When Do You Tell People You Are Pregnant?
posted by Amanda on July 27th, 2008
After I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago my husband and I had to decide when to tell people we are pregnant with our second. With the first baby we immediately told our family and a few close friends who knew we were trying. My mother-in-law’s Baby Radar is off the charts and we wanted to tell her before she figured it out herself. I waited to tell my job and the rest of the world until after my first appointment at the doctor’s office.
This time around we decided to birth at the San Antonio Birthing Center and my first appointment isn’t until I am 10 - 12 weeks along. We just can’t wait that long for confirmation before we tell everyone. Also, with me getting sick so early it is kind of hard to hide. So we told the world last week.
I know some people enjoy having a secret or choose to keep it a secret until they have more confirmation than a pee stick that everything is okay. I have never been through the loss of a pregnancy. I wouldn’t know if I would want the support of my friends if something horrible happens or if I would hate having to tell people over and over again what happened. I think this is one of the main reasons people wait to tell the world. Everyone’s situation is so different based on their previous experiences and the way they handle grief.
It all comes down to the time that you feel comfortable telling everyone. Also, as friends and family we she should never be insulted or upset when we hear that someone else is pregnant and has been for a long time. When someone chooses to tell you is completely up to them.
My husband and I aren’t the kind of people that can keep exciting news to ourselves. Two months ago I told a few friends that I thought I was pregnant only to get a full blown period a few days later and sending out a sheepish email saying I wasn’t after all. (I really think that when you get off the pill your hormones go all wacky.) I would definitely wait until you see the double pink lines before you tell people that you think you are pregnant.
When did you tell people you were pregnant? Was anyone ever insulted that you told them later in your pregnancy?Â
Additional Resources:
BabyCenter: When should I tell family members that I’m pregnant?
Mothering: When to tell people that you are pregnant?
The Poop: When should you tell people you’re pregnant?
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July 27th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
First one, I waited about two months, second one, right away!
I’ve never been one to keep my mouth shut.
July 27th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I waited the customary first semester with both pregnancies.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:57 am
Congratulations!
My closest friend knew before my husband (how terrible is THAT!), she was there when the stick turned positive to screech, clap and hug me WAY too tight! My mom and sister found out two months later and the rest of the world knew by the time we were 3-4 months along.
Keeping our pregnancy a secret was by far the hardest thing E.V.E.R.!!!
July 28th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I am so happy for all three of you.
With our first we found out and waited about a week for it to sink in. We were not trying. But we tired to call all parents from all sides and no one would answer the phone. So the first to find out was a very good friend.
July 28th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Both times we spilled the beans immediately! Good news is hard not to share, and people would wonder about the goofy glowy expression on our faces before long…
July 28th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Congratulations!
I just can’t keep a secret to save my life (about myself anyway). We told almost everyone we were pregnant right away. I managed to wait until I was 12 weeks along before I told people at work (but only because my doctor suggested it).
July 28th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I told everyone the day I found out! I can’t keep a secret either. I know a lot of women wait until 12 weeks to tell their employer and others out of concern for a miscarriage.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
We told everyone right away with my first and second. My second ended in a miscarriage and I think we waited almost the full first trimester the next time around to tell everyone. A select few were in on our news. If we have another biological child, we will probably be waiting a long time to tell anyone. I could see myself not telling anyone until I’m showing! My pregnancies were so public before, and I would like to go through a pregnancy where it’s calm and quiet and a little more private.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:35 am
W/our 1st child, we told people as soon as the morning sickness kicked in which was only a few days after we found out the news ourselves.
We wanted to wait until I was out of my 1st trimester with our 2nd child, but my husband’s grandmother had a dream the week we conceived that I was pregnant with a girl. When we found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later we spilled the beans.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:02 am
My husband and I will be trying to get pregnant with our first in the next month and are beginning to talk through some ideas to get on the same page before the chaos begins. When we get pregnant I would love to tell our families and wait to tell the rest of the world, but his mother has such a big mouth that it just wouldn’t be a secret from everyone else for long? My husband is all for telling, but I’m hesitant. Since we can’t really meet half way here, how do we reconcile?
July 29th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
We told right away. I was really sick with both of them anyway so I’m sure it was easy to guess!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
McKenna, I had a similar situation; i miscarried between my first and second. It was sooooo hard to tell everyone what happened, because we had told all of our family members (and a few friends) a week after we took the test. For me, it was more difficult (emotionally) to deal with that than the actual miscarriage. So when we got pregnant with my daughter, we waited until the end of the first trimester before we said anything. I think that, if we have another one, we’ll probably wait a while like we did with her.
October 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
with the 1st, we had only told a few people & then lost a day or two later. It was sad communicating it to others but on the other hand I was really grateful for the emotional support.
within a month we were preggo again & told everyone right away & our son was born just fine.
now, we are trying to have a 2nd baby & since i’ve been through a miscarriage I’m hestitant now to share right away, but that’s just who I am. i can’t keep secrets! not ones i’m soooo excited about!
I’m actually really torn, if we did have another miscarriage I would HATE to go through that alone. I’d probably wind up telling my mom/my mother’n'law, best friends, etc. anyways. I can’t hide when I stub my toe, let alone the grief of losing a child.
So, i think i’m landing on just sharing with everyone at 3-4weeks & if I miscarry I communicate it and allow others into our pain.
November 20th, 2008 at 6:13 am
I am 3 weeks now and I have told everyone. I can’t keep a secret to save my life either. I took 4 home pregnancy tests. They were all positive and I got confirmation with a blood test at a urgent care center. This is our first child together and we are really excited. We just got married 5 months ago. That was our only concern with telling people.(so soon after getting married). Oh well. Congrats to everyone.