The Mom Crowd

Lately it has been pretty stressful around our house. Our five year old daughter has all of a sudden been on her own agenda each day. She thinks the world revolves around her and she doesn’t have to do anything other than what she wants to do. When I correct her with her wrong actions it’s a constant battle and often times I feel defeated at the end of the day as if I have given her complete control of the situation. So after some research I have found a few key points that are crucial if you are experiencing the same type of thing in your home.

Do not overreact

Keeping your composure and not overreacting is extremely important in this type of situation. Even though it might be difficult at times, your child is in a very vulnerable state to copy everything that you do. So if you yell back at them, even though you are correcting their actions. They are just going to continue to think it’s okay to yell as well. If your child is yelling at you something you could respond with is, “I think you could find a better way to say that.” By you yelling back at them it will only add to what ever frustration might be the root of their behavior.

Offer choices

Children want to feel like they are in control of their own life. If at all possible during the day give your child options to make their own decisions. “Would you like to wear shorts or pants today?” “Would you like a sandwich or soup for lunch?” By letting them make their own decisions they will begin to feel like you are including them and allowing them to make their own big kid decisions versus you always deciding for them.

Setting limits

If your child says something that is not acceptable in your house. Be sure you draw the line and make it known that we do not say that in this house. It is extremely important to set limits with children and stick to them. If you don’t stick to the limits that you have set forth, your child will more than likely become defiant because they know you are not serious. It is also important to communicate in a calm fashion that every thought that runs through their head does not need to be verbalized. Whether it be the way someone looks out in public, or how something tastes when you are at a friends house having lunch. Set limits with your child and let them know what is acceptable and what is not.

Keep your eye on the goal

Always try and focus on the solution. Be sure that in your child’s calmer moments you try and understand why they act the way they do. Maybe the reason they don’t stay in their bed each night isn’t because they don’t like their bed, but because they see monsters on the wall. If so, buy them a nightlight to take care of the problem. Try to focus on how to get to the bottom of their problems versus always fighting them and thinking they are just being a little brat. There is almost always a reason behind it all.

It’s really hard to stay current sometimes when it comes to fashion.  I am no fashionista.  Most days it’s comfortable pants, a simple top and some flip flops.  Since I work from home, I don’t really need to go anyplace.  Since we live in a really small town, I don’t feel like I have anything to really dress up for.

Then the other day, I went to the store and noticed that the lady in from of me was wearing fluffy yellow slippers, sweats and a shirt.  Then it hit me, I was just a pair of fluffy slippers away from officially giving up on what I wear. UGH…….

Since most of us don’t have the money for a full head to toe makeover, you can start with this list of five ways to get out of the mom rut. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us, but the good thing is, you can totally take control and get your pre-motherhood groove back.

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Traveling a far distance with a toddler can be a daunting experience. After having taken my one year-old on several cross-country flights and a week-long road trip, I felt it would be nice to share some of our successes and failures in case there are any parents out there who are gearing up to bravely take their little ones on their first big trip.

As far as places to stay go, I can’t stress enough how much more convenient it is to find a hotel that either offers suites with a kitchenette, which is ideal, or a room that has a refrigerator. Your toddler is going to need somewhere for their milk and other perishable snacks and food. This is beyond difficult to deal with when you are limited to ice machines and coolers. Having experienced both options, I would gladly pay a few extra dollars for the luxury of the refrigerator amenity.

When it comes to flying, there are some things to consider. We have successfully maneuvered our baby boy through long flights and flights with layovers. There are benefits to both depending on what kind of kid you have. A flight with layover gives you the opportunity to stretch your legs and take a break from the plane atmosphere. A direct flight makes for a much shorter day of travel. While a layover can be a nice break, it can also make for a super long day because switching planes takes an hour at least.

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We are homeschoolers.  We are also a family of five.  We also have a mommy that stays home.  That’s just a couple of the choices we have made.  Despite all of those being really great choices in my mind, sadly society on a whole judges us.  People wrinkle their brows and roll their eyes when they find out we homeschool.  They ask us why we wanted to have three kids when it is so expensive.  They ask me if I get bored working at home.

What I want to ask them is when did it become cool to judge other moms?  It is the single most horrible thing about being a mom when it comes to walking out of the house with your kids.  You are not only judged as a women (too fat, too thin, too mean, too flirty) you are now judged by the choices that you make as a mom.  Like I need another thing to worry about people.  I mean, I am trying to raise tiny humans for goodness sake.

I once met a really nice man who told me that “life is better when you embrace that there is unity in diversity.” Boy I wish that was a national motto in America and a few other places……………

In a world full of war, bullies and others who are trying to say that there view is the best and that you should think like them, saying that there is unity in the fact that we are all different is a big statement.  It is hard sometimes to understand why people feel so empowered to share their opinion but most of all I struggle with the fact that people seem to feel so empowered to share their opinion in front of my kids.

The other day I was talking to a lady who is new on the street.  She asked if my boys were sick.  This I assume was because it was 9:30am and my boys were outside, riding bikes and playing Nerf Guns and not at school.  I told her we homeschool and the boys had finished all of their work early today, so we decided to play for a while.  I got the usual one eyebrow up and the “wow you homeschool” look.

I told her that is was the most amazing experience and that she should not judge me for my choice because it was my choice.  She said she was not judging anyone but I told her “ya you kind of are.”  I had to call her out, I really felt like I had to stick up for my choice and my kid.

The thing was, my oldest was standing right there and wanted to know why that lady was acting like going to school at home was bad.  This prompted us to have to sit down and talk to him that going to school at home is not only just as good, if not better than going to school the way everyone else does and that her reaction was only because she didn’t understand that being different, well that being different is not a bad thing.

If we were all the same, then we would all be very limited in what we do, what we like and how we do these things.  It is because we are all different that we come together and learn from each other.  It’s a hard concept for kids to understand but sadly it is harder for adults to learn.  It is also sad that I cannot imagine not being judged by the other moms on the playground.  It is even more sad that I expect to see people roll their eyes when I say I homeschool.  We all know that being a mom means doing the work of like 40 by yourself so why do we not get the fact that it only makes it harder when we judge that other mom who is busting her booty to just get the kids to their play date?

When I became a mom the last thing in the world I wanted was to be judged.  Being a mom is hard enough and we all know that.  So why do we feel so obligated to judge other moms.  Can’t we just appreciate that they are just trying to make the best choices for their family?  Their family is not mine, so why would I want to pass judgement on them when I don’t know what it is like to be them?  I think it is possible but it is going to mean that we all put each other in check.  Moms need to mom up and when they have that other mom roll their eyes at them for having their 4 year old use a sippy cup, we need to say that we all make our own decisions and that’s okay.

So take the pledge a embrace your choices.  Just like you tell your kids that the kid that called them stupid is really the stupid one, don’t be afraid to stand up and say that you made a choice and it was right for you.  Be proud of your choices.  You made them for a reason right!?

Once children reach the age of comprehension, which could be as young as five for some, it is a good idea to start teaching them important and valuable lessons about home security. It is necessary to teach your children about home security at a young age so that it sticks with them as they get older and ultimately until they are adults living in their own home. There are many ways to teach your children important lessons on home security and safety.

Practice Learning Emergency Numbers

Once your children get to the age where they can recognize and remember numbers, you will want to teach them to call 9-1-1 if there is ever an emergency situation going on. You can explain to your children that calling 9-1-1 in the event of an emergency can save lives. Let your children know that whenever they feel scared or uncomfortable in a situation, whether it is someone breaking into the home, a fire, or any other serious emergency, that they should dial this number.

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