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My Experience As A (Temporary) Single Parent: Guest Post from Trina

by Dawn on March 6, 2009
category: Guest Posts,Husbands and Dads,Inspiration

trina-1.jpg  March is a big month for your contributors at The Mom Crowd: Amanda, our founder, just had her second child, and McKenna is going to Eastern Europe for the first time to meet her new daughter (for the first time!)  When Amanda asked for guest posters to step in and share their wisdom, the response was phenomenal.  Keep coming back to The Mom Crowd every day for fabulous information, tips, stories, and inspiration!

Trina is a busy married (but single!) parent:  she takes care of her two year old and her beagle Gidgett, and gives support to her now-overseas husband.  After all that, she still has time to read her favorite blog, The Mom Crowd.

Once upon a time, I got married, had a rough-but-good pregnancy, experienced beautiful labor and welcomed a little girl into the world with my husband of 2 years.  We had plans of watching her grow together.  My husband could not wait to hold his little girl.  Fast forward 16 months:  I am a single mom.  No, I did not get divorced.  My husband in the United States Air Force and is currently deployed for a year in the war.  Gone are the days of “Honey, can you please change the baby?” and “I need a free day – can you watch her?”

When my husband left for the war in August, our daughter had just turned 18 months old.  At the time, I had no idea how much work it actually was being a Single Parent.  There are many nights where I crawl into bed un-showered and in the same clothes from the day before. To say the least, it’s been an interesting adventure for my daughter and me. 

My favorite single parent moment (when it finally hit me I was all alone) was when my daughter was very sick with a stomach flu.  She has tendency to always throw up on me.   This time, she spewed all over me, herself, the dog and anything else in her way.  After picking the vomit out of my eyes so I could see, I headed to the shower, still dressed, with baby in arms.  We stood under the running water until no trace of the sickness remained.  

Remembering all of my many single mom stories makes me laugh now.  I also feel blessed to have this special time with my daughter.  This might sounds selfish, but I will never have this alone time with her again.  It has made our relationship stronger.  My single-mom days have also made me a better mother for my daughter and for any other child we have in the future.

It has now been 6 ½ months since my husband was deployed, and life is going trina-2.jpg well. The holidays have passed, and Daddy will soon be home for his R&R.  He gets to be home for 14 days and then back to war for another 7 months.  Though we can’t wait to see him, my biggest concern will be fitting him back into our life and routine.  My daughter and I have a schedule and do our own thing.  It has been a long time since I have had to take into consideration what my other half might have planned!  Since this is such a short trip, I am considering letting the schedule go (a little) and just go with the flow.  I am also aware that Daddy does not understand how much work at 2 year old is! 

Through this experience, I have developed a new respect for all single parents. No matter what your situation is, you deserve an award for all you do for your children.  Hang in there!

Are you a single parent?  What kinds of challenges do you face?  What strategies have you found to help you get through your days?  How do you strive to keep a positive outlook?

7 Responses to My Experience As A (Temporary) Single Parent: Guest Post from Trina

  • Gravatar
    Comment by harriet
    March 6, 2009 @ 9:39 am

    Hi!
    Just stopping by to say “HELLO!”.
    Have a great day and TGIF!

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Amy
    March 6, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

    I think all of you women are so strong, whether being a single mom temporarily or permanently.

    My husband leaves us every October for two weeks for a conference, and I barely make it through. I can’t tell you how many times I wasn’t able to make us decent meals for dinner or go to bed in my clothes I wore that day. It’s exhausting.

    Hang in there. God bless.

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Barb
    March 6, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

    Go Trina! Great post :) I knew you’d be a super guest contributor to TMC.

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Trina
    March 6, 2009 @ 2:34 pm

    Hi Everyone..Update!

    The hubby has been home for 3 days and my daughter does not really “know” who is he just yet but we are enjoying our family time until he goes back again on the 19th. Thank you for all of your support!

    @Amy…Being a Single Parent at any time is very hard no matter the amount of days. It is a lot of work taking care of your family by yourself.

    @ Barb…Thanks Barb your the best! :)

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Heidi
    March 6, 2009 @ 3:36 pm

    My husband is in the military also, so I know what you are currently going through. My husband left for a 11-month deployment when my son was 10 months old (2005). The closest family member was 5 hours away. It was tough being a single parent, but what got me through it was the amazing support system I had with other military spouses, my neighbors, and friends from church.

    It’s wonderful to hear your positive outlook on this Trina. God bless you and your family.

  • Gravatar
    Comment by Trina
    March 6, 2009 @ 8:36 pm

    @ Heidi- We have an awesome church family and Military family. It has been my saving grace many times. I went to visit my family (21 hour drive with my daughter and my dog) for the holidays but honestly life is easier in our home for my daughter. Keeping schedule and having comtrol over what my daughter eats/when she sleeps/watches on TV/ext….was hard when family tends to want to over ride your parenting. So even tho it was a nice break, I am happy to be home.

  • Comment by Sharon M
    March 8, 2009 @ 11:23 pm

    My hubby left for three months for a semester of study in the UK last year, and it was hard. Even with a great support system (I ended up back in the States w/ my parents and in-laws for two of those months), I still felt so lonely. I know you are enjoying this time together as a family again! God bless.

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