The Mom Crowd

Happy Earth Day! In honor of Earth Day I have composed a few easy things you can do to contribute to helping the earth be a little safer for our kids.

1. Next time you go to the store try buying Tide for Cold Water. Using cold water on all laundry uses less energy–thus reducing your carbon footprint. It will also save you about $65 per year on your electric bill.

2. Reuse those baby food jars! They can be used to:

• transition toddlers and preschoolers to a big girl/boy glass at the dinner table

• serve ice cream, pudding, or mouse in them for great kiddie sized portions

• organize your “junk drawer” for things like rubber bands, thumb tacks, paper clips, small watch/toy batteries, stamps

• put paints in for your budding artist to dip their paintbrush into

• catch bugs in

3. Break out those cloth napkins that you registered for at your wedding! I don’t know about you but I registered for cloth napkins and I never used them. We just went through our LAST pack of paper napkins and we are now using cloth ones. Buying or using cloth napkins reduces the use of energy and resources to make the paper napkins. You can also reuse old dishcloths and make them into cloth napkins. If you want to get creative you can assign each person in your family a colored napkin. You could also have napkin holders with each persons name on it. When the napkins get yucky enough you can throw them in the wash. They don’t have to be washed after every use!

4. Consider purchasing a reusable water bottle for every member in the family. 38 billion water bottles are put into landfills every year! A reusable water bottle will help decrease that amount. Sigg and Kleen Kanteens are great choices that are environmentally friendly and recycleable! They also make them in great kiddie sizes.

5. Turn your heat/ac up/down 1 degree. One degree won’t be that noticable and it will also reduce your energy bills and carbon footprint!

6. Arrange a Toy Swap with your other mommy friends. Toy Swaps help rid your house of clutter toys your kids have lost interest in and provide “new” toys for the kiddos to play with. It doesn’t necessarily cut down on toy clutter but it does help reduce waste from buying new toys. With 3 kids I have toys coming out of my ears. Sometimes the plastic toys make me feel like I’m going insane. I have a pile in the basement of toys that we have grown out of or have lost interest in and I am already planning on making a stop at good will or arranging a toy swap of my own!

I recently bought a book that just came out called Healthy Child, Healthy World: Creating A Cleaner, Greener, Safer Home. It is a book with tons of information about making your home nontoxic, recipes for air freshener, bubble bath and pet flea repellents, green gardening, how to avoid those scary toy recalls and how to choose safer art supplies, smart choices for remodeling your home and even a shopper’s guide for quality green products, brands, stores and websites. I haven’t read it all the way through but I have read most of it and have been impressed with the helpful information in the book. One thing I appreciate about the book is that each chapter covers the impacts of our choices on the environment. I know that the idea of being green and changing family patterns and habits can be overwhelming but the book emphasizes that any choice to go greener is a step in the right direction. I think it would be impossible to overhaul everything in our lives all at once. I know in our family we are taking one step at a time and it still feels like we are doing so little. I am trusting that my small contribution combined with others contributions will help make a big impact on making the world a better place for my kids and grandkids.

Being green is definitely becoming more popular and easy to do. What kinds of green things do you do?

My goal is to breastfeed my daughter until she is one year old. Once she turns one she can switch to cow’s milk. Ace turns 1 in less than three weeks. Lately I have been thinking about my goal to nurse for a year and the decision to wean. I have already begun the weaning process. She only nurses about twice a day and can use a sippy cup if she needs to. I have never really pumped. I never expected the decision to wean to be so emotional.

All my personal reasons to stop nursing aren’t a factor anymore. I wear underwire bras again. I occasionally drink a glass of wine after Ace is down for the night. It doesn’t take Ace long to nurse. It only happens two or three times a day. I am not nervous about nursing in public anymore. The only personal reason that I have left is so I can take antihistamines and certain antibiotics if I get sick.

The convenience of nursing is awesome. I hate doing dishes. I don’t have to go downstairs first thing in the morning to make a cup of milk. My husband usually gets up with me, changes Ace’s diaper and then brings her to me in bed. Right now the convenience outweighs the alternative for me.

My daughter is small for her age as she is normally in the 20th percentile for height and weight. I like that she is still small, so it doesn’t seem weird to me to nurse her. Although when she sits up and nurses it’s a little bit weird. Sometimes I feel like a soda fountain at a buffet.

Nursing has definitely given me a bond with my daughter that I didn’t expect. I had heard about nursing creating a bond between you and your baby, but I didn’t understand what my friends meant. Now I feel like I know. When she nurses we have a connection that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t nursed.

Ace is increasingly getting more adventurous and doesn’t want to be held as much. My little baby is turning into a toddler. I am not ready to fully wean her, because I am not ready for her to grow up. I didn’t think the first year would go by so quickly. Especially not in her second month when I wasn’t getting any sleep and nursing around the clock. But now she is almost one year old and I need to make a decision.

I know Ace may wean herself any day. My friend Kristin’s son just stopped nursing two weeks before his one-year birthday. There have been two nights where Ace didn’t want to nurse, because she was too full from dinner. It actually made me a little sad.

Right now I am going to continue to nurse past the first year until I have a peace about stopping or Ace isn’t interested anymore. I am happy with this unexpected decision.

I would love to hear your stories! When did you stop nursing? Did your baby wean themselves or did you wean them? How did you make your decision?

This is a guest post from my friend Myra at Moon and Back Studios. Myra is a talented designer and the mom of a very picky eater (see photo).

I’ve been cursed. Not in the pin in the voodoo doll sort of way. I’m talking about the kinds of curses parents put on their kids. You see, I was once a picky eater. I remember pushing my mom to the limits at meal time. And I vividly recall worrying about going to a friend’s house for dinner for fear they would serve something with fresh tomatoes (yuck), avocadoes (double yuck) or liver (the very worst yuck of all). Of course, there were many other foods that made The List, but even I couldn’t hold a candle to the Little Man (LM). And I had no idea what was in store for me.

But first my disclaimer: I write this in the spirit of McKenna’s recent article. I truly am not competitive about LM’s picky eating. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it might be one of the most frustrating experiences of my life, and certainly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Now here’s the part that might sound unbelievable but I promise it’s true. I am convinced that the picky problem started with LM at birth. It seemed as though I had the only child in the world who wouldn’t latch on. I went to the breastfeeding classes (alone) and knew all about its merits. So naturally, when LM refused breastfeeding, like any first time mother, I worried he might have severe nutritional deficits. Maybe even graduate at the bottom of his class. Or worse. So I pumped. Then, at just two weeks LM wound up in the hospital for a two week stay. But that’s a whole other story.

During the time in the hospital, I still diligently pumped. But LM hated breast milk, even with me on a bland diet. So we tried formula. Then colic ensued. So our pediatrician suggested Nutramagin. Worse colic. So the doctor prescribed another brand that was something like $30 for a 3 day supply. You’d think at that price the brand would be burned in my brain. It made the colic only slightly better.

We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist who told us if he had a nickel for every baby he saw with colic, he’d be a rich man. He patted us on the back, suggested we get some sleep (no – really?), and sent us home. Thanks for that. And my PPO thanks you too.

Fast forward to the LM at 2. At this age, he was too old for the four kinds of baby food he was willing to eat, so we tried to introduce “real” food. While trying to convince him that Cheerios are super fun “kid food”, he would gag violently when a single one was placed in his mouth. Finally, he was willing to eat PBJ sandwiches, but only when cut into bite-sized pieces that could be stabbed with a baby fork. Eventually, with some persuading from his aunt, he tried Goldfish crackers. Ahh, making progress. Then he added applesauce and yogurt. And of course, anything from the dessert food group was fair game. But there it stopped. For THREE years.

When I asked my pediatrician for advice, she lectured me about not giving in. She implied that I was being controlled by my child. But my husband and I are pretty strict parents. We haven’t raised a little dictator who rules our home.

The pediatrician suggested that we put food in front of the LM and when he got hungry enough, he’d eat. “Don’t be a short order cook,” she warned. So we tried. And in the spirit of the game, the LM raised the ante to an all out, 2 ½ day hunger strike. He was miserable, but not as miserable as we were. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. So on the third day, I made the PBJ and handed him the baby fork.

Now LM is five years old. Every single bite of every meal must be negotiated. We make deals about “healthy food” so he can have “snack food.” Until just recently, going to a restaurant required packing a meal that fit nicely in my purse. And really, that was quite easy. PBJ, Goldfish crackers and applesauce don’t take much room in a nice sized bucket bag. Restaurant dining with family also included (and still does) knowing stares from relatives who think we’re pushovers and should do a better job standing our ground. But what’s the point of shoving food into the LM’s mouth while he gags to the point of throwing up? Believe me, there were moments of desperation where I tried that. It didn’t work.

We had a mini breakthrough on the way to my birthday dinner in January. LM announced from the backseat, “you know, I might try something healthy tonight.” Just like that. We ordered grilled chicken and green beans, and he actually ate some. That was his first taste of meat since the ground up mystery meat in the baby food.

Since the breakthrough on my birthday, we’ve added chicken nugget Happy Meals to the menu selection. He tried the hamburger version first, and promptly informed me that “the brown stuff in the middle is gross mom.” But I don’t eat it either, so I can live with that.
When we’re invited to a birthday party, I try not to stare wistfully at the kids hungrily shoving pizza in their mouths. We wouldn’t have any of that. Instead, LM waits patiently while they eat, content with the knowledge that cake is on the way.

So, back to McKenna’s post and the spirit this is written. Please outdo me! I want to be one-upped. I want to know there are moms out there with experiences like mine – maybe even worse. And maybe someone will have some brilliant advice. All I want is to be an underachiever.

For the record, I could very easily lapse into ordering at a restaurant in a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way. But I do my best to refrain from requests for “on the side” because I don’t want to be one of them. But I still will not touch a raw tomato.

Children are born wanting to grow up to be just like their parents. We are their constant role-models and their sneak peak into their adult lives. To think that I’m the only mom my two children are going to have blows my mind! Even at their very young ages, I have seen them start to emulate my husband and myself. Some of the things they’ve picked up from us are super cute. Some things they are picking up from my husband and I are not so cute. I have seen my three year old pick up bad habits that only I can take credit for and my 16 month old’s temper is seemingly familiar. I have started to be more aware of how many bad habits and inappropriate things I’m doing in front of my children. I have started to really pay attention to the things I do and say in front of my kids.

There are a few biggies that I have really been trying to avoid when my children are awake and in earshot.

Arguing with my spouse
While this is very obvious, it is something that is not always easy. Finding time to have that “debate” with my husband can be hard because sometimes I don’t want to wait until they’re in bed. It stresses my kids out when my husband and I are tense toward each other. They really pick up on our relationship dynamics!

Lying
Those little white lies like “tell her I’m in the shower and I can’t talk right now” are setting a very bad example. Children can not determine the difference between white lies and major lies, and it’s not fair to expect them to have integrity and to always be honest if you are not setting that example for them.

Gossiping or speaking badly about others
Those side comments about the horrible driver in front of you or talking bad about someone else while you’re talking on the phone is being carefully documented by your little one. We all want our children to be positive, encouraging people and we’re doing them a disservice by exposing them to the negative, discouraging world of gossip and putting down other people. I have a hard time with this when I’m talking to my husband about the happenings of the day. It’s easy for me to slip a negative comment in there about someone that made my day more difficult and I really don’t want my children to focus on the negative aspects of other people.

Swearing (and the like)
The words that you do not want coming out of your child’s mouth shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth when your kids are present. This goes beyond the standard s-words and b-words and includes “retarded” (which is a word I despise when it’s abused!) or “crap” or even simple things like “I hate that!” I have not been as careful as I should be about what comes out of my mouth in front of my children. Neither one are really talking yet, so I haven’t had my true reality check where one of my children says something that is inappropriate but I know that they are listening and remembering every word that I say and every reaction that I have.

The flip side to all of this is that our children are also taking notes of all of our wonderful attributes! When we do something generous for someone else, our children are watching. When we speak kindly about someone on the phone, our children are listening. When we give our spouse a big ole’ kiss when he walks in the door, our children feel warm inside because their parents love each other. Nobody is going to be a perfect example for their children at all times. We’re all human and all have our weaknesses. The best we can do is become aware of the things we’re doing that we need to change and try to change! We can also strive to do positive things in front of our children and hope that they are paying more attention to our positive habits than our negative ones.

What other areas do we need to guard against in front of our children? What areas do you struggle with the most as a mom?

A friend of mine recently sent an email asking a few moms for our input on car seats and stroller systems. I didn’t even know that car seats fit into strollers until I registered at Babies R Us. Luckily there was a very knowledgeable customer assistant to inform my husband and I on all the safety features. We ended up choosing the Graco Safeseat in the color we liked best. Also, the stroller that is paired with the seat has rubber wheels. I have been grateful for the rubber wheels when I use the stroller at the park. Even though we didn’t know a lot about car seats when we registered, we are happy with our Graco Safeseat.

How Do You Choose a Car Seat?

Babycenter.com says, “All car seats currently on the market meet the U.S. government’s stringent crash- and fire-safety standards, so any car seat you buy new is technically safe. (The same isn’t true for secondhand car seats or car seats purchased more than a couple of years ago, which may have been designed to meet outdated standards or may have been damaged in an accident or been recalled for safety violations.)”

I knew that we wanted more than one child, so we bought a new car seat in a gender neutral color to be used multiple times. We were very blessed that my old office gave me a gift card to buy our seat.

More in depth help with choosing a car seat:
Buying Advice (Consumer Reports.org)
Car seat safety: How to choose and use a car seat (BabyCenter.com)
Choosing a Car Seat: What You Need to Know (ivillage.com)
Carseat Buying Guide (Car-Safety.Org)
Car Seat Ratings (ConsumerReports.org)

Child Seat Safety

“Child safety seats reduce the risk of fatal injury by 71% (less than 1 year old) and by 54% for toddlers (1-4 years old) in passenger cars.” according the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s Traffic Safety Facts 2006.

There is a scene in Tyler Perry’s movie “Why Did I Get Married?” where Janet Jackson’s character is expressing her guilt on why her son passed. She explains how she was in a hurry, she thought that she had buckled her child in the correct way, and she had to swerve on the road and got into an accident. This scene haunts me. Every time I buckle in Ace I slow down and make sure that she is in her seat properly. I have heard of other mothers that have been in a hurry and something terrible happens. No matter how tired we are or how late we are, making sure that our children are buckled up safely takes priority over everything else.

More statistics on child seat safety:
Statistics on Car Seats from CarSeatSite.com
2007 NSUBS Results on Booster Seat, Child Restraint and Seat Belt Use
Car Safety Seats and Transportation Safety on American Academy of Pediatrics
Consumer Reports Car Seat Update from October 2007

Seat Installation

According to SeatCheck.org, “While 96 percent of parents and caregivers believe their child safety seats are installed correctly, research shows that seven out of 10 children are improperly restrained.”

What are the most common child safety seat installation mistakes? (from SeatCheck.org)

• Not using the right child safety seats for a child’s size and age;
• Not placing the child safety seat in the correct direction;
• Incorrect installation of the child safety seat in relation to the vehicle’s air bags;
• Incorrect installation and tightness of the child safety seat to the vehicle seat;
• Not securing or tightening the child safety seat’s harness and crotch straps;
• Improper use of locking clips for certain vehicle safety belts;
• Not making sure the vehicle’s seat belts fit properly across the child when using a booster seat; and
• Using a defective or broken child safety seat.

Locate a Child Safety Seat Inspection Station in your area:
Child Safety Seat Inspection Station Locator

How do you know when you are supposed to use the right car seat?

There are four basic types of car seats: Infant-only carrier, convertible seats, toddler booster seats, and booster seats. McKenna had the opportunity to interview Ms. Elaine Bobbey an Executive Officer for Evenflo at a recent Baby Expo in San Antonio, TX. In the video Ms. Bobbey explains the different types of car seats and what age you should use each one. She advocates that a child should use a seat until the age of 8.

More detailed information about the types of car seats:
Types of Car Seats (ConsumerReports.org)
Graco’s Guide for First Time Parents
NHTSA Video, “Not Sure Which Car Seat to Use?”

Car Seat Recalls

Car Seats are important for the safety of our children and we need to be aware if our seats have been recalled. To find out if your seat has been recalled you can look at the list on SaferCar.org.

How did you choose your car seat? How would advise anyone buying a car seat for the first time? What type of car seat do you use?