The Mom Crowd

Two weeks ago I filmed a segment for ABC News show “Moms Get Real” with Juju Chang. The episode aired last week on ABC’s website. You can watch the show by clicking on the photo of it here on the right. In the show Juju Chang, Romi Lassally of truuconfessions.com, Anonymous Mom, and myself talk about Mommy Time.

The first question that Juju asked me was, “Was there a time that you realized that you needed mommy time?” I actually had 2 answers to this question. I told the producer on the phone that it is more of a day to day need. There are days when everything goes wrong. A day where the kids have misbehaved all day, have been whiny or very needy, or you just can’t figure out what they need. A day where you are just exhausted at the end of it. I also told the Producer that Summer has increased my need for Mommy Time, because I am with my kids 24/7. In the interview, I brought up a funny anecdote about how I had gotten blood, throw up, and poop on me in the span of 30 minutes (true story!) There are times when I just feel plain disgusting. Have you ever had a moment when you realized that you needed Mommy Time?

I don’t remember the next question that Juju asked me, because I was trying to remember to smile and not look like a doofus when they were talking. It was also difficult to pay attention, because I could only hear Juju and and Romi speaking through a static-y connection. I couldn’t see them. I totally freaked out when I realized that I hadn’t heard what Juju just said. I think she asked about why we need Mommy Time. I really believe we need Mommy Time because we pour ourselves out with all our heart, body, and soul all day long. We need some time to fill our cups, so we have something to pour out again. Our energy, patience, and compassion dries up and we need time to refill and rejuvenate ourselves. Why do you think we need Mommy Time?

Finally we discussed how we get Mommy Time. I feel very lucky that I am able to work out a schedule with my husband to find the time. Taking 2 to 3 hours by myself on a Sunday afternoon works for my family. My husband is completely off work and is able to watch the kids for me. I have tried to do every Monday night, but I found it hard to pull myself away from the house after a full day with the kids. I also needed time that wasn’t late at night, so I could be alert to work on my blog and do other fun things. I am not a morning a person at all. I have a friend that takes Saturday mornings off.

In the video they also mentioned a mom who confessed that she sat on the toilet for a break. I know I have sat down in the shower when I have felt overwhelmed. The important thing is that we take some Mommy Time to do whatever the heck we want without having to worry about our kids. How do you get Mommy Time?

Amelia recently wrote a blog post titled, How To Take Care Of Yourself (as the mom). The article has some good ideas to take care of yourself. iVillage published 31 Mommy-Time Ideas for Busy Moms which includes, chatting a with a friend as a way to relieve stress. There are many creative way to take Mommy Time.

Is Mommy Time realistic? Do you actually take time for yourself to do whatever you want? When was the last time you had a minute to yourself?

I woke up Saturday morning with a horrible cold, sore throat, aches, and the general feeling that I felt like crap. Why do I even have a cold? I thought cold and flu season was over! I am thankful that it happened on the weekend and my husband was able to help. We didn’t do much this weekend but hang out in our pajamas and watch movies while I rested.

Tomorrow is Monday and I can’t call in sick. My husband is a small business owner and when he doesn’t work we don’t get any money. I like money, so off to work he goes while I care for the kiddos. Tomorrow we are staying home while I continue to kick this cold. What are moms to do when they are sick?

My first concern is that I am nursing my little 3 month old boy and I am taking some Tylenol cold medicine. I read on Dr. Sears:

“Most drugs taken by the mother are of less concern while breastfeeding than if she were taking them during pregnancy. If a drug is safe to use during pregnancy, it is probably safe during lactation. There is more reason to be concerned about the effects of a drug on a growing fetus than on a fully developed infant.”

I had taken a similar Tylenol cold medicine when I was pregnant, so I felt better about taking my medicine after reading this. I also monitored my temperature so I could nurse.

I am doing practical things to avoid spreading my germs like that washing my hands constantly, using hand sanitizer and trying my best not to breathe on my kids.

Here are some tips about staying home with you kids while being sick:
Heather Cabot at the Huffington Post first suggestion is to Call for Backup.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it is your husband, neighbor, friend or mom, there is no shame in admitting you need some support. And for the future, it might be a good idea to figure how who your back-up is before you find yourself in the midst of a breakdown.

When I had my morning sickness I called my friends for backup many times. I would lay on their couch sick as a dog while they watched their kids and mine.

Stayathomeparents.suite101.com recommends Forgetting the Housework.

Be willing to let certain things go when you are sick. Now is not the time to worry about dusting the furniture. If you have small children who you have to keep with you when you are sick try and stay in one area. This way you are limiting your mess. Wait for hubby to do the dishes when he gets home.

Ha! I often wait for my husband to do the dishes anyway. But I do have to let go my concern of how a room looks. I like her suggestion of staying in one area. I either hunker down in the living room or in my bed room and I bring some toys.

Brit’s plan at BabiesOnline.com is to Let the Usual Rules Go.

Safety rules… stay. Things that make the house untidy meet feeble resistance from me, but I figure if they are happy and occupied I can rest and clean up when I feel better.

I know I have certainly let my little girl unload the tupperware cabinet a few times. She was quiet and not hurting anything. It got cleaned up eventually.

Staying home with kiddos while being sick is not fun. The sickness will pass and things will get better. As moms we can only do what we can do when we are sick and that is okay.

How do you manage when you are sick? Do you actually plan ahead for it?

My baby is 3 months old today and I am just now feeling like I am my old self again. After I had my first baby I remember an older couple telling me to wait until the 3 to 4 month mark and life will begin to get back to normal. So far their advice has been right with both of my kids.

Around the 3 to 4 month mark my babies started sleeping longer. They didn’t need to be fed around the clock. I even had some of my brain cells back. Now that I think of it, maybe my brain cells are coming back because I am getting more sleep. (If only I went to bed on time!)

Also, around the 3 to 4 month mark my babies started to smile and coo. Seriously, life doesn’t get any better than when your baby wakes up smiling every morning. Until that smile comes babies can seem like a chore, especially in the first few weeks.

Melissa recently commented on an older post of mine titled, “Its Okay Not to Love Your Newborn.” She wrote:

I too am struggling with my feelings toward my daughter. She is almost 3 weeks old and I do not feel a bond with her yet. I know I love her to some degree b/c I am constantly thinking and worried about her. Maybe that’s it. She does feel more like an obligation or a chore than an enjoyment. She cries a lot & I am blown away by the amount of responsibility it takes to care for her. I feel trapped & scared that it will never get better. I want her to hurry and grow then feel guilty b/c I know when that happens I’ll regret that I didn’t enjoy her at this time. It’s very depressing.

I replied to Melissa through email and I explained how things do get better. I have never loved the newborn stage. I am already tired from 40 weeks of pregnancy, labor & delivery, and getting no sleep all while having to learn to care for a new person. I feel like each baby has their own personality and the early weeks are spent getting to know the baby. Both the mom and baby are getting used to each other.

I certainly enjoy the newborn stage as best as I can, but I am always glad when I am on the other side of that mountain. Now that my baby is 3 months old I can see the bottom of that mountain. I can see my life becoming normal again. I am not spending every waking second worried about my new baby.  I am close to getting a full night’s sleep again. It is easier to travel. I am incredibly thankful to be on the other side of the mountain that began with first reading those two blue lines.

Do you love the newborn stage? When did your life feel like it was normal again? Did it ever return to normal? Or was it new kind of normal?

* The photo is of my husband and Baby Roman in the Guadalupe River on Memorial Day.

I went garage sale shopping last weekend and I am hooked. Friends have told me all about the great deals they found at garage sales, so I wanted to find some for myself. I made a list, got some cash and hopped in the car early Saturday morning. I had seen a sign for a neighborhood sale earlier that week. My husband and kiddos went too and we had a wonderful time. I have wondered why I haven’t been yard sale shopping all along. So if you don’t garage sale shop, here are 5 reasons why you should!

1. The great deals steals. I found clothes and books for a fraction of the cost at a Resale Shop or retail store clearance.  One of my best finds this weekend was buying $82 worth of classic children’s books for $5. The hardback, cardboard  version of “Goodnight Moon” retails at $16 and I got it for a buck. Also, clothes can be really cheap at garage sales. I bought two jackets for the fall for 50 cents a piece.

2. You can haggle. You can’t haggle at Target, Wal-Mart, or any other store. Be friendly and just ask, “Will you take x.xx for this?” I always have to build up my confidence to haggle. Once you do it a few times, it gets easier. The worst they can say is no. You can save some money just by asking a simple question. We bought an edger for $15 and the lady was asking $20. So I saved $5 in about 30 seconds.

3. You pay in cash. Once you bought an item it is paid for – it is yours! No monthly payments. No bills. You can stay on budget by bringing only the cash you need. It is also helpful to bring a bunch of change, because many sellers forget to have enough change.

4. Most sales happen Saturday mornings. Leave the kids at home with Dad or a friend and get some fresh air while shopping. Or bring the family along and make a morning of it. Give your child an envelope with a dollar or two and let them buy something. Teach them to haggle or how to spend wisely.

5. It is fun to bargain hunt. How many times have you been at someone’s house and heard a story about how they got a certain furniture item for a steal at a garage sale? Go get your own story!  It is really fun if you hit a gold mine when someone’s kid just grew out of the size clothes you need.

Here are 2 great articles about how to garage sale shop:

How to Garage Sale Shop Like a Pro at NotTheJetSet.net

Garage Sale Power Shopping at BeingFrugal.net

Do you like garage sale shopping? What is your best find at a garage sale?

Well, it is for our family, anyway.  Preschool is just about over and I have the long, relatively uneventful months of June, July, and August ahead of me to spend with my children.  It’s confession time:  a few months ago, you would have heard me saying things like, “I’m dreading summer!” or “What am I going to do with my kids for TWELVE WHOLE WEEKS?!”  Alas.  God reminded me not so long ago what a great gift He’s given me:  time with my kids.  However long the days might become, this is a sweet age for my children, and I am wrong to take it for granted.  I have been brainstorming a few ideas for summer activities, and I’d like to share them with you.  I have resolved to enjoy the weeks with my children, not complain about the heat, and step up my creative game.   Moms (and dads?), I present to you my “glass-is-half-full” approach.

1. I intend to plan out activities for each week.  As a former teacher, this is not that hard for me to do.  In essence, I’m going to make our home something of a preschool.  Each week will have a theme, and all of our activities will flow out of that theme.  For example, cars.  We’ll talk about cars, look at pictures of cars, go on a hunt for different kinds of cars, paint/draw/sculpt cars, play with toy cars, check out books from the library about cars, listen to songs about cars (or by The Cars – ha!), watch the movie Cars, etc.   Other themes:  music, airplanes (with a field trip to the airport), balloons (I can’t wait to see my son throw a water balloon), fish, etc.
2. I plan to seek out as many air-conditioned free activities as possible.  Barnes & Noble, the public library, and lots of other places host morning story or craft times.  Though it takes energy for me to manage both of my toddlers in those environments, it’ll give us something to do outside of our house.  I will also ask my mom friends if they have any guest rate options for museums, pools, and private parks.  I’ll look for you there!
3. I am coordinating a summer playgroup with all of my mom friends, and some new ones I’ve just made.  Meet weekly, same time, rotate the location.  Easy!
4. I would like to plan at least one lunch out a week with another mom and her kids.  Gotta love Chick-Fil-A and other restaurants with the play areas! 
5. I will wake up saying, “Today, I get to play with my children!” rather than, “Today, I will try to survive another day at home with the kids.”

In my quest to be SuperMom Of The Summer, I will utilize ideas from some of the following websites: 

• Preschool Activities at Education.com
• Summer Season Pre-K Unit Study at Suite101.com (a site I know I’ll be referring to often)
• Crafty Ideas from Kaboose

What are your resolutions and ideas for managing a summer at home with little ones?  Do you have any other links for rockin’ websites that are packed with activities to keep everyone busy?  Let’s spur one another on to love and good times with our darling little ones!