The Mom Crowd

Several of my friends have been discussing with me how they are tightening up their monthly budgets.  We have been doing the same in our house.  We live in a pretty small house for having three children and I am happily trying to spend less money so we can move into a little larger home hopefully soon after the first of the year!  One area of our family’s budget which we have a lot of control over is our grocery bill.  We include diapers, toiletries, and cleaning items in our grocery bill and have budgeted about $500 a month on grocery items.  While that is not very much money for a family of five, with one on Pediasure, it’s a very doable number for our family.  However, I am trying to get that number even lower!

For the last two months, I have come in at $430 and $450 on our grocery bill-saving $80 and $50 dollars those months, which I think is great!  Both of those months, we had some unexpected expenses come up, so it was nice to have the cash already saved to spend on those unexpected expenses.  Here are some ways I’m lowering my grocery bill:

• Buy more generic.

I’ve always been a generic shopper, but there are some brand name items I prefer over generic.  On those items (like tomatoes, for instance), I’m halfing Hunts with generic and am not noticing the difference in the taste of my spaghetti sauce!

• Cook less meat.

There are a lot of great meals that do not require expensive beef and chicken.  For example, instead of taco night, I’m making bean and cheese chalupas.  We also ate a lot of chicken and rice and I have been replacing those meals with rice, bean, and vegetable varieties.  We still eat meat, but we’re just eating less of it.

• Try not to throw anything out.

I will typically buy fruits and vegetables and let them go bad in my refrigerator.  I am trying not to let that happen as often.

• Plan meals and shopping trips.

This is probably the hardest step for me, but it really makes a difference.  My grocery shopping time is Sunday nights now and I try to get everything I need for the entire week that night.  I find that I spend too much money on things we don’t need during my quick trips for milk or bread.  By eliminating those quick trips, I’m spending a lot less money!  I also have found that I spend less money when I don’t have the kids with me.

• Compare prices.

Bagged beans are way cheaper than canned beans and while they require a little more work, the little savings here and there make significant dents in your grocery bill.  Our grocery store has the price per ounce on the price sticker.  That is a very convenient tool to use when shopping.  Since some brands will package their items in different quantities, you can use this part of the price sticker to know if you are really saving any money by buying a little more bulkier of an item or a different brand.

These are just a few things that have helped me in my quest to lower my grocery bill.

Are you a coupon shopper?  What are some tricks/tips you have to save money on groceries?  How much does your family budget or spend each month on groceries?

Now that I have 2 children 22 months apart I have been pining for a double stroller. I have tried to get by without one for as long as I can with various strategies. One way is putting my 3-month-old son in a Baby Bjorn while pushing my 2-year-old girl in our huge Graco stroller or in an umbrella stroller. Another way is pushing my baby in his car seat on a travel frame stroller and chasing my daughter. Going out has been difficult! We had 3 different strollers in my car: 1 small umbrella stroller, the huge Graco travel system stroller, and the travel frame. I wanted to only have 1 stroller to fit my needs. I decided that it was time to put some cash down on a double stroller.

There are so many factors to consider before buying a double stroller. No double stroller is perfect. You just have to pick one that is closest to your needs.

New or Used?

Buying a used double stroller can be a great deal if you can find one that is in pristine condition. I had three friends tell me that they had bought used double strollers and found that the wheels stuck and didn’t ride smooth. I also searched Craigslist every day and even placed a “Want to Buy” ad, but never found what I was looking for. I could have bought a nice used one from Ebay, but we are going on a trip and I didn’t want to wait for it to be shipped.

A new double stroller is clean and has new wheels. I plan to use my stroller for a very long time, so I felt like I would get my money’s worth with a new one.

Side-by-side or Tandem?

My friend, McKenna, has used both a tandem and a side-by-side. She said that the child in back of the tandem couldn’t see and didn’t like sitting back there. Although, it was nice and compact. A side-by-side allows both children to see and be next to each other. I know that my daughter loves being next to her brother, so I felt like she would love it more than a tandem.

Jogging Style or Umbrella Style?

This is just a matter of preference. Where are you going to use it more? A jogging stroller is great for running, parks, the zoo, and amusement parks. Jogging strollers can also take up a lot of room in the truck and be heavy. An umbrella style is great for shopping and doctor office visits, but can also be used at parks and amusement parks. I didn’t want a huge jogging stroller and felt like I would get more use out of the umbrella style. I like the lightweight compactness of the umbrella style.

A Checklist to Consider When Shopping for Double Strollers

• How easy it can break down and set up
• The weight of the entire unit
• The room it will take up in your trunk
• The maximum weight the stroller can carry
• Storage pockets
• The number of sitting positions
• Durability. Does it have a good reputation for lasting a long time?
• Price

3 Strollers That I Considered Purchasing

Peg Perego Aria Twin Stroller – $339

A mom of two sets of twins in the store told me that she had used this stroller. The wheels got stuck often. Also the plastic piece that opens the stroller had broken off on a tarmac and airport staff had to find it. The sales guy at Babies R Us also immediately said that this was a horrible stroller, because it is made of cheap plastic and was not worth its expensive price tag.

Maclaren Twin Triumph Stroller – $265

The Mac Daddy of aluminum double strollers, this pricey double stroller is incredibly durable. It also has the smoothest ride of all umbrella double strollers. The 5-point harness is easy to snap together. Also the straps are made of a soft material  which is nice when rubbing against skin. The bottom strap is thin and while it held my 3 month old fine, it didn’t look very secure. The maximum weight is 110 lbs which means it could last a very long time as your children grow. The pockets in back are also nice, because they have a velcro lid to secure the contents in the pockets. One friend complained that it isn’t easy to set up, but you can get used to it. Also, I think you have to use your foot to pull up on a pedal to break it down, which may hurt your feet if you wear flip flops often. The sleek, simple design is nice.

Chicco Trevi Twin – $229

This stroller weighs 24 pounds (the weight of my toddler) and is easy to set up and break down. To break down you have to step down on a pedal and pull up two handles. The downside is that it only clicks together on one side when folded, so the other side hangs open a bit. This isn’t really a big deal, because the handle to carry it is on the side that clicks together. This stroller also has 4 adjustable positions. I liked that the bottom strap of the 5-point harness is very wide securing in a little baby. It also comes with a boot that folds out to give further security to holding a newborn. The shade doesn’t cover much. The pockets underneath and in the back are adequate. Also, the ride is smooth enough. It is quite comparable to the MacLaren Twin Triumph.

We ended up getting the Chicco Trevi Twin, because it was marked down to $169 from $229. We couldn’t justify spending almost $100 more on the MacLaren. We immediately used this stroller after purchasing it this weekend at an outdoor mall and got many looks and a compliment. It is so convenient to have them in one stroller! A bonus is that my husband likes to push it, because the handles are wide apart and they are comfortable for his broad shoulders and his height.  I am in love with my new double stroller.

Do you have a double stroller? Which one? Do you like it? What did you consider when purchasing a double stroller?

Please welcome our newest contributing author, Christy, to The Mom Crowd! I am super excited to hear her stories and insights into parenting. I have not seen Christy in person in 11 years. We became friends on Facebook and quickly became Facebook BFFs while commiserating about our kiddos. She did a guest post in March titled, “7 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Type 1 (Juvenile) Diabetes.”

Here is Christy’s story:

I am a mom to two “medical marvels”, Andrew (4) and Catherine (18 months).  Told as a teenager that I would probably never have children, I never gave up the desire to be a mom.  Even after miscarriages and infertility issues, I was blessed with my beautiful babies!  My pregnancy with Andrew was incredibly difficult due to hyperemesis (excessive… and I do mean excessive vomiting) during my entire pregnancy and he was born by emergency c-section.  Crazy thing, I loved every minute of that pregnancy!  I was blessed to breastfed Andrew for 15 months and fell in love with that part of motherhood.  My pregnancy with Catherine was relatively normal compared to Andrew’s and she too was born by c-section and I breastfed her for 18 blissful months.  My favorite thing about being a mom has to be the reward of hugs and kisses!  I live for them!
In my free time, I enjoy reading, writing, going on play dates and most recently getting involved in my new church.   My days are full of refereeing, playing and managing Andrew’s diabetes.  I am truly blessed to have the life I have and love to share my experiences with others.

A big wide-open-arms welcome to you Christy! You can read her articles here on TMC every Wednesday.

In Other News…

Did you know that Dawn and I have started a fan blog for the show, So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD)? If you watch SYTYCD, please come share your thoughts over at SYTYCD The Blog. If you are a fan of the show, then there was a surprise this week and we’d love to hear what you thought of this week’s eliminations.

Finally…

Have a wonderful Father’s Day weekend honoring all the dads in our lives!

It is a parent’s worst nightmare. I packed up my just turned 2 year old daughter and 3 month old baby boy last week to go on a play date with other moms and their children at a pool. The neighborhood pool had a baby pool that was 1 to 1.5 feet deep. My baby boy was asleep in his car seat and I was tending to my daughter in the baby pool. She was loving it and having a great time. I felt my face burning and realized that I hadn’t put sunscreen on my face. My daughter seemed fine with the other kids and there were 2 moms sitting on the edge with their feet in the pool. I got out to put sunscreen on my face.

As I was applying the lotion I looked up and saw my daughter floundering horizontally in the water. She had fallen over and couldn’t stand up to get air. I yelled “Annabelle!” and immediately ran into the water. In that split second I saw her little body trying to turn over and get her face above the water. You could see the instinct to survive in that little action. I immediately swooped her up in my arms and pat her back. I don’t think I took a breath until I heard her breathe. Thankfully, she didn’t require CPR and I had caught her in time. Of course, it is hard to stop your mind from wondering what would have happened had she didn’t make it. I know she is the Lord’s and He can take her whenever He wants, but I realized how much I loved her and would miss her if something happened to her.

Needless to say, we were a little shaken up. She was afraid to go back in the water for a little while after that. I felt like if I didn’t take her back in the pool that day, then she might stay afraid of pools. We slowly worked from the seat to the middle of the pool. I don’t think I let my eye (or even a hand) go off of her after that.

This incident reminded me that she can’t swim. Also, maybe I can’t handle going to the pool with both kids by myself, even with other moms around. At least for my own sanity I am going to keep pool visits this Summer without my husband to a minimum. I am planning to stick more with our backyard blow up pool. There are some safety precautions I could have taken first:

1. Don’t over estimate my toddler’s physical ability. I forget how much my little girl can’t do. She just learned how to jump up and down when she turned 2. I am thankful for things she can do, but I need to remember that she just doesn’t have the physical ability to do some things.

2. Wear floaties or a life vest. I have now realized why floaties are important! When we to the beach we borrowed a swimsuit that had a life vest inside the body suit. She looked a little silly, but I didn’t care. I love her enough to save her life!

3. Consider the depth of the water in the pool. The water in the baby pool came up to my daughter’s stomach and chest. My plan is to keep her in more shallow water when she is on her own in the future. We will go in deeper water too, but only when holding on to her.

4. Know CPR or at least refresh yourself. I have an idea of what to do if I need to do, but I am not sure if I really know it in case of an emergency. McKenna wrote a really good post about learning CPR here.

5. Teach my child how to float on her back. I hadn’t even thought of teaching Annabelle how to float yet, but I would like to begin working on it with her now. Here is a good video about how to teach your kid to float. It is practical and easy to follow.

I think my story may be common. Have you had a similar experience? Do you have any reservations about taking your toddler to a pool? Have you taught your toddler how to float?

Recently we were contacted by a reader who is in a difficult situation with her shy daughter.  This mom said:

I have a 7 year old girl who is very shy, and she has made a friend this year who is very mean to her.  I try and discourage her from playing with this child, but she says she has no other friends to play with.  This other child is in my Brownie troop, and I have seen the mean behavior.  I have talked to the child but it does no good; she make excuses for why she is mean.  For example:   my daughter ran up to this child to say hello, the child ran away and said “I don’t want to play with you, give me my space.”  I told my daughter to give her her space.  The mother called a couple days later and asked to have my daughter over to play.  When she brought my daughter home she told me how the children were fighting the whole time.  Come to find out, she (the little girl)  was not being nice to my child.  She asked to call me to pick her up, but instead the mother took them out for ice cream…  This can go on and on how this child one day is somewhat nice and the other, downright cruel.  Every day my daughter comes home upset and sad.  I have now refused to have the child play with mine, and my daughter is upset that she cannot play with her.  How to I deal with my child’s feelings altogether???  I wish she was not as shy as she is.   How can I help her?

Oh, this is a toughie.  It is always hard for a parent to see their child(ren) suffer in social situations.  Having taught middle school for several years, I recall seeing unhealthy relational dynamics take their toll on young people time and time again.  I don’t know that I have the solution – but I do have opinions.  Here we go:

• The mean girl, whom I’ll call Dena, seems to enjoy the power trip that having a shy friend gives her.  It appears that she has taken that power too far on a regular basis by lashing out at your daughter, whom I’ll call Sally.  Dena might have a tough time keeping friends, and Sally’s dependence on her gives her more control.  Dena and Sally have an unhealthy friendship.
• If Sally is as shy as you have indicated, she probably hasn’t had that much experience with different friendships.  Friendships come in all shapes and sizes, but they are all usually founded on a mutual respect and enjoyment of the other person.
• It is possible Sally does not want to admit that Dena is a bad friend.  She might be so desperate to keep her for a friend that she’s willing to sacrifice her happiness on a daily basis just to keep this friendship alive.  Does Sally realize that she could do better?
• Shy people tend to keep their true feelings to themselves.  Sally’s submissive nature probably doesn’t help her stand up for herself.  She might even be drawn to Dena’s personality because Dena makes doing things easier: someone is calling the shots for her.  This happens in a lot of relationships: there are leaders, and there are followers.

If I was Sally’s mother, I’d do exactly what you did, and stop having the two play together.  It would be hard at first, but Sally will eventually get over it and find somone else to bond with.  If you are providing enough opportunities for Sally to make new friendships, she should be able to make a new buddy with a little effort.  This is the time of year when Vacation Bible Schools abound in most cities, where children are grouped by grade level and spend five days together doing the same activities.  If that is not a possibility, I would recommend playgroups, clubs, story times, swimming lessons, or anything else that would allow Sally to spend time with other children her age.  As for the Brownie meetings, I’d work to keep the two girls separated as much as possible without drawing too much attention to it.

This is a teachable time for you and Sally.  It is a good opportunity for you to remind her what kinds of qualities we need in a good friend – and that even though she deals with a little initial shyness, she can still choose to spend time with kind children.  Befriending a bully just because one is available is not Sally’s only option.  It is important for your daughter to wrap her head around this idea now, so her future friendships will be healthier.

Next week, I will post about shyness in general, what it is (and isn’t), and how we can help our shy children thrive in social situations.

Hey, Mom Crowd!  Do you have any other input or advice for Sally’s mom?  How do you handle it when your child is routinely upset by his/her friends?