The Mom Crowd

It’s still not too late to email us your pumpkin patch photos! We will be posting our collection of pumpkins and munchkins tomorrow. Email your photos to pictures [at] themomcrowd.com.

There has been a lot of talk in the news recently about a new online video glossary produced by Autism Speaks and First Signs. The video glossary contains over a hundred videos to help concerned parents learn more about the early warning signs of autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Autism is not diagnosed until a child is 3 or 4 years of age. If ASD can be detected sooner than 3 or 4 years of age, then treatment can begin sooner and the child will do better on the spectrum of autism.

According to the Autism Speaks website:

“The goal of the project is to help parents of children suspected of or recently diagnosed with autism better understand some of the words and terms they might hear used in association with ASD. Video clips are used to show examples of such terms as social reciprocity, joint attention, sensory defensiveness, hand flapping, and echolalia. In many cases, side-by-side video clips show behaviors that are typical in contrast with those that are red flags for ASD. “

The video glossary is a great tool for parents who are concerned about autism or if their child has recently been diagnosed. The videos explain a lot of the terms commonly used. I am afraid I would watch it and become paranoid, because a lot of the differences are very subtle. However, if I know some of the major red flags, then I would be in a better position to help an early detection.

My big complaint about the website is that the video glossary does not support Firefox and Safari web browsers. So Mac users like myself, may not actually get to view the videos. I think I can upgrade my Quicktime player, but it seemed like a hassle. Users viewing the videos in Internet Explorer should not have any problems.

Check out the online video glossary.

The new website in the news:

Video from The Early Show on CBS.com
ABC News Nightline Article
Video interview with creator Amy Wetherby on CBS.com
Article from The Associated Press

A reader asks The Mom Crowd:

“Mark and I are talking seriously about trying for our first baby and the thought of it is so overwhelming. I would love to know what other moms have been through, great resources to check out, etc. Another thing we are dealing with is different opinions on some parenting questions. I know every marriage is different, but it would be great to hear how other couples deal with differing opinions.”

My husband and I did not agree on the timing of our first child. He wanted to wait longer and I was thinking, “I’m not getting any younger.” Timing was the one thing we did not agree on. I remember praying that we would get on the same page and I just waited. About year and a half after we got married, we were at a fancy birthday/Valentines Day dinner we were talking about when to have kids. We miraculously agreed on a year and a half from that date.

Fast forward a year and a half and we still weren’t sure if we were ready. We had some concerns about not being out of debt by the time the baby came so I could quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom. There was also the larger question of “are we ready for this?” Circumstances arose that helped calm our fears. While talking with his friend who had just become a father my husband realized, “He did it and he’s still alive.” Also, our best friends were about to try to start a family. So we took the leap and started trying. Honestly, that part was super fun. Two months later we were pregnant. I was vomiting all the time and the fun stopped, but we were excited about being parents. We weren’t going to be completely out of debt by the time the baby came, but we trusted God that He would work everything out and He has!

We didn’t know how to address parenting questions until we were actually parents. We talked about parenting in our pre-marriage counseling, but had no clue about the feelings and emotions involved in these types of decisions. Each day together we are still learning how to parent Ace. The pre-marriage curriculum that we went through was called Marriage Savers. The couple that counseled us is still around and has three amazing grown children. We know that we can call them anytime we have questions about parenting. We often ask other parents what worked for them.

The decision for me to stay home came naturally for us, but I know it does not for other couples. Each couple has different opinions about staying home or working based on what their parents did. One spouse’s mom may have worked and took care of the kids, so they set that expectation on their spouse. I believe some moms are meant to work and it does not take away from their role as a mother. Ultimately, it is about trusting what God wants for your family. If God called me to go back to work I would be there and I would trust that He would work everything out. We were able to have an open dialogue about the decision and eventually came to a mutual agreement.

We did have some financial concerns, but we got lots of advice to not let finances control our decision about when to start a family. I am glad I listened to that advice. I wouldn’t trade our decision to start a family for anything.

How would you answer the reader’s questions? How did you decide to start your family? Did you and your spouse disagree on any parenting issues and how did you resolve them? Do you have any resource recommendations?

Additional Resources:

Marriage Builders on How to Resolve Conflicts
Stay at Home Calculator on Parents.com
Articles relating to staying home on Babycenter.com
Chapter 6 of Financial Peace Revisted by Dave Ramsey. This chapter talks about the finances of a second income.

Every parent will get sound tips and advice about their child’s speech and language development from Mommy Speech Therapy. I found this blog devoted to children’s language development a couple of months ago while searching for some fresh tips for my daughter’s speech delay.

Heidi, author of Mommy Speech Therapy, is a work-at-home mother of two. Through her experience as a mommy and a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, she has gained a wealth of knowledge about children’s speech and language development. She is so down to earth and her articles offer very practical advice. Heidi is very interactive with her readers’ comments and has a great question and answer section where she will answer any question you have about your child’s speech! Mommy Speech Therapy also offers free word cards available to download and print which can help with some specific sounds your child may be having a hard time pronouncing. I love how researched, organized, and easy to read her articles are! I give Mommy Speech Therapy two thumbs up!

Some of the helpful articles at Mommy Speech Therapy include:

• Treatment for Childhood Stuttering
• Reading With Your Toddler
• Many articles related to improving specific sounds (ie: r sound, th sound, k sound, etc…)
• Pacifiers and Sippy Cups and Speech Delay
• and many more!

I strongly encourage you to check out Mommy Speech Therapy! Be sure to let her know that The Mom Crowd sent you!

Regardless of your own theories about sleep and children, every parent can learn something from Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’ (HSHHC). You don’t have to agree with the author on every point to learn something about healthy sleep habits for your child. This book is great resource book to read and keep on your shelf.

As the title suggests the book is about creating healthy sleep habits, so your child can be a happy child. I know I am that I am a much happier person when I get all the sleep I need. It makes sense. The book goes on to explain how to put your child to bed without crying, how much they should be sleeping, their quality of sleep, and what time they should go to bed. All things a new parent wants to know.

I learned how my child could get to an overtired state, if I don’t put her down right when she gets sleepy. It is when she reaches this overtired state that it becomes difficult for her to fall asleep on her own and she usually cries. I love it when I can find that magical moment and put my daughter down for her nap with absolutely no crying.

The author describes the cues that your child is moving into the sleep zone: becoming drowsy, decreased activity, slower motions, less vocal, sucking is weaker or slower, quieter, calmer, appears disinterested in surroundings, eyes are less focused, eyelids drooping, yawning.

The fatigue signs that your baby is entering the overtired zone: becoming overtired, fussing, rubbing eyes, irritable, and cranky (p.63).

The book also explains how many naps your child should be having and at what age. I honestly didn’t know that my daughter should have three regular naps a day. It seems like three naps a day is common knowledge among moms, but I didn’t know that. Also, the author suggests being diligent about protecting those nap times. He really encourages parents to respect their child’s sleep schedule, no matter what. There can be exceptions, but they should not be the rule.

One of the biggest lessons I learned from the book is to put my baby down to bed earlier. I tried it and it worked! The book explains that sleep begets sleep. The earlier you put your child to bed, the later they sleep. It dispels the myth that you should put them to bed later, so they will sleep in. It is hard, because my husband does not get to see much of our daughter in the evenings, but we know it is for her good. Our baby getting good sleep is just as important as her getting enough food.

The author suggests that bedtimes should be consistent and have a routine. We now have a routine with our daughter. She knows that after she gets her kisses, she is going to be laid down in her crib. I like the author’s theory that my baby cries, because she wants to play with me rather than being in a boring, dark room. It makes me feel good that my child wants to be with me.

Readers may not agree with Dr. Weissbluth Pro-Cry It Out stance. He gives parents two options to crying it out, one is gradual and one is cold turkey. The method is to correct any unhealthy sleep habits and to help establish routines. The cold turkey method could be really hard to, but supposedly has the fastest results. I am not sure if I could let my daughter cry and wail for an hour. I think you just have to know what you and your child can handle.

(more…)