kids are really fascinated with cause and effect. And this game allows them to safely test out those actions without breaking anything! Just make sure to  show your toddler how to roll underhand! This is also a great game to learn about taking turns.

Enjoy your bowling set!

Written By: Gena W., The Mom Crowd Contributor


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