The Mom Crowd

Should you keep your child in a rear facing car seat past the minimum requirement? The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that “children should face the rear of the vehicle until they are at least 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 lb to decrease the risk of cervical spine injury in the event of a crash.”

Last month the British Medical Journal published an article stating that  “rear facing seats are safer than forward facing seats for children under 4 years old.” So parents should keep young children in rear facing seats as long as possible. The report goes on to say that “excessive stretching or even transection of the spinal cord can result if a child is involved in a head-on crash while in a forward facing car seat.”

Car-safety.org explains that “rear-facing car seats spread frontal crash forces over the whole area of a child’s back, head and neck; they also prevent the head from snapping relative to the body in a frontal crash.”

In an article for ABC News Sharon Munns, injury prevention coordinator at the Mayo Clinic Trauma Center in Rochester, Minn. explains the benefits in more detail,  “The rear harness works in a way that allows the head, neck, and spine to move all straight up and down, so the body moves with the restraint of the seat, preventing crash-related injuries,” she said. “In a front-facing seating, all of the body weight is going forward on the harness, which can cause injury to the head, neck and spine for children under 35 pounds. There are documents of spinal cord injuries because of children facing frontward at such an early age.”

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Sponsor Saturdays is a new feature on The Mom Crowd. Each Saturday we will be highlighting one of our six sponsors.

*Keep reading all the way to the end to find out how you can win a free soy candle!

Maddison Avenue Soy Candles is owned by Jeanette Combs. I first got to know Jeanette through my husband when he built her website. She is one of the nicest and most generous people I have ever met on the web, so I wanted to do a Q & A with her about who she is and her company. I have several Maddison Avenue candles in my home and I love the way they smell and look.

Amanda: Why did you choose to sell soy candles and how long have you been selling candles?
Jeanette: It started as a hobby in 2003.  My husband has bad allergies and asthma which never allowed me to burn candles.  Because paraffin candles contained toxins and carcinogens, it affected his breathing.  I had come across some research telling that soy candles were clean burning and if you previously had breathing difficulties with paraffin candles, to give soy a try.  I wanted to do just that but found they were very hard to find.  So, I bought all of the ingredients and made them myself.  After my friends and family found out the benefits of soy wax, they were hooked and started buying from me.  And the business grew from there!  Maddison Avenue soy candles can now be found in every state and abroad.

A: I know your company is based in Illinois where there is a lot of farm land. Does your company grow your own soy beans?
J: No, but our factory is surrounded by soybean fields.  We are thrilled to watch them grow each year knowing we are helping to support the American farmers.

A: What are the benefits of burning soy candles, instead of other candles you can find at the store?
J: Most of this was answered in the first question.  The benefits of soy wax is unbelievable!

• made from 100% soybean wax
• does not emit toxins while burning
• emits an incredibly small amount of soot
• biodegradable
• water-soluble
• burns cooler and slower
• renewable resource
• supports US farmers and our own economic growth

A: How do you choose the fragrances?
J: Most are from requests from customers, but some we put together by trial and error.  It’s a fun process.

A: What is your favorite scent?
J: It changes with the season.  Right now I love summer scents (beach house, pomegranate passion, and meadow), in the fall it changes (spiced cranberry, pumpkin crunch, and orange clove).  I always burn one of these in my bathroom (que, tuxedo, or lavender fields).

A: Have you ever sold a scent that you thought would be popular, but it didn’t do well? Is there a scent that you thought would make a good candle, but it ended up smelling horribly?
J: I was certain that Chocolate Kisses would rock, but in fact it barely sells.   As for a horrible fragrance – that is the funny thing with our noses.  What smells wonderful to one is aweful to another.  For example, I took Gardenia Blossoms off the site because I thought it was horrible and didn’t like being in the factory on the days they poured that aroma.  Then I was contacted by a client wanting to know why she couldn’t buy it any more as all of hers had been bought by Richard Gere’s publicist.  She said it was his favorite candle and he used it while meditating.  Obviously, we brought it back and it has remained a great seller!!  Just a note… I still don’t like it, yuck 🙂

A: If your business didn’t sell soy candles, what else would you like to do for a living?
J: I used to want to write.  I wrote and published our church newsletter for years.  Writing is a lot of work though.  I would like to learn how to use Adobe Illistrator like a pro and then do some designing for cards, and such.  I love creative people and love learning to be more creative myself.

A: I know you are a mom and a grandma. What advice would you give a new mom?
J: Easy.  Relax and keep it simple.  Enjoy the small things.  I was always told that my kids would grow up fast, and that was such an understatement!  I am much more relaxed with my grand daughters, and I have finally learned how to enjoy even the small things, like being there to kiss a skinned knee. I wish I had worried less and enjoyed more with my own kids.

A: What is your favorite quote?
J: Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

***WIN A FREE CANDLE!***

Jeanette has generously offered to giveaway a soy candle to 2 winners! All you have to do to enter is go to Maddison Avenue’s website, pick your favorite fragrance, and come back here and write in the comments of this post which is your favorite fragrance! Winners will be chosen at random and announced next Saturday morning on the 25th. Good luck!

UPDATE

This giveaway is now closed and we have 2 winners, Erika and Denise!  The winners were chosen by random.org. Thank you so much to everyone who entered.

“Mommy, can you try to be more patient?”

My 3-year-old daughter said this last night.  Several things ran through my mind at that moment:

1. Wow, she knows what patience is and how to use that word in context!  She’s a genius!
2. I guess I’m really failing at my parenting role at the moment.
3. Wait a minute, haven’t I been pretty darn patient this week??

My husband has been out of town since Sunday morning, and he comes home tomorrow night.  Seven straight days of solo 24/7 care of my kids.  (He was gone for a week in June, too, so I’m feeling pretty worn down.)   I know for many of you moms out there, this is how your life looks, too.  Our spouses have to leave for periods of time for a variety of reasons.  I’m sure we all have ways of coping with our tremendous parenting responsibilities on our own.

Here’s how I’ve survived this week (having been… “mostly” patient):

• I made lots of plans with friends.  Lunches out, dinners in, swimming dates, what have you.  I’ve been loading and unloading my kids from the car several times a day.
• I registered my older child for Vacation Bible School for the week.  Not only did this give her something special to do each day, it lightened my morning load so I only had to care for one child.
• I updated my facebook status about fifty times a day to vent or brag, whichever need was stronger. 🙂
• I watched a stack of chick flicks.
• I managed to get in my running routine, getting creative with scheduling & childcare.
• I said no when I needed to say no.  I was going to go to a potluck dinner on Monday night until my kids started their evening meltdown.  I opted to stay in and put them to bed early.  Good call.
• I hardly did any chores around the house.  The sheets will get changed, the clothes will get washed, and the floors will get swept next week. 
• I ate ice cream right out of the carton.

Meanwhile, my kids decided to test my disputed patience level with endless fighting, tantrums (thanks, new 2-year-old!), screaming that made my ears bleed, repeated and annoying questions, and refusals to eat more than half of each meal.

When Lucy asked me to be more patient, I had just finished yelling about how they weren’t cleaning up their toys.  (Yep, that old chestnut.)  By the end of Day Five, that kind of seemed allowable.  I mean seriously.  I can’t be supermom all the time!  I did calmly try to explain to her that I have been patient most of the time, and that should count for something!  Of course, all she heard was “Blah blah blah, blah BLAH, blah BLAH,” to which she responded, “NOW will you read the book to me?”

Alas.  We’re alive, we’re well, and we’re happy, for the most part.  Have a great weekend, Mom Crowd!

photo courtesy dieselbug2007

What do you do if your child comes to you and wants _____ that you think are too expensive?

In our case that is shoes.  Our 5 year old saw a commercial for a brand of shoes and was convinced that the shoes would help him run faster.  He has recently grown out of his old shoes and does need new ones.  When I looked up how much the shoes he wants are I thought, “No way am I paying for those!”  At first I wanted to tell him that we were not getting those shoes because they are too expensive.  I knew that answer wouldn’t really make a lot of sense to him and would probably make him angry.   My husband reminded me that it could be a good life lesson and that we should think about approaching it from a different angle.

My husband asked me how much I would normally spend on shoes for the boys.  I told him and we came up with a strategy to help the 5 year old learn about managing money.  We also wanted to guide him and help him make a decision that he could be happy with.

We looked online with the 5 year old at the shoes he wants.  We did tell him that the shoes cost more than we want to spend on the shoes but that he did have some options. We told him that we would pay for a certain amount of the shoes and that he would have to come up with the rest of the money. We asked him if he would like to know what other kids do when they want something that costs more than they have.  He said, “Sure!”

We said that some kids:

• save up their birthday money and use it to buy something they want
• ask their parents, grandparents, neighbors if they have extra jobs they can pay him for
• choose to buy something less expensive that is within their budget
• wait for it to go on sale

He thought about it and he either wants to save some of his birthday money or do extra jobs to make up the difference.  As soon as he can pay up then we will happily take him out shopping.  We feel good that he is learning about how to live within a budget and work hard for the extra things he wants.  We shared that we have to make those same decisions when we want to buy things that are cost more than we have in our budget.  We feel like it is a real world learning opportunity for him–he’ll have to make lots of similar decisions about money as he grows up.

We look forward to using this strategy more as these situations come up more often in the future. I think he’ll feel good about participating in buying something that he wants.  If he figures out that those shoes won’t actually make him run faster then he’ll also learn another good life lesson.

How do you handle it when your kids want something that you think is too expensive?  What do you tell your kids?

**photo courtesy of   flickr’s plasticrevolver

My husband recently got laid off from his job due to the recession and has been home full time for about two weeks.  As negative as his job loss may seem, it’s been a blessing to me at this point in time.  I have been dealing with some health problems that have kept me in bed and unable to do my daily activities, including chasing after our two kids.  I have been blessed that my husband has been stepping up to the plate in a big way, even more than usual.  It got me to thinking about how much I underappreciate him on a regular basis.

Often times I get into the mindset of “I do so much around here and no one seems to appreciate it” and I forget about all that my husband does without expecting my praise or any reward.  Even before he was laid off, he spent a ton of time with the kids and did baths everynight.  He always takes out the trash and brings in the heavy things from the car after big shopping trips.  Little things like those go unappreciated so often that I have begun to take him for granted.  I have come up with a few ideas of ways I can show my appreciation for him and thought I’d share.  (Of course, being the ever loving and supportive husband he is, he will probably read this before you all do and will know the little acts of kindness before they are done!)

• Write him a little note telling him how much I love him and leave it in his car (I do this every now and then when I can sneak out to the car without him knowing)
• Give him an unprompted back rub
• Make his favorite dinner without asking him beforehand what he wants to eat that night 
• Do the kids’ bath one night to give him a break
• Brag about him to my friends
• Make him his favorite cookies and not eat any myself

I think the best thing I can do to show him my true appreciation for all that he is and does is just to tell him and stop complaining when I don’t feel appreciated.  I think he’ll like the last one best of all!

What kinds of little things do you do for your husband when you want to show him your appreciation?  What are some ways you wish he would show you his appreciation for you?

Photo Courtesy of KayVee.INC