The Mom Crowd

My daughter, Darah was tube fed for the first two years of her life. Most people had absolutely no idea what her feeding tube was and I got a lot of stares or quick “look aways” and a lot of questions about what those tubes were for. Darah was born with a very serious heart defect. This heart defect made her incredibly tired. In addition to her heart defect, she also has low muscle tone, because she had Down syndrome. The combination of low muscle tone and her exhaustion from her heart defect made her suck/swallow/breathe coordination impossible. From day one, we had to sustain her life by using a feeding tube.

The first feeding tube we used was an Oral Gastric (OG) tube and after about a month, Darah graduated to a Naso Gastric (NG) tube. The OG tube is a feeding tube that is inserted in the mouth, down the esophagus, into the stomach. The NG tube is inserted through the nostril, down the esophagus, and into the stomach. With a syringe (or pump), we were able to pour my breastmilk or formula into Darah’s stomach. Darah’s open heart surgery was not until she was three months old, so she received all of her nourishment through her feeding tube. The NG Tube made her very sensitive to anything coming near her face or mouth. This oral aversion led to a surgically placed feeding tube when she was five months old. This G-tube allowed us to give Darah her necessary calories and fluids and attempt to work on feeding. She started off with a Peg Tube, which is a feeding tube in the tummy that has a permanent extension tube attached to it. After that healed, 6 weeks later, we switched that out for a Mic-key button. The best way to describe this is it’s just like a beach ball plug. It snaps shut when you’re not using it, and when you’re ready to access it you can unplug it and attach a tube extension to it.

Fast forward to Darah at 16 months old. She had made very minimal progress with oral feedings and we decided to attend a six-week inpatient, intensive feeding program in Dallas, Texas. This program (Our Children’s House at Baylor) was the best thing we ever did. When we completed our 6 week stay, Darah was taking all of her caloric needs orally. She still struggled with drinking, however she was taking all of her fluids orally by her second birthday. Her feeding tube was removed a few days before her second birthday! She now loves to eat and drink! (I never thought I’d be able to say that!)

If you are dealing with a feeding tube, or severe feeding issues, I strongly encourage you to do a few things:

• Find support from other moms who have been there/done that! I found this great yahoo group that was always there for my questions and concerns.
• Don’t go it alone! Ask close friends or family to learn how to feed your child. By training a few people, you can get those much needed breaks from the whole feeding process. Most people will be happy to learn and to help.
• Ask questions! If you aren’t comfortable with your doctor’s advice, get a second opinion. G-tube surgeries are done a lot, however it is still major surgery. So, ask questions! Remember that this is YOUR baby! It’s so easy to forget that when you have a child with multiple health issues.
• Get lots of “extras!” Every time you’re in the hospital or doctor’s office, make sure you pick up a spare g-tube, extensions, and syringes!
• Find an EXCELLENT Speech Pathologist and Occupational Therapist. Don’t be afraid to “shop around.” Find a therapist who is a researcher and not afraid to think outside the box.
• Don’t be easily offended. A lot of people stared at Darah’s tube because they just didn’t know what it was. If anyone asked me about it, I happily educated them on it. People don’t mean to offend when they stare (or quickly look away), they just don’t know what it is and don’t know how to respond.

I love answering questions about feeding tubes and would love for anyone to take the opportunity to share their tube-feeding story, experience, or question!

Here’s some more resources for you:

Tummy Tunnels

New Visions-Children with Feeding Tubes

Kids with Tubes

Little Bites Support Group

My goal is to breastfeed my daughter until she is one year old. Once she turns one she can switch to cow’s milk. Ace turns 1 in less than three weeks. Lately I have been thinking about my goal to nurse for a year and the decision to wean. I have already begun the weaning process. She only nurses about twice a day and can use a sippy cup if she needs to. I have never really pumped. I never expected the decision to wean to be so emotional.

All my personal reasons to stop nursing aren’t a factor anymore. I wear underwire bras again. I occasionally drink a glass of wine after Ace is down for the night. It doesn’t take Ace long to nurse. It only happens two or three times a day. I am not nervous about nursing in public anymore. The only personal reason that I have left is so I can take antihistamines and certain antibiotics if I get sick.

The convenience of nursing is awesome. I hate doing dishes. I don’t have to go downstairs first thing in the morning to make a cup of milk. My husband usually gets up with me, changes Ace’s diaper and then brings her to me in bed. Right now the convenience outweighs the alternative for me.

My daughter is small for her age as she is normally in the 20th percentile for height and weight. I like that she is still small, so it doesn’t seem weird to me to nurse her. Although when she sits up and nurses it’s a little bit weird. Sometimes I feel like a soda fountain at a buffet.

Nursing has definitely given me a bond with my daughter that I didn’t expect. I had heard about nursing creating a bond between you and your baby, but I didn’t understand what my friends meant. Now I feel like I know. When she nurses we have a connection that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t nursed.

Ace is increasingly getting more adventurous and doesn’t want to be held as much. My little baby is turning into a toddler. I am not ready to fully wean her, because I am not ready for her to grow up. I didn’t think the first year would go by so quickly. Especially not in her second month when I wasn’t getting any sleep and nursing around the clock. But now she is almost one year old and I need to make a decision.

I know Ace may wean herself any day. My friend Kristin’s son just stopped nursing two weeks before his one-year birthday. There have been two nights where Ace didn’t want to nurse, because she was too full from dinner. It actually made me a little sad.

Right now I am going to continue to nurse past the first year until I have a peace about stopping or Ace isn’t interested anymore. I am happy with this unexpected decision.

I would love to hear your stories! When did you stop nursing? Did your baby wean themselves or did you wean them? How did you make your decision?

This is a guest post from my friend Myra at Moon and Back Studios. Myra is a talented designer and the mom of a very picky eater (see photo).

I’ve been cursed. Not in the pin in the voodoo doll sort of way. I’m talking about the kinds of curses parents put on their kids. You see, I was once a picky eater. I remember pushing my mom to the limits at meal time. And I vividly recall worrying about going to a friend’s house for dinner for fear they would serve something with fresh tomatoes (yuck), avocadoes (double yuck) or liver (the very worst yuck of all). Of course, there were many other foods that made The List, but even I couldn’t hold a candle to the Little Man (LM). And I had no idea what was in store for me.

But first my disclaimer: I write this in the spirit of McKenna’s recent article. I truly am not competitive about LM’s picky eating. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it might be one of the most frustrating experiences of my life, and certainly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Now here’s the part that might sound unbelievable but I promise it’s true. I am convinced that the picky problem started with LM at birth. It seemed as though I had the only child in the world who wouldn’t latch on. I went to the breastfeeding classes (alone) and knew all about its merits. So naturally, when LM refused breastfeeding, like any first time mother, I worried he might have severe nutritional deficits. Maybe even graduate at the bottom of his class. Or worse. So I pumped. Then, at just two weeks LM wound up in the hospital for a two week stay. But that’s a whole other story.

During the time in the hospital, I still diligently pumped. But LM hated breast milk, even with me on a bland diet. So we tried formula. Then colic ensued. So our pediatrician suggested Nutramagin. Worse colic. So the doctor prescribed another brand that was something like $30 for a 3 day supply. You’d think at that price the brand would be burned in my brain. It made the colic only slightly better.

We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist who told us if he had a nickel for every baby he saw with colic, he’d be a rich man. He patted us on the back, suggested we get some sleep (no - really?), and sent us home. Thanks for that. And my PPO thanks you too.

Fast forward to the LM at 2. At this age, he was too old for the four kinds of baby food he was willing to eat, so we tried to introduce “real” food. While trying to convince him that Cheerios are super fun “kid food”, he would gag violently when a single one was placed in his mouth. Finally, he was willing to eat PBJ sandwiches, but only when cut into bite-sized pieces that could be stabbed with a baby fork. Eventually, with some persuading from his aunt, he tried Goldfish crackers. Ahh, making progress. Then he added applesauce and yogurt. And of course, anything from the dessert food group was fair game. But there it stopped. For THREE years.

When I asked my pediatrician for advice, she lectured me about not giving in. She implied that I was being controlled by my child. But my husband and I are pretty strict parents. We haven’t raised a little dictator who rules our home.

The pediatrician suggested that we put food in front of the LM and when he got hungry enough, he’d eat. “Don’t be a short order cook,” she warned. So we tried. And in the spirit of the game, the LM raised the ante to an all out, 2 ½ day hunger strike. He was miserable, but not as miserable as we were. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. So on the third day, I made the PBJ and handed him the baby fork.

Now LM is five years old. Every single bite of every meal must be negotiated. We make deals about “healthy food” so he can have “snack food.” Until just recently, going to a restaurant required packing a meal that fit nicely in my purse. And really, that was quite easy. PBJ, Goldfish crackers and applesauce don’t take much room in a nice sized bucket bag. Restaurant dining with family also included (and still does) knowing stares from relatives who think we’re pushovers and should do a better job standing our ground. But what’s the point of shoving food into the LM’s mouth while he gags to the point of throwing up? Believe me, there were moments of desperation where I tried that. It didn’t work.

We had a mini breakthrough on the way to my birthday dinner in January. LM announced from the backseat, “you know, I might try something healthy tonight.” Just like that. We ordered grilled chicken and green beans, and he actually ate some. That was his first taste of meat since the ground up mystery meat in the baby food.

Since the breakthrough on my birthday, we’ve added chicken nugget Happy Meals to the menu selection. He tried the hamburger version first, and promptly informed me that “the brown stuff in the middle is gross mom.” But I don’t eat it either, so I can live with that.
When we’re invited to a birthday party, I try not to stare wistfully at the kids hungrily shoving pizza in their mouths. We wouldn’t have any of that. Instead, LM waits patiently while they eat, content with the knowledge that cake is on the way.

So, back to McKenna’s post and the spirit this is written. Please outdo me! I want to be one-upped. I want to know there are moms out there with experiences like mine - maybe even worse. And maybe someone will have some brilliant advice. All I want is to be an underachiever.

For the record, I could very easily lapse into ordering at a restaurant in a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way. But I do my best to refrain from requests for “on the side” because I don’t want to be one of them. But I still will not touch a raw tomato.

When my oldest, Ewan, was a baby he would eat ANYTHING! Asparagus, kale, broccoli, peas, spinach, carrots, you name it. Well, he is 4 years old now and vegetables don’t have the same appeal they once had. What can I say, he’s acting his age. Surprisingly, the things he LOVED as a baby are not as fun to eat now. He actually prefers raw vegetables these days to cooked ones. Isaac, my 3 year old, eats a bigger variety of food than Ewan, including vegetables. I have been worried about whether or not Ewan gets enough veges in his diet. He would eat bread, pasta, and rice until he turned into a giant carbohydrate if we let him! I personally have a hard time getting the recommended amount of vegetables in my own diet. It is always easy to include vegetables at dinner time but I have a harder time for lunch.

It is because of this that I was interested in the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. I had heard about it several months ago and put it in my mental catalogue of cookbooks to try. Then some friends were telling me about it and some of the recipes and I decided to bite the bullet and buy it. When my friend, Kim (who has 4 kids), shared that her kids were gobbling up the food she was cooking I got excited!

The way it works and the reason it is called “Deceptively Delicious” is because you add pureed vegetables to the recipes. It doesn’t affect the flavor in an obvious way but you get some of the extra veggies you need. The book has some great information in it on how the different vegetables are helpful to our bodies. She has a thorough list of foods to keep on hand in your pantry in order to make the recipes from the book. After reading over the list I noticed the things she recommends are items that I usually have on hand anyway. For example, whole wheat flour, whole wheat tortillas, parmesan cheese, brown rice, whole grain pastas, wheat germ, cottage cheese, chicken broth, canned beans. The list is much longer but that gives you an idea of what is required of the recipes. The only thing that I don’t normally keep on hand and needed to get was Flax Seed meal. Flax seeds provide omega-3 fatty acids to your diet which is a great alternative if you aren’t a fish eater. They are good for your bones and your heart.

Read the rest of this entry »

My son, Connor weaned from the bottle to the straw cup. I chose to transition him to the straw cup instead of the sippy cup for several reasons.

1. Straw cups were easier for him to hold because they don’t require tilting.
2. Straws are EXCELLENT for oral motor strengthening and speech development.
3. A sippy cup is just one more thing to have to wean from. He can use a straw until he’s an adult!
4. Sippy cups can contribute to speech problems and dental problems, so I wanted to avoid them if possible.

However, this isn’t my article on convincing you to use straw cups with your child. This is my article comparing the trillion different straw cups out there so you can choose the right one for your child! The one thing consistent in all straw cups on the market is leaking. I haven’t found one cup that is completely leak proof, but some are definitely better than others!

Munchkin’s 10 oz. Insulated Straw Cup - Mommy and Connor’s Pick!

Munchkin’s wins in our house as Mommy and Connor’s favorite straw cup on the market. This cup is durable and has lived through many of Connor’s throws. The straw is nice and soft and Connor really enjoys drinking from this cup. While it leaks (like every single straw cup on the shelves), I have found that it leaks the least out of all of the straw cups I’ve tried. The fact that it leaks minimally and is not too difficult to clean makes this straw cup my pick. The price is steep at $6.97 on Amazon.com, however I paid $4.99 at my local grocery store for mine. I love the Dora, Diego, and Backyardigan prints, but am not fond of the Spongebob Squarepants prints. I had to wait for a new shipment to come in to avoid buying the Spongebob print because he’s just a little too mature and obnoxious for my kids in my opinion.

Playtex Baby Einstein - Highly Recommended!

This is my second favorite of the lot. The reason I love this straw cup is cleaning time! The valve is a plug, so you can unplug the valve and clean the straw very easily. All of the other straws are attached to the valve and cleaning is a little more difficult…not impossible, but more difficult than this one! I also love the fun Baby Einstein prints that are age appropriate. This cup leaks more than the Munchkins, however if you make sure the lid’s not screwed too tight, the leaking will decrease. Overall, this is a great straw cup!

Take & Toss Straw Sippers - A Must-Try!

Obviously, the price is GREAT! For $2.99, you get five cups. That’s $0.60 per cup and you can’t beat that in the overpriced baby market we live in! There are no valves, so these cups make for easy cleaning. Even though there are no valves, the leaking is not as bad as I thought. They don’t leak any more than some of the other straw cups that have valves. The lids are very sensitive. If you press on the top of the cup, the contents will travel quickly up the straw. I’ve had a lot of counter messes when using this cup. The straws are not very soft. They are a thick plastic and Connor does not enjoy drinking from these cups. I do keep these cups in stock for extended day trips, friends who come to play, and as back-ups when I am way behind on my dishes.

Gerber Cool Twisties - Not very durable.

The price is not too steep at $3.95 per cup. The straw is nice and soft and Connor enjoyed drinking from this cup. I also like the fun space design on the cup. Cleaning this cup is not very difficult. While Connor loved this cup, and the price isn’t too bad, I can’t recommend it for a couple reasons. This cup can do some major leaking! Connor is in the stage of throwing things when he’s done (that’s another blog post!) and he has broken two of these cups. He throws all of his cups, but these have been the least durable. Overall, I’d probably not purchase this cup again due to the fact that they can be easily broken by throwing toddlers!

Luv n’ Care’s 2 Handle 8 oz. Cup - Don’t waste your money!

This cup is my least favorite. There are some good things about this cup that I’ll share with you. This is the only straw cup I’ve found that has handles and I love the short squatty shape in contrast to the long stretched shapes of the other cups. The price is GREAT at $3.99 per cup. I bought a two pack for $5.99 at Babies “R” Us. The straw is super soft and Connor really loved drinking from this cup. I also didn’t have too bad of a time with the leaking. While it has many good features, it has a couple problems that keep me from recommending this cup. The straw is three separate pieces. One of the pieces is incredibly small and it is very difficult to put together. It is also incredibly difficult to clean because there is a valve on both ends of the mouth piece. Once you take this straw cup apart, it is incredibly difficult to put back together. If the maker would correct these problems, this would be my favorite straw cup on the shelves.

Check out these links about straw cup drinking:

Mommy Speech Therapy’s take on straw cups over sippy cups

How To Teach a Child to Drink From a Straw

Sippy Cups Causing Too Many Cavities