The Mom Crowd

We are homeschoolers.  We are also a family of five.  We also have a mommy that stays home.  That’s just a couple of the choices we have made.  Despite all of those being really great choices in my mind, sadly society on a whole judges us.  People wrinkle their brows and roll their eyes when they find out we homeschool.  They ask us why we wanted to have three kids when it is so expensive.  They ask me if I get bored working at home.

What I want to ask them is when did it become cool to judge other moms?  It is the single most horrible thing about being a mom when it comes to walking out of the house with your kids.  You are not only judged as a women (too fat, too thin, too mean, too flirty) you are now judged by the choices that you make as a mom.  Like I need another thing to worry about people.  I mean, I am trying to raise tiny humans for goodness sake.

I once met a really nice man who told me that “life is better when you embrace that there is unity in diversity.” Boy I wish that was a national motto in America and a few other places……………

In a world full of war, bullies and others who are trying to say that there view is the best and that you should think like them, saying that there is unity in the fact that we are all different is a big statement.  It is hard sometimes to understand why people feel so empowered to share their opinion but most of all I struggle with the fact that people seem to feel so empowered to share their opinion in front of my kids.

The other day I was talking to a lady who is new on the street.  She asked if my boys were sick.  This I assume was because it was 9:30am and my boys were outside, riding bikes and playing Nerf Guns and not at school.  I told her we homeschool and the boys had finished all of their work early today, so we decided to play for a while.  I got the usual one eyebrow up and the “wow you homeschool” look.

I told her that is was the most amazing experience and that she should not judge me for my choice because it was my choice.  She said she was not judging anyone but I told her “ya you kind of are.”  I had to call her out, I really felt like I had to stick up for my choice and my kid.

The thing was, my oldest was standing right there and wanted to know why that lady was acting like going to school at home was bad.  This prompted us to have to sit down and talk to him that going to school at home is not only just as good, if not better than going to school the way everyone else does and that her reaction was only because she didn’t understand that being different, well that being different is not a bad thing.

If we were all the same, then we would all be very limited in what we do, what we like and how we do these things.  It is because we are all different that we come together and learn from each other.  It’s a hard concept for kids to understand but sadly it is harder for adults to learn.  It is also sad that I cannot imagine not being judged by the other moms on the playground.  It is even more sad that I expect to see people roll their eyes when I say I homeschool.  We all know that being a mom means doing the work of like 40 by yourself so why do we not get the fact that it only makes it harder when we judge that other mom who is busting her booty to just get the kids to their play date?

When I became a mom the last thing in the world I wanted was to be judged.  Being a mom is hard enough and we all know that.  So why do we feel so obligated to judge other moms.  Can’t we just appreciate that they are just trying to make the best choices for their family?  Their family is not mine, so why would I want to pass judgement on them when I don’t know what it is like to be them?  I think it is possible but it is going to mean that we all put each other in check.  Moms need to mom up and when they have that other mom roll their eyes at them for having their 4 year old use a sippy cup, we need to say that we all make our own decisions and that’s okay.

So take the pledge a embrace your choices.  Just like you tell your kids that the kid that called them stupid is really the stupid one, don’t be afraid to stand up and say that you made a choice and it was right for you.  Be proud of your choices.  You made them for a reason right!?

For many moms, there comes a time when when choosing a day care is part of the parenting process.  Whatever the reason, it is not an easy decision.  It can be a very stressful time because you are choosing the place where your sweet child will spend the better part of many days.  As a former infant/toddler, twos, and preschool teacher, I have found myself giving friends and family advice when they are on their quest to find the best center for their child.  There are a few things I always stress when having this talk and I would like to share some of those things with you in this article.

One thing that shocks most new parents is the high sticker price for child care.  It is especially expensive for infants and toddlers.  It is tempting to shop around for the best price, but you may be making sacrifices that aren’t apparent when you choose a less expensive day care.  Centers that charge less have a smaller budget to run their business.  Since it is a business, after all, you will find that these facilities go to great lengths to cut costs in order to keep their business profitable.  This doesn’t mean that it is necessarily a bad place, but you will find that they are most likely striving to meet legal requirements and not much more.

For example, an infant/toddler ratio is four babies to one teacher/caregiver.  Two-year-old children have a legal ratio of one teacher to twelve students.  Depending on your experience with children, you may or may not realize that these legal requirements are quite a bare minimum.  Twelve two-year-olds are A LOT of two-year-olds! As are four infants to one caregiver.  I am not claiming it is an impossible situation, but when you consider the type of care and attention your child gets when they are one-on-one with mom and dad,  they are definitely going to get less personalized care when the ratio goes up.

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Once children reach the age of comprehension, which could be as young as five for some, it is a good idea to start teaching them important and valuable lessons about home security. It is necessary to teach your children about home security at a young age so that it sticks with them as they get older and ultimately until they are adults living in their own home. There are many ways to teach your children important lessons on home security and safety.

Practice Learning Emergency Numbers

Once your children get to the age where they can recognize and remember numbers, you will want to teach them to call 9-1-1 if there is ever an emergency situation going on. You can explain to your children that calling 9-1-1 in the event of an emergency can save lives. Let your children know that whenever they feel scared or uncomfortable in a situation, whether it is someone breaking into the home, a fire, or any other serious emergency, that they should dial this number.

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Maybe you have been trying to get pregnant for some time, maybe your pregnancy is as much a shock to you as anyone else. Either way, once you read those results on that pregnancy test, there are many things to consider. These things can start to feel overwhelming rather quickly, especially with all those baby hormones coursing through your veins!

Before you settle on a name and a nursery theme, you are going to have to get down to the business of choosing the hospital you want to deliver in and the OB/GYN you want delivering your baby. If you are already covered by medical insurance, there are a few ways to go about doing this. You can ask around amongst your girlfriends and see if anyone has an outstanding recommendation, you can call your doctor’s office and ask for a referral, or you can call the hospital in which you want to deliver and ask them for referral.

Choosing the right OB/GYN is important because ideally, this will be the person who is there during the most critical time of childbirth, when the baby actually makes his way into the world. However, your OB/GYN is sort of like the secret weapon of delivery. They are not there with you for the long haul that birthing can be, instead they bust on the scene in the last minutes of the birthing process to bring the baby out of your body. Therefore, it is very important to choose the right hospital as well.

Make sure you are comfortable with the hospital you choose. If you have your heart set on actively participating in the process, make sure you choose a hospital that caters to those needs with the appropriate amenities, like offering exercise balls or squatting bars on their beds for ease of repositioning during labor. Take the tour of the hospital and delivery unit at least a few months before your due date to get a feel for the place and the attitude of the staff.

I had no idea what an integral part our nurses would play in the delivery of our son. Looking back on the entire experience, I know how lucky I was to have some of the best care possible provided by a few key members of the delivery nursing staff. Like I said, the OB/GYN is not there the entire time. Your doctor may come in for updates along the way, but mostly, you are reliant upon the expertise of your nurse so this is another important part of choosing your hospital.

Since there is nearly no way of knowing exactly how your labor and delivery will go, it is of great importance that you make your birthing plan as a guideline for your experience. Do not be so caught up in your plan that you ignore any risks that arise, but do know what you want and what you expect out of your experience. This will help you make choices as your labor progresses. Share this plan with your doctor, see how they react, their reaction will help you determine if this is the coach you want with you on your big day.

These are merely a few examples of the choices and decisions you have ahead of you but they are some of the most important because they lay the foundation for your entire pregnancy. You have to feel comfortable with your doctor so you can ask those questions that make you feel silly to ask. If you aren’t comfortable posing a question, consider how awkward it will be when your feet are in the air and there is a baby making his way down your birth canal!

This is one of the most special times in your life. A little preparation is sure to go a long way so take these tasks seriously or you may have regrets. I guarantee you will want to look back on your delivery fondly, after all, it marks the day that your angel made his way from your belly to your arms. To ensure that you have the best experience possible, don’t stop asking questions, don’t settle for anything you aren’t comfortable with, and speak your mind no matter what. Even when you feel weak, remember, you are being strong for two!

I was at the park with my kids last week, when I stopped for a moment, I took a look at each of my children. My two-year old was climbing the rock wall, and my five-year old was playing quietly in the sand. It was at that moment, that I realized how different, yet, alike my children are.

My first born is now five. She was a very quite baby, I could hold her and rock her all night long. She loved to cuddle, she was always so happy and content. She ate extremely well. Even at a very young age she always liked her vegetables.

I remember people asking us, “Are you getting much sleep at night?” Joking of course, because usually parents don’t get a lot of sleep with a newborn. Ironically, we would say, “Yes we are…a full eight hours” She slept like a baby through the night.

As first time parents, we were in heaven. We thought that if this is what having kids was like, we got this in the bag. Fast forward five years, and she is now in Kindergarten, extremely independent, very competitive, excels in all her courses with school, and yet she still loves her quite time to read, play with her ponies, and even puts herself down for a nap.

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