The Mom Crowd

Me! A while back I mentioned here that AWildeRide.net was having a writing contest. The theme of the contest is “What to Expect When Parenting is Not What You Expected” and each entry had to relate to the content in their site. I submitted an essay titled, “What to Expect When Your Mother’s Parenting Isn’t What You Expected.” I found out last night that I won third place! The third prize was actually what I wanted to win, because of the prizes that were being offered. I will be sure to let you know when it is published on their site in February so you can check it out! I am so excited!

Check out the announcement of the winners on AWildRide.net.

In honor of McKenna’s potty training post yesterday.

I have felt so much pressure to potty train my daughter. I will be honest. There is a big part of me that has wondered why it’s so important to potty train early. Diapers, in my opinion, are much easier than having to stop everything to take your child to the bathroom and potty training is just one more factor, thrown in there with nap time and meal time, in strategically planning your outings. We’re busy, and in my free time with my daughter, teaching her shapes, colors, and how to count seem much more important than learning to pee-pee in the potty. While I would rather work on other developmental goals, I do know that it is important (and cheaper) for Darah to be potty trained. Potty training brings about more independence for her.

Recently, at the start of 2008, I determined that 2008 was the year Darah was going to be potty trained. I have read “Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day,” and gone to countless sites about potty training. I have taken the “Is your child ready?” quizzes and determined that she is. I have tried a few days of having her run around without bottoms for a day and taken her every 10 minutes to the potty. I have made the sticker chart, decorated the bathroom, charted her elimination pattern (when she pees and poops) and I have incorporated potty time in her schedule at school with her teachers. I’ve come to the place though where I am now slowing down!

So, like in all mountains I have climbed, I have decided to focus on one step at a time. We are at the place where we are “pre-potty training” Darah. By pre-potty training, I mean that I am training her to go through the whole routine of potty time, without the actual elimination in the toilet.

Preparing your child for potty training:

• Desensitize your child to the bathroom. The bathroom is unlike most rooms in the house, so allow your child in there with you frequently.
• Whenever you go, take your child. Celebrate when YOU go to the bathroom and allow your child to join in that celebration.
• Empty your child’s poopy diaper in the toilet. Explain to your child that his or her poo poo belongs in the toilet and flush it together.
• Change all diapers in the bathroom.
• Teach your child what the potty time routine looks like, including: lifting up the toilet lid cover, pulling down your pants, sitting on the toilet for a while, wiping, flushing, pulling back up your pants, washing your hands, and closing the bathroom door when you’re finished. If your child can follow this whole routine, once you start the elimination training, half the battle is already won!
• Teach the concept of “wet and dry” to your child. When their diaper is wet, let them touch it and explain that it’s wet (washing their hands right after, of course.) When their diaper is dry, let them feel the dryness and explain to them that they are dry.
• Don’t force your child to explore the bathroom. You do not want your child to become aversive to the bathroom, or the toilet.
• Always have a good attitude about potty training. Just like all developmental milestones, potty training is a process that will not be without accidents. When a child is learning to walk, parents don’t scold him when he falls down, they encourage him to get back up and try again. Your child will pick up on your frustration with potty training and will decide not to cooperate, and that my friend will be a very tough battle!

With the huge help of Darah’s teachers at school, Darah has learned the potty time routine. She independently pulls down her pants, sits on the toilet, wipes, flushes, and washes her hands. She has not begun eliminating in the toilet yet, except for a few random times we’ve caught her! However, I feel that every day we go through the potty routine with her, we are getting closer and closer to once and for all toss the diapers, put on the Little Mermaid big girl panties, and go for it!

What’s next?

My plan right now is to continue having “potty time” several times a day, and hopefully we will “catch” her when she needs to go more frequently and celebrate those moments. I think that with Darah, we are going to probably need to schedule train her after next. By schedule training, I mean that we figure out the times that she needs to potty during the day and we take her to the bathroom to do her thing. Shortly after she is schedule trained, I am hopeful she will then spontaneously start asking to use the toilet at appropriate times. I will then write a post here on The Mom Crowd and give you all my insider info on the next steps!

Dr Phil’s Potty Training Method

Potty training a child with special needs

What is your experience with potty training? Did/Do you feel the same pressure I’ve felt about potty training? Do you think early or late potty training is better? Any good info, books, or sites to share? Let’s talk POTTY!!

One of our family goals for 2008 is to bathe our baby at least twice a week. She doesn’t crawl yet, so she doesn’t get that dirty. I know I am not the only one! My baby is too big for her newborn bathtub. I am not sure what to use next, because they don’t go over this stage when you make your baby registry. So I compiled this resource list of bathtubs and techniques you can use to bath your baby after they have grown out of their newborn tub.

Inflatable Tubs

There are many moms who love their inflatable tubs, because they travel well and work well inside their bathtubs. Consumer Reports has a different take, “There are also inflatable tubs that fit inside a regular bathtub to give your baby a padded space to bathe but we don’t recommend those either because they can be dangerous.” Consumer Reports never says how they are dangerous. With every baby tub we must use common sense and never leave a child unattended for second.

• Especially For Baby Noah’s Ark Inflatable Tub, $12.99
  

This tub has a 4.5 star rating out of 5 on babiesrus.com. Most of the user reviews rave about the tub. 2 of 36 reviewers said it leaked and another mom said that it didn’t fit her twins. Overall, it looks like a good buy if you want an inflatable tub.

• Muchkin Duck Bathtub, $9.99
  

I have a friend whose daughter absolutely loves her duck bath, but one user review said that their baby was scared of the duck! Another review mentioned that you couldn’t see the cute head when the baby is sitting in it. The main draw back is that you cannot fill it directly from the faucet, because the sides are too big. Also, the tub does not drain fast enough.

Bath Seats

One option is to transition into a bath seat. Be careful not to buy a bath seat that uses suction cups to hold the seat in place. Consumer Reports issued a warning in April of 2007 explicitly stating that suction cup bath seats should not be bought, because babies have fallen over and got stuck under the seat. With other consumer organizations, Consumer Reports have actively pursued the Consumer Product Safety Commission to ban the seats.

• Safety 1st Tubside Bathseat, $24.99
  

This seat is for babies from 5 to 10 months. My friend passed this seat down to me and I have only tried it once. Ace screamed the whole time she was in it and we couldn’t figure out how to wash her bottom. While a lot of moms like the seat, some of the complaints are that their baby got stuck, it is hard to clean and store outside of the tub.

• Dream Baby Fold-Away Bath Seat, $19.99
  

This seat uses suction cups, so it can only be used on smooth tub surfaces. The front bar opens to make it easier to take your baby out. Most of the user reviews find that this product isn’t great, but okay. If used properly it can get the job done.

Transitional Tubs

An infant-to-toddler tub may be good buy, because it will grow with your baby. Some of these tubs use a padded clip on sling to hold a newborn and then can be taken off when your baby can sit up. Other transitional tubs use an inclined seat for newborns that adjusts as your baby grows into a toddler.

• Fisher Price Aquarium Bath Center, $28.49

This seat is really popular and comes with a pouring cup, a toy, and another toy that doubles as a thermometer. There seems to be a bump in the tub that either hits your baby’s bottom in the hammock position or hits their back while sitting up. I probably would not buy this for the after-newborn stage, because so many reviewers complained about this bump in the tub.

• The First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Newborn-to-Toddler Tub by Learning Curve, $16.99

Both Babiesrus.com and Amazon.com users rate this 4.5 stars out of five. It fits in the kitchen sink and the tub. Also, the plug changes color if it gets too hot, but sometimes it doesn’t work. There are a few complaints that it is too short for long babies, but other moms disagree. You would probably have to test it out for yourself to see. I have a similar newborn tub to this one and really liked it. With so many great reviews for this tub, I may be spending my money on this one.

Bathing in the Sink

There is nothing wrong with using the old-fashioned sink to bath your baby. I used the sink in our hotel room while we were traveling in the Philippines to bathe our baby. Be careful of the faucet, because it can be hot and they may bonk their head. You can also line the bottom of the sink with a towel to keep them from slipping. The kitchen sink is also great, because it saves your back from bending over.

Jumping In the Tub With Your Baby

According to Dr. Sears you can calm a baby who screams every time they bathe by jumping into the tub with them. He suggests getting everything ready and then hold your baby close while slowly bringing them into the water. He also suggests while you are getting the hang of bathing with your baby you may want to hand your baby to someone else when you are getting out the tub. I spoke with one mom who does this with her kids and she loves the special bonding time she gets with her babies during bathing time.

Extra Resources:

How To Bathe Your Baby
Baby Bathtubs: Safety Tips
Dr. Greene on Bathing Your Baby
What To Look For When Buying Bath Seats
Features to Consider When Buying a Baby Bathtub

Where do you bathe your baby? Have you used any of these tubs or techniques?

I thought I would do a follow-up post to ‘Do You Work Out?’ so I would be more motivated myself to workout. I was inspired by Dawn getting out and running even though she has two small kids. Jenn makes time for it in her day and I completely understand where Sharon is coming from. Lisa has some great resources on her blog Workout Mommy.

Everyone knows that working out and exercising is good for your health and well-being. But we don’t always do it. Our schedules get busy. A dinner with friends pops up. The house needs to be cleaned. You overslept again. You don’t have the right clothes or equipment. You’ll start tomorrow. You don’t think you are “athletic.”

So how do we make working out a priority and overcome the obstacles in order to achieve good health? Here are a few tips that will inspire you to hop on that elliptical machine again.

• Use a Buddy System

Exercise with a friend! It takes some extra effort to coordinate, but it is worth it. I love going to the gym with my friends. My friend Natalie and I had a set time to meet and I was more motivated to go to the gym knowing that she was going to be there. I also walk the first and third Friday at a local park with another friend. Working out goes by a lot faster when you are catching up with each other while walking on treadmills.

• Find an Exercise That You Enjoy

Try everything out at least once! Don’t be afraid to look like a fool while running or going to the aerobics class. When I first went to step class I could not keep up, but in a few weeks I could do it with my eyes closed. I also took a swimming class so I could learn how to do all the strokes correctly and flip turns. I found that I didn’t like swimming that much. Maybe you will enjoy spinning, yoga, or swimming. You don’t know until you try.

• Set Realistic Goals

Don’t set out to run a marathon your first attempt at running. Start with a goal to do a 5K or 10K. Don’t expect to make it to the gym five days a week. Start with three days a week. You could start with cardio exercises then add on weights after going for two weeks. Write down your goals where you will see them to remind you!

• Get Support from Your Family

Have your husband watch the kids or agree to spend money on a gym membership. Communicate your needs. You will be less likely to skip working out if you already have babysitting in place. Take your child with you in a stroller.

• Have Your Clothes Ready

Getting dressed is half the battle. Once I am dressed I am a lot more motivated to go. Set your gym clothes out the night before. Make sets of workout clothes ready to go in your drawer complete with a sports bra, shorts, a shirt, even socks.

• Get Motivated!

Determine what is your motivation for working out. Is it so you can run a half marathon? To fit in your old jeans? For a reunion? We may be going to California in the next few months. Every time I have been to California I have felt very self-conscious about my weight and I am not even fat by normal standards. So I am motivated to loose a few pounds before we go. This may not be the best reason for wanting to workout, but if it is getting my behind to the gym, so what?

• Put It on the Calendar

Set your workout times and write them on a calendar. Guard that time with your life. That means you will have to say No to requests and schedule things at a later time. This really worked for us when we did it. We worked out right after work. That meant that we couldn’t meet anyone for dinner until at least 7:00 p.m.

• Have Accountability

Have a friend or spouse hold you accountable to your goals. Share your goals and let them to check up on you once a week. Don’t get mad if your husband asks if you have lost any weight.

• Set Consequences and Rewards

Set a reward when you reach your goals, but don’t let food be a reward! Get a manicure or treat yourself to a new lipstick. With your spouse’s support and accountability let them share with you the reward of watching your favorite chick flick after the kids are asleep! Set a consequence when you don’t work out – Force yourself to try on your skinny clothes or be like the coaches in high school and make yourself run extra laps next time you work out.

• Change Your Mindset

Working out can be fun and relaxing! While waiting to get into my step class, I overhead a classmate say that she had been looking forward to class all day, because she had a rough day. What she said changed my perspective of working out. I made an effort to view exercising as a stress reliever. It reminds me of when Charlotte on ‘Sex in the City’ goes jogging when she needs to get away from her fertility problems. Running or going to class can be a big stress reliever.

• Get Up and Go!

Stop procrastinating! Make yourself a priority and go! Go for a walk with your ipod in the evenings. Get out of bed and go to the gym. Stop the excuses. Stop saying that you will start tomorrow. Iowa Management has a great post offering solutions to your excuses. If you blew your routine, start again! You can do it!

Fun Bonus:

Read about Mihow’s experience going to Yoga class with her baby.