The Mom Crowd

Traveling a far distance with a toddler can be a daunting experience. After having taken my one year-old on several cross-country flights and a week-long road trip, I felt it would be nice to share some of our successes and failures in case there are any parents out there who are gearing up to bravely take their little ones on their first big trip.

As far as places to stay go, I can’t stress enough how much more convenient it is to find a hotel that either offers suites with a kitchenette, which is ideal, or a room that has a refrigerator. Your toddler is going to need somewhere for their milk and other perishable snacks and food. This is beyond difficult to deal with when you are limited to ice machines and coolers. Having experienced both options, I would gladly pay a few extra dollars for the luxury of the refrigerator amenity.

When it comes to flying, there are some things to consider. We have successfully maneuvered our baby boy through long flights and flights with layovers. There are benefits to both depending on what kind of kid you have. A flight with layover gives you the opportunity to stretch your legs and take a break from the plane atmosphere. A direct flight makes for a much shorter day of travel. While a layover can be a nice break, it can also make for a super long day because switching planes takes an hour at least.

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Consistency is key for most endeavors where children are concerned, bedtime is no exception. When it comes to getting your little one to sleep, you will want to make a routine that both of you will love and stick to every night. Although I can not guarantee this will make a seamless transition into slumber all the time, I can say that your child will be cozy in bed at roughly the same time every evening, which makes for a happier mommy and baby in the morning.

Every child is different, of course, but it is widely excepted that young children should be put to bed around seven and eight PM. This was a natural time for my baby boy to go to bed, in fact, putting him to bed any later usually gets me wrestling with a grumpy bear throughout our entire routine. Your routine can be anything that works for your family, but I would like to share what works for us.

We usually start to wind down around one hour before our boy needs to go to sleep. We cut out anything that is super stimulating like his noisy toys in an effort to get him somewhat calmed as we transition into his bedtime routine. Even though, by now, our son knows what to expect, we also talk him through the separate events in the routine. For example, we might tell him, “Now we will have dinner and then we will take a bath.” That way once we are done with dinner, there is no surprise about having to get in the bath.

If both of us are home during bedtime, one of us will prepare his bath and bed while our baby finishes his dinner, otherwise, we carry him along with us and as said before, we tell him what we are doing while we do it. After bath, we take baby to his changing table for a fresh diaper. We often time give him a little lotion massage before putting on his pajamas. We also use a noise machine to create a background sound that cancels out any noises that may be happening in our house or neighborhood, not everyone is in on our bedtime routine, so we have to make due.

Our son has favorite stories that we read nearly every night. As he has grown, we make reading more interactive by asking him to point out characters in the book or show us colors as we read. It is fun and an easy way to work on his vocabulary during these precious moments. Our boy also enjoys a small sippy cup of milk while we read and relax into bedtime.

Once the story is over, we turn down the lights and get into our cuddle positions. Our family has adopted a co-sleeping method. Our son shares a family bed with us. It might not be for everyone, but we enjoy this closeness. From here we hand deliver our little one to dreamland by laying with him until he drifts off. We sometimes sing or hum to him as he fights his last attempts to stay awake.

This routine takes about an hour start to finish and with any luck, he goes to sleep without any cranky fussing. On a good day, this is still my favorite time with him. I love to catch a look at his angelic face as he slips into sleep, it is just about the best feeling in the world.

We are homeschoolers.  We are also a family of five.  We also have a mommy that stays home.  That’s just a couple of the choices we have made.  Despite all of those being really great choices in my mind, sadly society on a whole judges us.  People wrinkle their brows and roll their eyes when they find out we homeschool.  They ask us why we wanted to have three kids when it is so expensive.  They ask me if I get bored working at home.

What I want to ask them is when did it become cool to judge other moms?  It is the single most horrible thing about being a mom when it comes to walking out of the house with your kids.  You are not only judged as a women (too fat, too thin, too mean, too flirty) you are now judged by the choices that you make as a mom.  Like I need another thing to worry about people.  I mean, I am trying to raise tiny humans for goodness sake.

I once met a really nice man who told me that “life is better when you embrace that there is unity in diversity.” Boy I wish that was a national motto in America and a few other places……………

In a world full of war, bullies and others who are trying to say that there view is the best and that you should think like them, saying that there is unity in the fact that we are all different is a big statement.  It is hard sometimes to understand why people feel so empowered to share their opinion but most of all I struggle with the fact that people seem to feel so empowered to share their opinion in front of my kids.

The other day I was talking to a lady who is new on the street.  She asked if my boys were sick.  This I assume was because it was 9:30am and my boys were outside, riding bikes and playing Nerf Guns and not at school.  I told her we homeschool and the boys had finished all of their work early today, so we decided to play for a while.  I got the usual one eyebrow up and the “wow you homeschool” look.

I told her that is was the most amazing experience and that she should not judge me for my choice because it was my choice.  She said she was not judging anyone but I told her “ya you kind of are.”  I had to call her out, I really felt like I had to stick up for my choice and my kid.

The thing was, my oldest was standing right there and wanted to know why that lady was acting like going to school at home was bad.  This prompted us to have to sit down and talk to him that going to school at home is not only just as good, if not better than going to school the way everyone else does and that her reaction was only because she didn’t understand that being different, well that being different is not a bad thing.

If we were all the same, then we would all be very limited in what we do, what we like and how we do these things.  It is because we are all different that we come together and learn from each other.  It’s a hard concept for kids to understand but sadly it is harder for adults to learn.  It is also sad that I cannot imagine not being judged by the other moms on the playground.  It is even more sad that I expect to see people roll their eyes when I say I homeschool.  We all know that being a mom means doing the work of like 40 by yourself so why do we not get the fact that it only makes it harder when we judge that other mom who is busting her booty to just get the kids to their play date?

When I became a mom the last thing in the world I wanted was to be judged.  Being a mom is hard enough and we all know that.  So why do we feel so obligated to judge other moms.  Can’t we just appreciate that they are just trying to make the best choices for their family?  Their family is not mine, so why would I want to pass judgement on them when I don’t know what it is like to be them?  I think it is possible but it is going to mean that we all put each other in check.  Moms need to mom up and when they have that other mom roll their eyes at them for having their 4 year old use a sippy cup, we need to say that we all make our own decisions and that’s okay.

So take the pledge a embrace your choices.  Just like you tell your kids that the kid that called them stupid is really the stupid one, don’t be afraid to stand up and say that you made a choice and it was right for you.  Be proud of your choices.  You made them for a reason right!?

For many moms, there comes a time when when choosing a day care is part of the parenting process.  Whatever the reason, it is not an easy decision.  It can be a very stressful time because you are choosing the place where your sweet child will spend the better part of many days.  As a former infant/toddler, twos, and preschool teacher, I have found myself giving friends and family advice when they are on their quest to find the best center for their child.  There are a few things I always stress when having this talk and I would like to share some of those things with you in this article.

One thing that shocks most new parents is the high sticker price for child care.  It is especially expensive for infants and toddlers.  It is tempting to shop around for the best price, but you may be making sacrifices that aren’t apparent when you choose a less expensive day care.  Centers that charge less have a smaller budget to run their business.  Since it is a business, after all, you will find that these facilities go to great lengths to cut costs in order to keep their business profitable.  This doesn’t mean that it is necessarily a bad place, but you will find that they are most likely striving to meet legal requirements and not much more.

For example, an infant/toddler ratio is four babies to one teacher/caregiver.  Two-year-old children have a legal ratio of one teacher to twelve students.  Depending on your experience with children, you may or may not realize that these legal requirements are quite a bare minimum.  Twelve two-year-olds are A LOT of two-year-olds! As are four infants to one caregiver.  I am not claiming it is an impossible situation, but when you consider the type of care and attention your child gets when they are one-on-one with mom and dad,  they are definitely going to get less personalized care when the ratio goes up.

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Once children reach the age of comprehension, which could be as young as five for some, it is a good idea to start teaching them important and valuable lessons about home security. It is necessary to teach your children about home security at a young age so that it sticks with them as they get older and ultimately until they are adults living in their own home. There are many ways to teach your children important lessons on home security and safety.

Practice Learning Emergency Numbers

Once your children get to the age where they can recognize and remember numbers, you will want to teach them to call 9-1-1 if there is ever an emergency situation going on. You can explain to your children that calling 9-1-1 in the event of an emergency can save lives. Let your children know that whenever they feel scared or uncomfortable in a situation, whether it is someone breaking into the home, a fire, or any other serious emergency, that they should dial this number.

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