Your son Joey does not want to do his homework tonight. The same thing happened last night and a few evenings last week. The problem is not that he does not know how to do his work but that he just seems to be unable to focus and just get down to it. As a mother you can offer help to your son to make sure that his homework gets done, not just tonight but every night that he has it to do.
Here are some six suggestions as to how you can offer homework help for your child:
- Your child needs a special area where he can sit down and do his homework without being interrupted. It needs to be quiet and away from distractions such as the television, the computer, toys and other children in the home. The work area you set up for your child needs to have an appropriately sized desk (or table) and chair. The space that is designated your child’s area for homework does not have to be large but it does need to be peaceful.
- You need breaks when you are doing your work and so does your child. A younger child can work a short period of time before needing a break while your older child or teenager can work for a longer period of time before needing a break. Encourage your son (or daughter) to take short breaks between studying or working on school work.
- Getting your child into a routine of doing homework at approximately the same time every day when they are young will help them to develop good study habits and will be beneficial to them as they get older and as their workload increases. Building good habits should start young. Help your children in getting into a routine of homework and studying early in their lives.
- To help your child be as organized as possible buy a large sized calendar for the wall and post it near his homework area. Make this your child’s calendar for work assignments. Use a marker to write down when assignments are due and when tests are coming up. Your little one cannot forget important dates for homework assignments when you hang a big enough calendar right in front of his desk (and his eyes!). If you do this your child will never be able to use the excuse that he forgot to do his homework!
- If your child asks for your help with his homework then there is nothing wrong with you helping out- a little bit. In that way you will become well acquainted with the work he is learning in school. But you don’t want to end up doing his work for him. Proofreading his work to look for spelling or grammar errors is fine as is looking to see if his mathematical calculations are right but remember it is his work so he must do it. You can provide some mommy assistance but he is the one that needs to learn from what he is doing.
- Rewarding your child for his hard work, effort and concentration is important. If he has done his homework for the last week or two and completed it on time then find a way to treat him. Let him know that you see his efforts and praise him for that. Positive reinforcement works for everyone of all ages. Your son or daughter wants your acceptance and wants to please you. When your acknowledge that you know he or she is putting in a great deal of effort this means so much to his or her level of self-esteem.
- As a mother you need to provide a gentle and supportive helping hand when it comes to assisting your child with his homework responsibilities. When you guide him in the right direction you can help him to develop positive study and homework habits that can see him through his entire school career.
Some kids look forward to meal times while others not so much. If your child does not want to eat- a problem that is particularly common with toddlers- then you need to find ways to make meal times as fun and interesting for your child and the rest of the family as possible.
Here are some ideas that you can try. Some may work better for your little ones than others. Try a few and see what works for your family. You may be surprised how easy it is to make meal times an enjoyable experience for everyone at your table!
Put Your Creative Juices to Work
If you are a creative mother in general then getting creative in the kitchen should be no problem for you. Find ways to make food look fun and make it appeal to what your kids like. Arrange foods in an enticing manner on your children’s plates. Chop up vegetables and fruits and then arrange them in a way that they spell out your child’s name or make them look like animals. This can also easily be done with nuts or sunflower seeds. Use condiments such as ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard to make smiley faces on your child’s food. Get creative with celery, broccoli, cheese and meat. The more creative you can be the better. This makes it all the more likely that youth daughter or son will want to eat his food.
Think Fun Characters for Cutlery
Buy utensils for your children that are appropriate for their age group. If you purchase forks, spoons, bowls and plates with their favorite characters on them such as Disney characters, Barbie or Dora the Explorer then they are more likely to dig into their food because they are surrounded by the characters that make them smile and giggle. This is an instant pick-me-up for a meal!
Try on Themes for Size
Having themed meals whenever possible is a way to pique the interest of your children and have them scurrying to the dinner table to partake of the fun feast. Choose different locations from across the globe and make a meal that features dishes from that area. Try French, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Greek and Thai, among others. Play music unique to that area and hang some decorations. This will also provide a means for your children to learn more about other parts of the world. Another theme could be favorite family recipes passed down through generations. You may wish to do your family one night and your husband’s on the next theme night. The point is to make it as fun as possible and to find as many ways as possible for your children to join in.
Let Them Help
If they are old enough then let your children help you to prepare meals. Whether they are sprinkling croutons on a salad, spreading butter on rolls or setting the table find ways that they can be a part of things in the kitchen. They may be more interested in eating the food if they know that their hard work went into helping you to prepare it.
Be Patient and Do Not Stress Out
Do not be too hard on yourself if your child simply refuses to eat. In most cases the child is not hungry and will ask for food when he or she does feel hungry. You might want to look closer at what your child is eating and drinking throughout the day to determine why, for instance, he does not seem to have an appetite when it is time for supper. Make sure your child is not consuming too many beverages throughout the day that cause him to not want to eat his supper. You may even decide to change the times that you have meals at to see if it will be more accommodating for your child’s appetite. Only do this though if it does not cause problems with other family members and does not conflict with other aspects of family life.
Your son Timothy has a new friend who is always around when he needs him and whenever he wants to play. He shares his toys with him, engages in lively conversations with him and talks about him to family members all of time. There is only one problem with Timothy’s friend. He is not real.
Imaginary Friends- Not Uncommon
Having imaginary friends is not that uncommon. Approximately 65 percent of children between the ages of three to five years of age create friends that are imaginary. It generally takes place at a time when a young child’s identity is starting to form and they are beginning to test the boundaries that exist between what is real and what is fantasy. While imaginary friends are usually outgrown by the time a child starts school, research has shown that approximately one-third of children continue to have an imaginary friend through the age of seven. For very young children imaginary friends are often based on physical objects such as a doll or a stuffed animal. Girls tend to have imaginary friends more than boys do, according to studies that have looked at this and parents are more likely to be aware of the imaginary friend of their daughter’s than their son’s.
Relax and Don’t Sweat It
If your child has an imaginary friend that is important to him or her then you may be alarmed by this. You may wonder if this is a sign that your child has a problem, such as being socially maladjusted. You may also wonder how you should handle the situation. Should you treat the situation as if it is completely normal or should you discourage the presence of the imaginary friend in your child’s life?
Relax. That is what you should do about the imaginary friend situation- just relax. In most cases a friend that your child has created is nothing more than the result of a mind that is creative, curious and trying to understand and make sense of the expanding world that he or she lives in. Your child wants to learn and explore and for some children, imaginary friends help them to do just that. You will be happy to know as a mother that children who have the most active of imaginations tend to grow into creative and curious adults who are always hungering to learn- and they show no signs of being socially maladjusted.
Purposes for an Imaginary Friend
For a child an imaginary friend may serve a variety of purposes. An imaginary friend:
- makes it possible for your child to try out different types of relationships at a time when their social development is at a critical point
- allows a child to explore such things as control, discipline and power without having to cope with authority figures in the real world
- helps a child to cope with anxiety in his life that is associated with a transition (such as a move, a new baby in the family or a death in the family)
When to be Worried
As a parent you need to pay close attention to the duration and the intensity of your child’s friendship with the figment of their imagination. You need to be concerned if your child does not show any interest in interacting with other children but instead wants to spend much of his or her time playing with the imaginary chum. This can point to some sort of psychological distress that is going on with the child and it needs to be addressed.
In time your child’s interest in being involved with an invented friend will disappear as he becomes sure of himself and as your child develops meaningful friendships with his peers. However if your child seems deeply engrossed in this imaginary friendship and it shows no signs of dissipating but instead seems to be picking up speed then it is time to speak with a professional to find out if your child may be dealing with some anxieties, fears or worries that he has not shared with you.
Some children create imaginary friends to help them cope with the complex, uncertain and often frustrating issues that crop up in their lives. As a parent you should not discourage your child’s manner of interacting with the world by his existence of a made up confidante. You should also not poke fun at the relationship. Remember that this friend seems all too real to your child and plays a role in his growth. You should not become too involved with the drama either though. You can go along with the situation up to a point. It does have limits. You can also use a gentle but firm way of reminding your Timothy that his friend is make believe.
When you have children to take care of, laundry to do, meals to prepare and your job to go to it can be difficult (well downright impossible sometimes!) to make time for yourself and your own needs. Finding the time to get your hair cut, working in your flower garden or even sitting down to have a couple of sips of tea and read a few pages in a novel can be beyond the scope that your schedule allows. It is important though to find “me” time in your busy “mom” days.
Why is it so Important?
Making time for yourself is important because if you do not then you can become overwhelmed, stressed out and exhausted. You may even end up feeling angry because you are neglecting yourself. If you can find a few minutes every day to relax and do something nice for yourself then this can be very good for your emotional and psychological well-being. Even if it is not every day, as often as you can you should look for opportunities to make time for yourself.
Find the Time Whenever You Can
You need to find time to be good to yourself whenever you can find it. Perhaps it is later in the evening after your children have gone to bed. Or maybe it is first thing in the morning before your children have gotten out of bed. Enjoy a cup of tea or coffee and the silence of some uninterrupted moments before the day takes hold. Or maybe it is when your six month old is napping, in between doing laundry and washing dishes. The point is make every moment count in your day-to-day schedule and find a few precious minutes wherever and whenever you can in your hectic day to do something just for yourself. Even if you stop for five minutes to put your feet up and daydream as you look out the window, that is still precious time for yourself – and it matters.
Me Time Options for Moms
When the weather is good and your children are at school, or at grandma’s or are visiting a friend take a stroll around your neighborhood or through a local park. Be leisurely about it and pay attention to all of the beauty that surrounds you. Breathe in the fresh air and enjoy those moments of being alone with nature. Okay, so maybe the dog needs to be walked so you choose to combine his walk with your alone time and maybe you are walking in a dog park instead of the local park. At least you are out walking! Whatever works for you is fine as long as you get to relax your mind and body a bit and get away from some of the stresses of the day.
Regardless of whether you work inside or outside of the home you need to take breaks. Whether it is a break from your computer or your kids wanting your undivided attention you need to take mini breaks throughout the day to keep your sanity. Maybe you can retreat to your favorite chair and flip through a magazine or call up a close friend for a quick chat. Or maybe you can spend a few minutes working on a craft, skimming the newspaper or glancing at a television program that you enjoy.
When you have a larger block of time for yourself, such as if your husband takes the kids somewhere for an afternoon then pamper yourself because you deserve it. Go to the beauty salon and get your hair styled differently, get a manicure, a pedicure, a facial, or a massage. If one of your friends is free then make it an outing for the two of you. While you are at it the two of you should catch up over coffee or lunch. As a mother you are probably so use to treating your loved ones that you have forgotten how good it feels to treat yourself. It is time to remember it now!
When you are a mother who works from home a balancing act between your family life and your working life must be established. It would be wonderful if it was a gentle balancing act that is very smooth but sometimes it is not so easy and instead ends up being very messy!
You may have thought being self-employed would be easier on your family, especially if you have young children to raise, but sometimes it is just as complicated because the boundary lines are blurred. You are working out of your home office and since you are home more often your children do not necessarily understand that you still have work to do.
Achieving a work life balance that is harmonious and works for both your personal life and your career is not a simple task. Just when you think you have it figured out the two worlds can collide- WHAM! – and then you have to stop and re-evaluate and reassess your priorities and make the necessary changes to make it all work well. Complete harmony? Maybe not but at least you can strive for a workable and manageable relationship between the life you live and the work you do.
It may be some consolation to know that your choice to become self-employed is a choice that more and more people are making all of the time. These same people are also looking for ways to balance out their lives in order that no one gets left out. According to the Kauffman Foundation, an entrepreneurship research organization, more individuals started their own businesses in 2009 than at any time in the preceding 14 years. This includes not only starting a new business, but buying an existing business, partnering up with someone else or investing in a franchise.
There are a few important things you can do when it comes to balancing out your life when you are a self-employed mother. Let us look at those now.
Always keep your priorities in sight
Know what is most important and what is least important and work from there. Set your goals for the month and then break them down into manageable goals by the week or even by the day. Being aware of your priorities and being as organized as possible go together and can make a tremendous difference when it comes to balancing your mommy duties with your workload. Keep your calendar or your planner with you at all times. In this way you will be aware of how you are spending your time and you will also be able to determine what you should commit more time to and what takes up too much of your time and can be allocated a shorter time period.
Learn what works and then do that
If you are more productive at your job when your kids are in school during the mornings then use that time to make business calls, type up reports, meet with clients, do research and so on. Be proactive in how you approach things. If you always pick up your kids and their friends from school and it has started to cause some problems for you when it comes to your work schedule then find out if other mothers could share this responsibility with you. Maybe you could trade off on days. Taking turns can make it easier for you to find and keep your work/life balance.
Set a work schedule for yourself
The great thing about being self-employed is that you can set your own hours and you do not necessarily have to work a 9 to 5 or an 8 to 4 work day. But having work hours that flip flop all over the place can be as confusing for you as it can be for everyone else in your personal life and your working life! You can still have flexibility when you are self-employed but working crazy hours is not advisable. Developing a routine and sticking with it can help you to set boundaries that separate your work from your family life and can make keeping everything in perspective that much simpler.
