The Mom Crowd

I really am enjoying all of our guest bloggers this week! Our next guest blogger is Kristi Davis. Kristi has two beautiful children and is a certified personal trainer. She has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to fitness and nutrition! It is refreshing to hear some great advice from someone who is so down to earth and practical. I am very glad she agreed to share some of her knowledge with some of us who desperately need some help in this area.

Women are often many things to many people. You play the role of mother, daughter, student, wife, sister, employee, housekeeper, etc. It is so important that you take care of your mind, body, and spirit through good nutrition and exercise so that you can be there to take care of the people you love. Sometimes women feel guilty about putting
themselves first. They have a tendency to feel selfish. There is no need to feel guilty or selfish about spending time in the gym. After you get that workout in you will have so much more energy for the rest of the day. You will most likely be more productive and in a better mood than you would be if you skipped your workout. Another reason women put off exercise is because they don’t think they have the time it takes to workout. In reality we don’t need to take much time out from our day to get in an effective workout.

I recommend one hour of exercise 4-5 days a week. There are 24 hours in one day
and all you need is one of them. You are worth one hour! You might be wondering how you can get a total body workout in one hour. The answer is a combination of cardio and total body exercises using the weights and stability ball. Here is the plan below.

1) Warm up 3 minutes on the elliptical, bike, stair climber, treadmill, or whichever type of cardio equipment you choose.

2) Continue to do your cardio. Alternate 2 minutes fast pace, 1 minute of recovery. Then minutes incline or resistance, with 1-minute recovery. If you are on the treadmill you can vary this further with 2 minutes jogging, one minute walking, or 2 minutes sprinting 1-minute recovery. This is a cardio interval type of workout and burns more
calories than going one set pace on the equipment. Go for 27-28 minutes. Cool down 2-3 minutes.

3) Next you want to get the best bang for your buck when it comes to strength training. You need to do exercises that target large groups of muscles. Squats and lunges with a body bar (optional) are two of the best moves you can do for your legs. You can do 3 sets of 12. Rest in between sets. After you complete your sets try 3 sets of 12 push-ups. You can do them on your knees or on the stability ball. The push-ups target your core, chest, and triceps. Do you have a bosu ball at your gym? It looks like half a stability ball with a base. Try doing your bicep curls on the bosu. This will tone your biceps and your core. You can also work your triceps on the bosu. If your gym doesn’t have one or you are working from home try balancing on one leg while you lift the weights. Remember to keep your knees soft, core tight (suck in your stomach), shoulders back, back straight, and breathe while you are lifting weights.

4) The final exercises will be for your abs. The bicycle is the most effective abdominal exercise. To do this exercise start by laying on your back. You will then take your shoulders off the ground; chin faces up towards the sky, place your hands behind your head for support (don’t lace your fingers together) take your right shoulder up and across your body to meet your left leg. At the same time bring that left leg in towards your chest. Return to start and do the exact thing on the other side. Do 3 sets of 30 seconds. Finish your abs with some basic crunches on the stability ball (more effective than on the floor).

5) Stretch! This is the most important step and most people forget it. Stretching prevents injury, increases flexibility, and helps prevent sore muscles. Stretch out every muscle you worked with basic stretches. Breathe deeply as you stretch. Relax and don’t tense your muscles or allow them to bounce. Hold the stretches for 20 seconds.

You are done! You now have the energy to take your kids to the park or fold that mountain of laundry you have been avoiding all week.

Also, if you don’t have a gym membership you can do most of these exercises from your home. All you need are some good sidewalks, a park, or if you’re lucky enough home exercise equipment, a pair of light weights, and a stability ball. You can buy the stability balls at Wal-Mart and Target for around $20.00.

Lastly, if you only have 30 minutes to exercise choose with the cardio interval program. If you plan on working out again in the next 24 hours don’t work the same muscle groups. You need to give them a rest (abs excluded). You can do your cardio but you need to avoid doing the cardio intervals on back-to-back days. You can also opt to work different muscle groups like the shoulders, back, inner-thigh, and outer-thigh.

Kristi Davis
Certified Personal Trainer

Do you have any time saving exercising tips of your own?

It’s easy to take being a mom for granted. For some women, the act of becoming a mother is not very easy and requires unconventional routes. I am friends with an amazing person who is trying to become pregnant through an egg donor. Her amazing spirit, positive attitude, and HUGE HEART has always been so encouraging to me. Everyone who meets this woman is instantly in love with her because she is one of the most selfless people I know. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, we are not disclosing her name, but please be inspired by the journey she is on right now to become a mom. Here is her ongoing story:

I was so excited on the day I threw away my last empty package of Birth Control pills…we were going to try get pregnant! That was over two years ago.

The first two months went by with no period. After several negative pregnancy tests I visited an OBGYN. Her nurse practitioner told me I needed to go home and draw a bath, light a candle, and read a good book in order to relax. Apparently that was going to do the trick. I left in tears. I knew my body – I had already been through one surgery to remove endometriosis – this was NOT normal. I think she must have somewhat convinced me that I was over-reacting because it was a few months before I went to another doctor. He ran tests, tried out a few drugs on me and made me take my temperature every day for about 3 months. He could never figure out when I was ovulating, and then he prescribed Clomid. When a couple of friends were mortified to hear that he wasn’t monitoring me via ultrasounds, I decided to move on to yet another doctor. He was a “Reproductive Endocrinologist.” I can’t believe I am actually here – only women who can’t get pregnant come here. Oh wait…that is ME! It sank in so quickly that I was actually “Infertile.”

The new doctor reviewed my records and decided to try the Clomid again, but assured me we would be monitoring the progress with regular ultrasounds. I took the maximum dosage of Clomid and went in about every three or four days for vaginal ultrasounds. As bizarre as it seems…you get used to the humiliation and vulnerability of the process. I was so hopeful every time I went in, but I only produced one very small follicle and it just disappeared by the next ultrasound. After a total of three unsuccessful rounds of Clomid, it was time to re-assess the situation. My husband and I went in for a long discussion which resulted in a very scary realization that I was having neurological side effects to the Clomid. OK…so no more Clomid. We were pulling out the “big guns”…injectables. But first, the doctor wanted to do another surgery to remove any new endometriosis and clean out my tubes. Six weeks after the surgery I started the injectables which run about $1300.00 for a cycle which lasts about 12 days. I was taking triple the amount of a normal cycle…you do the math. At one point I was injecting a total of 6 vials of FSH hormone injectables per day. I was a human pin cushion. We did five unsuccessful cycles, or months, of the injectables and I had officially baffled my doctor. He said my ovaries were “laughing” at the drugs.

“I believe you may have Premature Ovarian Failure, or POF. You can expect to start menopause in the next few years.” Although my husband and the doctor were both in the room with me, I felt completely alone and as though I had just been kicked in the stomach. How can this be happening to me? I’m only 34 years old! I had a burning feeling rising up through my chest and throat, but fought back the tears as I still had to pay, yes – I had to PAY to hear this news and I also had to still walk through the lobby of the fertility clinic that had become an all too familiar scene in the last year. The doctor went on to tell me about my options, but it was all just muffled sound as I sat there trying to understand what I had done to deserve this fate.

This was about the middle (so far) of our journey to becoming parents. It is difficult to explain the feelings that come along with the label “Infertile.” Isn’t it my job as a woman to carry a baby? Is my husband going to be disappointed that we may never have the opportunity to produce a baby combined from the two of us? Am I going to be forever resentful of my friends and family who easily became pregnant and now lead their busy “soccer mom” lives? Ugh – this is unacceptable. I am not going down without a fight! I have been successful at everything I have ever put my mind to. I put myself through college, landed great jobs, and married a wonderful man…why should this be any different? There are two very prominent things I have learned throughout this process – 1. I am NOT in control, and 2. People say the most amazing things. Along the way I have heard just about every anecdote from strangers, family and friends that you could imagine. “Just relax, it will happen”, “Everything happens for a reason”, and my favorite “Are you sure God wants you to have children?” A friend and I have joked about writing a book about what NOT to say to a woman when she is going through fertility issues, had a miscarriage, or had a child with a disability. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

Once the reality set in that the only way I was going to become a mother was through egg donation, I hit the ground running. I guess I could sit around having a pity party, but I am not getting any younger and the situation is not going to change no matter how many tears I shed. Funny thing is, I now cry at the strangest times, especially when I walk by the two “guest bedrooms” upstairs in my house. I feel like I have let everybody down. It is a feeling full of shame and guilt that I cannot provide the joy a child would bring to the people around me.

One of my dearest and most up-beat friends agreed to meet me in Dallas at the agency that would provide the egg donor. As we sit at a large round table and I flip through big white plastic binders, my friend puts her hand on one of the pages as if to distract me and asks “What are you thinking at this very moment?” I tell her I cannot believe I am doing this. I am actually “shopping” for an egg. It is the most surreal moment of my life so far. There is no denying what is happening.

I picked out 11 girls, and the agency also gave me a picture of a girl that had just applied, but they did not have her written profile ready yet. I paid the agency a fee and they gave me copies of all the profiles I had chosen. On the ride back home, I read the profiles to my husband and I used a highlighter to note any “strikes” against her. Besides physical appearance, we were looking at family health history, education, and her answers to questions about the reasons for becoming an egg donor. We had narrowed the list to three girls, and I was still waiting on the profile that went with the picture the agency had given me. I emailed the agency requesting additional photos of the narrowed list of donors and also to request the written profile that went with the photos they had provided.

The following day was my birthday. I opened my email and the agency had sent my requests. I read the previously missing profile and then printed it out for my husband to read. I gave it to him and stood anxiously over him as he read it. He closed the profile, handed it back to me and said “Call the agency and tell them we have made our choice. This is her. ” I can’t believe it – that was my thought exactly! Happy Birthday to me! God had sent us this angel for my birthday. We were on our way.

We forked over a small fortune to the agency and had to sign many papers that would protect both party’s anonymity and also promise legal custody of any resulting embryos. Many people do not realize the financial expenses that come along with this process. The donor receives a fee, the agency receives a fee, we pay all of the donor’s doctor visits, medication, and since I chose a donor that lives in another city, we pay all of her travel expenses as well. I found myself separating emotions from business. Every time I stopped to think about it I broke down in tears. Some happy tears, and some tears of sheer terror. To this day I still wonder what the heck I am doing and wondering if this is the right thing to do.

All we had to do now was wait to see if the donor was available and then start syncing our cycles. She agreed and we both were prescribed several different drugs that would prepare us for the egg transfer. We were both suppressed (our ovaries were basically shut down so that they could be manipulated with drugs) and after both of us had an ultrasound, she would start on the injections that would produce follicles that would hopefully contain the eggs we needed…so we thought. That very day my husband went to the doctor for some pain in his lower abdomen. He had an inguinal hernia and we could not move forward until it was repaired. We had to start all over.

About two months later we arrived at the same point we left off with when my husband had the hernia. I went in for my ultrasound and everything looked great. My donor went in for her ultrasound and everything did NOT look great…she had a cyst on her right ovary. They could not start the stimulating hormones until it was gone. Another week went by and the cyst was still there. I felt like I was climbing to the top of a mountain only to be sent back to the bottom by an avalanche. Yet another week went by and she still had the cyst. My doctor called me and very gently told me the news. He said that if she did not agree to have the cyst drained then we should consider finding another donor. You have got to be kidding me. I refused to do this again – I knew I could not handle it. Luckily she agreed to have the cyst drained and we started everything back up again.

That is where we are as I sit here writing this story for my friend’s website. I am full on anxiousness, hope, and fear all at the same time. It has been the most emotionally, physically, and financially draining experience of my life. It has brought me closer to God and also brought my husband and me closer as well. There truly is a reason all of this is happening to me.

This whole week at The Mom Crowd, we will be hearing from guest bloggers. Dawn is our first guest blogger. She is a friend of Amanda’s and has been a dedicated reader of The Mom Crowd. She wrote a great post! If you want to learn more about Dawn, check out her at Everything I’ve Ever Wondered*. Happy Reading! ~McKenna

Hey moms! I’m Dawn, mother of Lucy (22 mos) and Eli (5 mos). So Amanda asked me to write a post for The Mom Crowd. I spent several days thinking of ideas for my post (“I Hate My Closet: Why Getting Dressed Isn’t as Fun as It Used to Be”; “When My Body is Truly Mine Again: How I Spanned 3 Years and 2 Olympic Games Pregnant, Nursing, or Both”; “Guilt: How Much TV is Too Much TV When You Love to Watch TV?”), and I decided that I’d better leave the child-rearing wisdom to the experts. I am going to stick with one of my favorite topics-an area in which I have far too much knowledge: pop culture. So I present to you, dear mommies, my

Favorite Five Unsung Wonder-Moms in Film

Most folks would agree that Terms of Endearment is an iconic film about mothers & daughters. I like the movie a lot, sure, and I think the acting and story are top-notch. However, too much attention is paid to Shirley MacLaine’s character (Aurora Greenway), the doting and unusual mother of Debra Winger’s Emma. What about those other movie moms, the quiet ones, who are fantastic mom characters? They forego the quirky, kooky side and show us what lots of real moms act like. I decided to give them a shout-out, starting with

1. Lorri Morris, played by Rachel Griffiths in The Rookie. Not only does she have 3 young kids (including one baby), she’s a full time high school counselor. Plus, her husband decides to leave the family for months at a time to pursue a crazy pro-baseball dream! Their marriage is a perfect example of a wife who is supportive yet realistic (although I must confess I doubt I’d be as patient as she appeared to be). I love the scene when their baby wakes up in the middle of the night, and the couple lies in bed, discussing who should get up to comfort her. Ultimately, the mom ends up rocking the baby back to sleep, singing to her softly. She is strength and love personified.

2. “Mom”, played by Karen Allen, in The Sandlot. She shows the power of simple understanding when her young son struggles to fit in with the new crowd after a move. She gently encourages him to go outside, to get into trouble, to get dirty! In her own words: “Not a lot of moms would make an offer like that.” The most telling scene? Scotty finally makes a friend in Benny (who gives him a glove and hat so he can join the team), and Scotty excitedly runs into the house, shouting, “Hey Mom! Guess what!?” He knew his mom would be just as excited about it. Awww…

3. “Kate Reynolds”, played by Tea Leoni in The Family Man. Just your basic great-mom-who’s-also-a-hottie, taking care of the kids each day and loving her husband even though he’s sometimes a selfish lout. “…maybe I was being naive, but I believed that we would grow old together in this house. That we’d spend holidays here and have our grandchildren come visit us here. I had this image of us, all grey and wrinkly, and me working in the garden and you re-painting the deck. But things change. If you need this, Jack, if you really need this, I will take these kids from a life they love and I’ll take myself from the only home we’ve ever shared together and I’ll move wherever you need to go. I’ll do that because I love you. I love you, and that’s more important to me than our address. I choose us.”

4. “Annie Kinsella”, played by Amy Madigan in Field of Dreams. A former hippie who still loves a good demonstration every now & then, Annie is one spunky momma. She cracks jokes, gives her husband the benefit of the doubt, and cooks a mean tray of frozen french fries. She’s a hoot. Look for her getting her daughter’s lunch ready while wearing a Brownie beanie cap. (What is it with moms who are so supportive of their crazy-baseball-dream-driven husbands?)

5. “M’Lynn Eatenton“, played by Sally Field in Steel Magnolias. We’ve all seen it a thousand times: the gut-wrenching funeral scene where M’Lynn grieves loudly and at times, riotously. For me, though, the maternal love and strength of M’Lynn is shown in her reading to her comatose daughter at the hospital, in her crying and waving to her daughter as she leaves home for good, in her compassionate arms swung open wide as she picks up her precious grandson after Shelby dies. She’s one of the best movie moms ever.

C ome to think of it, a lot of these examples showcase what a strong marriage can look like, which has a definite effect on the children involved. What about you? What portrayals of movie motherhood have stood out to you? Share it in the comments section. And by the way, I love The Family Stone. I think Sybil Stone is a great mom (I love how she has a definite, adoring relationship with each of her grown children).

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I asked this question when we were pregnant with our first baby. We had some friends that had done it and our birth teacher had a former student who sold them and came to one of our classes to give a demonstration on how they worked. The picture is of our second son, Isaac in a Fuzzy Bunz pocket diaper.She showed us several different kinds of diapers and we learned that we could save hundreds to thousands of dollars by using cloth diapers. We still had questions that I think most people have like:

How do you wash them? Is it hard?

How do you get the poop out?

Is it gross? Is it inconvenient?

What about when you go out?

Why should we?

How do I get started?

Once we learned the answers to our questions we thought it was a good idea and we wanted to try it. I’ll share with you some of the answers we came up with and add some things I have learned since I started cloth diapering.

There is a lot of information out there about cloth diapering and once learn some of the terminology and get the basics down it should be smooth sailing.

Did you know…?

Disposable diapers have traces of Dioxin in them. Dioxin comes from the bleaching process and is a known cancer linked chemical. It is also banned in several other countries but not here in the U.S.

Disposable diapers also contain another toxic chemical called TBT that can cause hormonal problems in humans.

It can cost approximately $1,600 to diaper one baby in disposables but you could cloth diaper ALL your babies for less than half of that?

Did you know (from a Green perspective):

That 92% of all disposable diapers end up in a landfill?

That disposable diapers are estimated to take 200-500 years to decompose and are the third largest consumer item in landfills?

300 pounds of wood, 50 pounds of petroleum byproducts and 20 pounds of chlorine are used to diaper one baby each year in disposables?

Disposable diapers are not able to be recycled but cloth diapers can be used 50-200 times before being recycled and used as rags?

Okay, okay enough with the facts. I got those from a non-profit group called The Real Diaper Association committed to teaching parents about all the benefits of cloth diapering.

To answer some of the questions I asked earlier….

How do you wash them? Is it hard?

Everyone seems to have their own way of washing the diapers but there are some basics. Some people soak their diapers in the washer overnight but others will just run a pre-wash. I wash my diapers in a cold/cold cycle with no detergent first. This serves as my “pre-wash”. Then I add All Free and Clear to the diapers and change the water temp to hot/cold and wash them on the heavy duty 14 minute cycle. I take out my diaper covers and put all the pre-folds in the dryer and set them to dry. It takes a little practice to figure out when to wash before you run out of diapers to use on the baby.

I have noticed that the cloth diaper pail actually smell better than a disposable diaper pail. It still has an odor, don’t get me wrong, but it is not quite as putrid–in my opinion. The chemicals in the disposable diapers mix with the urine and poop to create a rather unpleasant odor.

Is is gross and inconvenient? What about when you go out?

It isn’t any more gross than disposable diapers. Poop is poop. I will admit that it is perhaps a little grosser when your baby is older and having some ooey-gooey poops but the great thing is that the washing machine will clean what you can’t dump into the toilet. When we are out and about I use a little plastic grocery sack or a vinyl bag to carry around used cloth diapers. I just have to dump it into the diaper pail when I get home. It doesn’t feel burdensome to do that.

When we travel I use disposable diapers. It is inconvenient to use them while traveling because they take up a lot of packing room and you have to have a washing machine to wash them. That is not always possible when traveling.

Why should I?

Cloth diapering is environmentally friendly and also economic. A friend of mine from Tanzania told me that the United States is sending some of our waste to landfills in Africa! Our landfills are so full of disposable diapers and if more people started cloth diapering then maybe we wouldn’t have to send our trash to another continent. It is one way to make our biological footprint a little smaller.

You get the most economic savings if you have more than one child because you can reuse cloth diapers on every kid. Depending on what kind of cloth diapers you buy you can still get quite a savings on one child. There is a small learning curve to get started but it is easy to learn and the benefits are great! Instead of spending $40-50 a month on diapers over a 2-3 year period you can save that money and spend it on other things!

How do I get started?

There are so many different kinds of cloth diapers available online that it is a little overwhelming to know what kind to get. Here is a breakdown of the different kinds of diapers:

Chinese Pre-Folds-Rectangular diapers that absorb pee and poop. These are the least expensive cloth diapers you can buy. You can get cotton or hemp diapers. You can splurge for organic ones if you want.

Diaper Covers-There are several kinds of diaper covers out there. You need them to put on top of pre-folds or other fitted diapers that don’t come with a cover. My favorite is the Super-Whisper Wrap by Bummis.

Pocket Diapers-You insert a pre-fold or other absorbent material inside of the diaper. These are usually waterproof and a little more expensive than a pre-fold and a cover.

All-in-Ones-Diapers that come with the absorbent material plus the cover sewn into one diaper. These are also more expensive but work more like disposable diapers. They are great for grandparents and babysitters to use.

Doublers-Extra inserts for pre-folds and pocket diapers for extra absorbency

Decide on a budget of how much you want to spend. A lot of cloth diapers come in fun colors and patterns but they cost more. If you know you would spend approximately $1500 over the course of 2 to 3 years on one child you could set that as your budget amount and purchase diapers accordingly. The links above are from a website that I have bought diapers from before but there are tons of different sites to choose from. Some websites provide beginner packages for a discounted price. Ask around and see if you have any friends or acquaintances that cloth diaper and ask about their experiences. Cloth diapering can be fun and some moms have even made their own diapers.

I find that I love the economic savings and I really don’t mind the extra laundry load every couple of days. If you have any questions about it please let me know!