The Mom Crowd

While Christmas is by far the most important holiday in December, there are a few other fun days you can observe with your kids during the month.  Participating in these days and observances can add a few extra ideas for crafts and learning projects.

Read a New Book Month – So this one is pretty self-explanatory.  Pick up a new book and read it with your kids.  If they are old enough for a novel, choose a classic, like Charlotte’s Web.  Or better yet, find a great Christmas book to share with your kiddos.

National Cookie Day (December 4th) – What a great way to have fun… bake and eat!  Even the littlest member of your family can help decorate cookies and you can teach the older kids about measurements by letting them measure out sugar and flour. 

Saint Nicholas Day (December 6th) – Saint Nicholas Day is a fun way to talk to your kids about the generosity of others and to teach them about how Santa Claus came to be.  Have fun reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas  (or originally written as A Visit From St. Nicholas) with your family to give them an even more fun idea of Santa. 

National Poinsettia Day (December 12th) - A fun way to teach your children about this particular species of plants is to visit a nursery where they can see the different colors that poinsettias come in.  They can come in orange, pink, pale green, white and cream as well as the traditional red.  Create craft projects to decorate your house for Christmas or buy some real plants.  Just remember, if you do use the real kind, keep them away from your pets and children’s reach, as they can be poisonous.

Wright Brothers Day (December 17th) – Teach your children about the history of aviation by telling them of the adventures of the Wright brothers.  Visit the official Wright Brothers museum site for more information.  Craft ideas can include making paper airplanes, putting together a model plane or just coloring or painting them. 

First Day of Winter (December 21st) – Don’t forget to explore all the wonders of winter on the first official day of the season. 

Visit the Zoo Day (December 27th) – If you live in the south, take advantage of the nice cooler weather to visit your local zoo.  December 27th falls on a Sunday this year, so most likely your family could all go together as a big family outing, grandparents included!

While I absolutely LOVE Christmas, there are definitely times when I feel like my kids can get “Christmas’d out” and that it’s a good idea to mix things up a little!  Have fun, explore the history behind some of these days and take the time to enjoy the month!

Do you celebrate or observe any of the above days?  How do you do it?  Do you have other specific days that you remember and honor? 

Photo Courtesy of redstamp.com

The folks at Baby Einstein are exchanging or returning Baby Einstein DVDs, because their marketing used false claims that they will make your baby smarter.

You can mail in your DVD in exchange for a book, CD, or discount on a Little Einstein product at a Disney Store. OR you can get a refund of $15.99 for each DVD.

Here is a link for all the information about the Baby Einstein DVD exchange or refund.

What do you think of the Baby Einstein DVDs?

I don’t think I ever believed that they would make my baby smarter, because the DVDs were just going out of style when my babies were born. At the time I had my kids a lot of parents were already questioning the “smarter” claim. Neither of my children were interested in the videos whenever I played them. I have friends that have played them a lot. The videos are fine for entertaining.

When I was pregnant with my second baby I wondered if I should have a baby shower or even register at a store. A part of me wanted this second baby “off the grid,” because Babies R Us likes to sell your information to marketers. According to “Parenting, Inc.” by Pamela Paul,  baby showers for second children have become more prevalent in recent years, because of big box stores and baby registries.

Some people think that if you already had one baby, then you already have everything you need to for the second one. Another baby shower could give the impression that you are greedy. Baby showers for a second baby or even a third and fourth can be completely appropriate, here is why:

• Every life is worth celebrating! Every baby is significant and birthing them is no easy task! It is important to celebrate the mother, the new baby’s family and baby. A new arrival is always exciting.

• Baby showers can be fun if the new baby is a different gender from his or her siblings. My friend Natalie had a shower for her first baby girl after having one son. It was a lot of fun to go overboard with the pink, bows, and dresses. She was very excited to be having a baby girl. It was quite the celebration!

• Sometimes you do need new baby items. Practically every baby needs diapers. You can shower second time parents with diapers or cards with money to buy cloth diapers.

• Baby showers can be anything you want them to be. There is more freedom to have a non-traditional baby shower with your second baby. You can have a BBQ with the guys attending or a girls night with desserts. I like the girls night out, because you can leave the kids at home with daddy.

• Have a shower and collect gifts for a local shelter. Let guests know that a shower is being held in your honor and gifts will be given to a local shelter. You can collect diapers and baby clothes for a crisis center in your area.

Baby showers are to celebrate the mother and the new baby. I think we all should be celebrated with each baby we have! How you get showered is up to you.

Did you have a baby shower for your second and third children?

-photo courtesy of rshannonsmith

Please welcome my friend and Guest Writer, Sharon, as she fills in for the traveling Amelia in the upcoming weeks. Sharon is an American currently living in the Middle East with her husband and two children.

Most of us have been there.  We arrive at Grandma and/or Grandpa’s house for a week long visit, only to find ourselves in a precarious situation.  Why?  Because your parents (or your spouse’s parents) are standing at the door, greeting your kids with one or more of the following:
a) Large bags of candy
b) Several new toys
c) The latest “cool” techno-gadget
d) A week of planned excursions to expensive theme parks, malls, etc.

The week progresses, and every time you turn around, your child has a new toy or outfit.  On one hand, you think, hey, it’s only for a week, then we get back to our normal lives. And this is true, to an extent.  But what happens when this becomes habitual?  Every time you visit them, or every time they visit you, the kids are lavishly spoiled by their grandparents.  Or what happens when the kids start to demand things from Grandma or Grandpa?  Ugh, no one wants to be in that position.

This has happened to us on a few occasions.  We have the unique position of being parents to the only grandkids on either side of the family (hubby is an only child, I’m the oldest and, until recently, the only married one).  In addition to that, our family lives overseas, so any opportunity the grandparents get to spend with the grandkids is rare and precious, and the presents can be a bit over-the-top at times.  What do we do?  Fear not, ladies!  There are a few ways we, as moms, can handle out-of-control gift-giving.

For starters, we need to accept this fact: in general, grandparents WILL spoil their grandchildren.  There’s really nothing we can do about it.  Now, before anyone thinks I have a defeatist’s attitude toward this particular subject, I want to point out that I think that we CAN influence the AMOUNT of spoiling that occurs and make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.  None of us wants to have kids that are ungrateful (especially to our own parents!), so it’s important that we approach it from two sides:

1. Your kids – Remind them to say “please” and “thank you” when requesting or receiving something from your (or your spouse’s) parents.  It’s really easy to teach kids manners when we are around teachers, friends, and even strangers, but the family arena seems to be the first place where politeness jumps out the window.  Reminding kids about simple manners before they visit their grandparents can work wonders, and help your kids to remember to be thankful.  If your concern is limiting the number of toys in the house, let the child(ren) know that, from now on, for each new toy they get from grandma or grandpa, they have to choose one of their older toys to give away to charity.
2. The grandparents – This is the tough one, because some grandparents will react defensively, especially if approached in a confrontational manner.  Start by thanking them for being so loving toward your children, and that their generosity is really appreciated by you. Then let them know you noticed how they much they like to buy things for your kids, and ask them if they’d be willing to redirect their giving.  It doesn’t take much to “spoil” my kids (as they’re still fairly young), so if my mother, for instance, decided to give my kids a personal DVD player just for fun, I would consider that over-the-line.  One way we avoid this in our household is by suggesting toys/games that our children would like to have, ones that seem a little more reasonable in price or quantity. That way, the kids get toys they want, and grandma and grandpa still get to have their fun.  Ask them to save bigger presents for birthdays or Christmas.  If you want to nip the toy-buying in the bud all together, suggest that your parents or in-laws come over with a little present, like a small candy bar or lollipop (or iTunes gift card for older kids), and they can put money in their savings account or college fund.

In the event where grandpa or grandma is not willing to change his/her behavior, there are a few options.  The first one, limiting visits (especially for grandparents who live in the same town), is something I would call for in an extreme situation, where your concern is your child’s safety.  Grandparents allowing young children to watch rated R movies after they’ve been asked not to, for example, would warrant a reaction like that.  Most of us (hopefully) will not encounter this problem.  Another approach is one I mentioned, having your children give away old toys for each new one that they receive.  Or, get a bag of toys and take it over to grandma’s house the next time you visit.  Let her know that the kids have too many toys at the house, and so you’re bringing some extras to stay at her house.  After a few garbage bags full of toys, grandma and grandpa will get tired of the clutter, and probably get the hint.

So, have you ever encountered this problem?  How did you handle it?  What was your parents’ (or in-laws’) reactions?

Photo courtesy of garden beth

More about our Guest Writer:  Sharon was born in Southern California, spent a bit of time in Hawaii, then moved to Texas for ten years, where she met her husband and had her first child.  She now lives in the Middle East with her hubby and two kids, ages 5 and 2.  Her favorite tea is Earl Grey, and favorite dessert is any cupcake from Sprinkles.  She loves learning new languages (currently working on Arabic), traveling, and cooking.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes life wears me out.  Our family is pretty busy.  My husband works in a church (he’s the Youth Director), so we call church our second home.  We’re there every Sunday and Wednesday for a variety of activities.  Additionally, my kids’ pre-school is a ministry of our church.  When I add it all up, they spend over twenty hours a week on the church campus. 

When we come home from church/pre-school, everyone is pretty tired.  It takes a lot of energy to get everyone dressed, packed up, transported to & fro, and unpacked each day.  These are our regular activities, and our routine serves us well – especially when we all get a decent night’s sleep.

Most of my friends’ families are in the same boat.  Some of them have also begun enrolling their children in extra-curriculars.  A lot of my kids’ friends are joining swim team, taking a dance class, or enrolling in soccer.  I’ve gotta be honest about this and say, “NO!  Not yet!  I am not ready for this!”  The thought of researching programs that my daughter or son would enjoy, paying for it somehow, and shuttling them to even more events would fry what’s left of my brain.  I don’t know how my mom friends do it!

Sometimes I hear moms complain about their kids’ extra-curriculars.  One lady bemoaned to me:  ”I have to take my daughters to a cheering competition in [a city three hours away] for the whole weekend!”  Her girls were 6 and 9 at the time.   On and on she went, telling me about the cost of the uniforms and how they had to stay at this ritzy hotel and how the girls were getting unnecessarily catty with each other at that young age.

I wanted to ask, “Why are you doing it, then?” 

My husband and I have discussed the topic of extra-curriculars for our kids quite often, considering what is necessary, what isn’t, how much is too much, how much is not enough, etc.  We are excited to see our kids grow in different areas – will they be inclined to take up an instrument or join a sports team?  It’s exciting!  We do not want to prevent them from exploring what the world has to offer.  At the same time, we want to guard ourselves from overscheduling our already-busy family, and adding unnecessary stress to our lives.  We also have to watch our budget.  Uniforms, dues, and gas can get costly.

Since school is starting/has started for most of us, here are my suggestions for making healthy choices regarding extra-curriculars for your children:

• Discuss the issue in advance.  If not communicated, this is one of those subjects that could cause arguments with your spouse.  One parent might want their child to explore as many activities as possible, and the other might want to go into extra-curriculars slowly.  It’s good to hammer it out sooner than later, so compromises can be made.
• Know your priorities.  While conversing about it, make a list of what the family’s goals are with its time.  For example, our family prioritizes church events over most others.  If an event comes our way and it conflicts with a church commitment, we are likely to say no.  We also want to make sure our family has enough down time each week, and ample together-time. 
• Have a plan and set some limits.  In your discussion, it would be good to formulate a standard to work with.  Are you willing to enroll your child in 1 or 2 classes a week?  How much money can you set aside for each activity?  Knowing your parameters will be helpful when the kids start asking to do things.  You can tell them in advance, “Hey, your dad and I discussed it, and we feel it is okay for you to join one team this year.  What sport would you like to do the most?”  Or, you can have your answer ready when they ask to do something else: “Honey, it’s great that you want to take Underwater Basket-Weaving with your friend.  However, we have already committed to your piano lessons, which you chose to do first.  Let’s wait till next year to try something new!”  This is healthy decision-making that teaches kids responsibility – even if it elicits a few tantrums grumbles.
• Be flexible.  Alright, so you’ve paid for Jimmy’s football activities and he looks adorable in his uniform.  One problem:  he hates it.  This is where changing our minds is helpful.  We want our children to be challenged, to work hard for their successes – but we don’t want to damage their ever-changing psyches.  This is where communication with your spouse, your child, their coaches & teachers will come in handy.  Nothing ever has to be set in stone.  Life does require a lot of do-overs!

I am curious what my kids will want to do with extra-curriculars in the (near!)  future.  It will add some stress, but a lot of joy, too!

What are your kids currently doing for extra-curriculars?  Do you have limits in this area?  What has worked for you, and what has been a struggle?  Do share, and have a great weekend, Mom Crowd!

first picture courtesy lambchops

second picture is me, in the 7th grade