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Keeping Sane When Both You AND Your Husband Are Home Long-Term

by Christy on September 30, 2009
category: Finances,Husbands and Dads,Practical Tips,Uncategorized

couple laughing About three months ago, the negative effects of the recession hit our home when my husband got laid-off.  After the initial shock and fears of wondering how we were going to survive, we settled into a new reality.  I was terribly worried that my husband and I were going to drive each other crazy being around each other 24/7 with no breaks.  Surprisingly, this time has strengthened our relationship and our individual faiths. 

I thought I would share a few of the things we have done to stay sane:

Take turns sleeping in!  While I have taken my share (plus a few extra) of mornings sleeping in, I also try to let him get some days “off” from the early morning (and I mean VERY early) kid duties.

Get out of the house at least every other day!  Staying at home gets boring and boredom brings on depression and aggitation.  Getting out of the house frequently helps stave off some of the crankies.  We have made many trips to Target, Toys R Us, and other local stores just to browse to get everyone out of the house.

Play games together!   While it’s next to impossible to play actual board games with kids in the house, we have taken to playing online Scrabble and other games against each other.  The advantages of these online games are that you can take your time playing, come back to it and play when you want/can, and you don’t have to worry about game pieces being shoved into little noses!

Wives, don’t nag!  At first I didn’t realize that to my husband, my asking questions about his job search as often as I did was nagging.  It’s ok to inquire about phone calls or progress, just not on a daily basis.  And by all means, DO NOT look for a job for him unless he asks you to or has given you “permission”.  Many guys feel emasuclated when their wives do their “work” for them. 

Pray together!  We  pray together over potential jobs, our finances and our children.  Like Dawn has been saying in the past two Abiding Mondays posts, prayer calms anxiety.  When I get anxious, it helps me to pray with my husband.  I find comfort in knowing he is standing with me during the troubling times.

And lastly, just remember that it won’t last forever.  The right job will come along.  Your life will get back to the normal you have always known!

Have you or someone you know closely gone through this type of situation?  What did you do to stay sane?  What tips do you have for families in this transitional time?

Photo Courtesy of Moomettesgram

7 Responses to Keeping Sane When Both You AND Your Husband Are Home Long-Term

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Amy
    September 30, 2009 @ 7:40 am

    Wow! Just the right topic for me today. My husband is a consultant, and with the recession business is slow. Very slow. He has “worked from home” all summer and there is no end in sight. Like you, we have become closer but it’s taken every ounce of my A-type personality to get used to having him around. More mess. More food/shopping. More noise. On the plus side I can get more things done during the day while my son is napping! I can’t complain. But I long for a normal routine again!!

  • Comment by Christy
    September 30, 2009 @ 8:07 am

    Yeah, I’m very Type A (as I’m sure you have gathered from my other posts)and my hubby is not at all. I usually keep my house very clean and tidy all day (even with the kids toys) and it has not been that way for months now. (Granted, my not feeling well hasn’t helped that!) My hubby doesn’t seem to mind the mess and it drives me crazy. I finally had to give up a little control just to stay sane! I hope business gets better for you husband soon!!! Hugs!

  • Gravatar September 30, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

    My husband and I had to deal with this same situation a year and a half ago. The hardest part was that we’ve always shared a large computer desk with two computers on it. Fine for day to day use, but with him home all the time it just about drove me nuts.

  • Comment by Amanda
    September 30, 2009 @ 6:56 pm

    @Stephanie – That is funny! My husband got me a cheap Mac iBook laptop on Craigslist, so I wasn’t constantly in the office with him with our kiddos in tow.

    @Christy – My husband works from home and we have had to set some boundaries, but I feel really spoiled. I can run out during nap time if I need to and sometimes I get him just to help me get the kids in the car. For the most part we are both extraverts and love being together. These are some great tips, Christy!

  • Comment by Christy
    September 30, 2009 @ 7:05 pm

    I think the hardest thing is that my husband is without a job. There is that added stress to the situation. It changes the dynamic some. It has been an absolute blessing and I have loved having him home with us, it’s just been a real adjustment! :-)

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Barbra Otten
    October 1, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

    It’s been awhile since I had to deal with this but one thing my husband and I did was go to the mall (yes, like the old people do, lol) every morning once the kids went off to school and walk. It was too cold to do it outside but it really turned into something that helped us connect each day.

  • Gravatar October 8, 2009 @ 6:02 am

    [...] Christy’s post last week got me thinking about our family dynamic.  My husband works close to home (and even from home, occasionally), but he also does a LOT of traveling for his PhD studies.  He’ll be gone for anywhere from ten days to twelve weeks at a time.  The traveling can be difficult for him, with frequent travels through international airports (and their security), sleeping on couches at friends’ houses, and eating out every day (which he hates doing).  I’ve also witnessed how it has affected our children. [...]

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