Book Review: ‘The Mom Factor’
If you have concerns with your mom or the mother figure in your life, then you need to read ‘The Mom Factor’ by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. These are also the same guys who wrote another excellent book ‘Boundaries.’ I really felt like I was sitting through a counseling session as I read through the book. The authors have years of counseling experience to draw from as they give relevant examples in each chapter. As a bonus there are nuggets of good parenting advice nestled in the chapters.
‘The Mom Factor’ presents six different types of mothers: The Phantom Mom; The China Doll; The Controlling Mom; The Trophy Mom; The Still the Boss Mom; and The American Express Mom. Each mother type and how that type has affected you as an adult is described in one chapter and the following chapter explains how readers can change the adverse affects in their lives today. There is also a section with each mother type that gives suggestions on how to deal with your mother today. The book is very well organized and easy to read.
Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend debunk the popular psychology theory of blaming your parents for your problems. They want to promote forgiveness and reconciliation in your relationship with your mother. In The Phantom Mom chapter they explain that for whatever reason the mother just wasn’t able to give their child the care and attention that they needed. We can’t blame our mother for what they didn’t have themselves to give in the first place.
I found freedom as I read through the chapters that I found relevant to my situation. I have expectations of what my mom should be like today. The book gave me permission to have those expectations met by other women in my life. Also, the suggestions on how to relate to my mother today really helped me.
I believe any son or daughter who has struggles or has questions about their relationship with their mother would benefit from reading this book. Even if they don’t read the entire book and just the chapters that relate to them they would find something useful to make their relationship better.
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The reading program I was working on with Darah is still in pilot mode and it was getting difficult to progress past the point we had made it to. I loved the program, but needed something that was a little more complete. I began a new reading program with Darah a few weeks ago. I wrote 
This program is geared toward the visual learner. Children with Down syndrome, autism, dyslexia, and an “overwhelming percentage of the population” are often visual learners. While many parents of children with special needs have embraced this program, they have a series for typical developing children as well. It does take some time to get it all set up, but once you set up the program you are good to go. I should be completely set for 178 days and then I will purchase Book 2. You can purchase the program with the flashcards preprinted. I saved a little money by writing them out myself. I keep the flashcards in order in a basket on my refrigerator and look at my daily schedule of what flashcards to present that day. I then show Darah the flashcards three times a day. As simplistic as it sounds, it works! By presenting these gigantic flashcards in groups of 5 over a cumulative 10 minutes a day, Darah has learned about 13 sight words! We are currently working on learning single words, but we will soon progress to learning to read sentences. The best part of this program is it has improved her speech! When she sees the flashcard with the word on it, she is articulating so much better than she did before. Her little voice is just way too cute when she says “pancake.” I am seeing results MUCH FASTER than with the other program we were doing. It requires much less energy and time on my part as well, and Darah seems to engage very well to this program.
