The Mom Crowd

I recently hired two regular sitters for my kids when the fall semester starts up. We’ve always relied on family members to babysit for us, so this will be the first time we are trusting our children in the hands of non-family. This will also be the first time that I am regularly away from my children. Due to this upcoming change, I put together a handbook for our babysitters. When I was a babysitter, I would have LOVED it if my families left me with a handbook like this! I babysat for many years as a teenager and it was very hard to remember all of the last minute instructions parents left me as they were kissing their children goodbye. I can’t expect that a babysitter is going to remember when bedtime is, what to feed them for dinner, whether they need to bathe Susie first or give her a bottle first, etc…

I opened up my word processor and got to typing! For those of you who are crafty, I could totally see the handbook being done in a cute scrapbook style!  Mine is in a cheap, navy blue folder with prongs.  Some of this may be excessive, however I would rather be over-prepared than under-prepared.

So, what’s in my handbook?

Contact information

• Our full names
• Our home address and phone number
• Our cell phone numbers and my husband’s work phone number
• Emergency contact (Grandma) home/cell/work numbers

Rules

• I listed my children’s basic no-no’s (climbing on table, hitting each other, etc…)
• I gave basic household rules (no shoes on in our house, our policy on television, etc…)
• I gave the babysitter basic rules as well (keep stair gate and bathroom doors shut at all times, no smoking, guidelines on having visitors over, etc…)

Special instructions

• Potty/Diaper instructions-I listed where diapering materials are kept and instructions on what to do with dirty diapers. I also gave instructions on where the kids are at in potty training and instructions on when to let them sit on the potty.
• Outdoor instructions-I gave instructions on outdoor play. I asked that the sitter check for fire ants and check with me before hand if they wanted to play in the pool. I mentioned where the wagon is kept and other quick notes about outdoor play.
• Mealtime instructions-I noted where mealtime accessories are kept and a few notes about mealtime with my children.
• Bedtime instructions-I mentioned their nap schedule and bedtime routine. I most importantly noted that Darah must have her lovey for bedtime to be successful!
• Discipline instructions-I explained our discipline strategy with our children, located time-out and the buzzer for them, and explained which offenses deserved a time-out. I also explained redirection when time-out was over and what I expected from each child after time out (apology, hug, etc…)

List of foods

• I basically just listed the foods my children will eat so they don’t have to guess what to feed them if they need a meal or a snack.

Medical information

• I gave a complete list of all of our medical providers and specialists, including their addresses and phone numbers. This has been a handy list for myself!
• I typed up each child’s full name and their birthday and indicated if they have allergies and typed up the medications they are on. I also typed up their health issues, including a list of all surgeries and medical procedures and dates.
• Health insurance information, including copies of our insurance cards.
• Darah and Connor both carry a special card indicating their need for an antibiotic in case of an emergency due to their heart defects. I copied these for our babysitters.

More resources for creating a babysitter handbook:

Children’s Safety Zone Guide for Babysitters

Checklist for Preparing a New Babysitter

A Babysitter’s Guide to Babysitting for a child with diabetes

Printable Babysitter Checklist

What else would be beneficial in a babysitter handbook?

I recently watched a documentary called Raising Cain which is about some of the unique needs and issues that boys face today. It has some good insights in it-especially in understanding why boys seem to have more trouble in school than girls do. The documentary looks into the emotional needs of boys and how important the influence of men are in their lives.

My husband and I came up with this list together but he had most of the ideas. He has spent a lot of time thinking about how to raise 3 boys–all who have unique personalities and interests. I realize that some of you may not have a father in your sons’ lives but I hope this list helps you appreciate the men who are involved in your kids lives. Richard Rohr, author of Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation, after studying male initiation rites all over the world, says that all boys need men who are not their father to teach them what it means to be a man. So to all those men who are helping our sons become men–this is for you.

1. Play. When it is time for bath time at our house my two older sons ask every night, “do we have time for wrestling?” Every night. It is probably their favorite time of the day. During the day I let the boys climb on me but it just isn’t the same as rough housing with daddy or wrestling with their daddy. There is something fun for a boy when he gets to test his strength with daddy. Even though the boys know daddy is stronger, it gives them confidence when they can get a good wrestling move in on daddy. Jon uses that time for physical bonding and to teach them that they can get bonked around and have fun at the same time. I always hear squeals of laughter and delight and it makes my heart smile. You have probably noticed that men play much different than us moms do.

2. Modeling. Having different men involved in our sons’ lives models different examples of what it means to be a “man”. Having a variety of male influences in the lives of boys helps them to see that they can still be a man if they don’t like to play sports and prefer to read instead. My 4 year old loves being outside and trying out sports. He loves to run around and be active playing different outside games. My 3 year old will play along if we are doing a sports activity but his MO is books, stories, and imagination. Reading and playing imagination games really get him excited. Right now we just encourage play and trying lots of new things but I wonder if as they grow older my 4 year old will be more of a jock and my 3 year old will be more of an academic or creative person. There is a lot of pressure on young boys that they need to fulfill a certain criteria in order to be a man but they truth is that there is a huge spectrum of diversity in interests and talents. Which leads me to my next point….

3. Affirming emotions. “Boys/Men don’t cry” is probably one of the biggest lies that gets passed on to boys. Continuing to teach that to our boys is harmful but when a boy hears from a man that it is okay to have feelings (like sadness) and that it is okay to cry means much more to him than hearing it from his own mother. Jon has mentioned to me that it is a tough balance to teach boys how to both express those sadness feelings and also not be made fun of by peers. Boys learn how to express anger, sadness, and joy from watching other men. Tell the men in your sons lives to draw out their emotions and to affirm them.

4. Risk Taking. Us moms are the nurturers. We tend to tense up and shout out “Be Careful!” when our kids try something new–like climbing up the ladder for the first time at the playground. Our husbands and other men tend to hang back and tell the kids to go for it. Both are important. Kids definitely need nurturing but it goes against my nature to encourage a lot of risk taking. I appreciate that about my husband. I don’t want my sons to be wimps but I don’t think I would be able to teach them how to take a lot of physical or mental risks on my own.

5. Modeling Attitudes And Behaviors Toward Women. My husband is good about pointing out that they are to be respectful toward mommy. He is proactive in teaching the boys to honor women/girls and that they aren’t the “bad other”. It is a normal development when suddenly boys think girls are “yucky”. They start to realize that Barbie is for girls and girls like pink–and that stuff is “sooo yucky”. Sure, they learn it from social cues around them but when boys see other men treating women with respect they will learn it too. We don’t want our sons to think of women as weak or to patronize them but we do want our sons to be chivalrous and respectable young men.

I know that as my sons grow up it will be important for them to have other positive male influences in their lives. As they grow up I will encourage them to spend time with their grandpas, uncles, godparents, and family friends. We have often talked about having an all boys camping trip with some good friends of ours who have a son too (unfortunately we currently live across the country from them). I think creating opportunities for male bonding and influence will come more often as the boys grow older. Together we can shape these boys into the men we want to see them become.

Do you ever feel like your house is actually a plastic factory because of all the plastic toys, sippie cups, and utensils you have for your kids? I do. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at all the plastic that has invaded every room in my house. Especially when I read things that remind me that every piece of plastic ever invented is still on the earth and hasn’t decomposed. Or that animals are dying because plastic toys, bags and other products end up in the oceans, rivers, lakes, forests and animals eat them. Or when I read about how there are harmful plastics in plastic forks, cups, plates, spoons that my kids use everyday. I know that I don’t want to contribute to further global damage any more than I have to but it is truly impossible to avoid ALL plastics. Even though I aspire to reduce, reuse, recycle everything, I know that I will not be able to do that. My kids see things that interest them and 90% of the time they are made of plastic. I could simply institute a rule where we only buy used toys (nothing wrong with that) or wooden toys. Again, an unlikely solution. If I knew what I know now when I first started having kids, I would have stuck closer to cloth and wooden toys. I have already replaced or discarded several plastic eating items–they are much easier to replace.

I have begun to think more about the toys I get for my kids and to be a little more choosy when purchasing something new. I can’t control what grandparents get for the kids but I have encouraged them to think a little more green when it comes to toy buying.

There are lots of options for non-plastic toys and dinnerware so I thought I’d pass them along in case you have one of those moments where you contemplate throwing away every small piece of plastic that you have stepped on one too many times and need some replacement items. Or maybe you are tired of replacing batteries or hearing that obnoxious toy song for the umteenth time.

A word about wooden toys: one thing that attracts me to wooden toys is that they tend to open the mind for more creation and imaginative play. Instead of having plastic superheroes and movie characters that have already been created for you, wooden toys are more generic so that the imagination can take over. They also are more geared for educational learning. Wooden toys are not only durable but they have a “classic” look to them and are easier to pass on to the next generation.

Even though I could probably open my own store full of plastic toys, (we have a whole plastic bin full of “characters” that the boys play with all the time!) I keep my eye on earth friendly, natural, fun toys too. I don’t mean to communicate that all plastic superheroes, barbies, or Polly Pockets are evil–it is just nice to know that there are other options out there than the mainstream toys we are bombarded with everyday.

Toys:

RosieHippo Toys

Oompa Toys

Melissa and Doug

Water bottles, plates, spoons etc:

Kleen Kanteen

Bamboo Baby Fork and Spoon

The Snack Sack (a portable cloth sack that includes a stainless steel bowl–used instead of a ziplock bag)

Stainless Steel bowls, plates, cups from Lifewithoutplastic.com

More bottles, cups, spoons at thesoftlanding.com

The reading program I was working on with Darah is still in pilot mode and it was getting difficult to progress past the point we had made it to. I loved the program, but needed something that was a little more complete. I began a new reading program with Darah a few weeks ago. I wrote an article reviewing Out of the Box reading a while back. The company has now changed and is called eReadingPro. They are one of our newest advertising sponsors. The only problem I had with Out of the Box was the cost. eReadingPro has modified their program to accommodate tightwads like me people who are wanting to try it out first before making the big investment. Well, I am a total believer and believe that it is worth the big investment!

I purchased the eBook Do-it-yourself Reading Program Book 1. I paid through paypal and the program conveniently arrived in my email inbox before my paypal receipt arrived! Talk about fast! I quickly downloaded my eBook and got to reading. I had the advantage of having attended their Out of the Box conference, so I had a basic understanding of the program and how it works. The eBook came with everything you need to know to get started and 178 days worth of lessons. It included pictures for some of the abstract words being taught and illustrations for books later on. I got to work making my flashcards and started the program a few days later. This program is a sight-word based program and is not a phonics program.

So how does it work?

This program is geared toward the visual learner. Children with Down syndrome, autism, dyslexia, and an “overwhelming percentage of the population” are often visual learners. While many parents of children with special needs have embraced this program, they have a series for typical developing children as well. It does take some time to get it all set up, but once you set up the program you are good to go. I should be completely set for 178 days and then I will purchase Book 2. You can purchase the program with the flashcards preprinted. I saved a little money by writing them out myself. I keep the flashcards in order in a basket on my refrigerator and look at my daily schedule of what flashcards to present that day. I then show Darah the flashcards three times a day. As simplistic as it sounds, it works! By presenting these gigantic flashcards in groups of 5 over a cumulative 10 minutes a day, Darah has learned about 13 sight words! We are currently working on learning single words, but we will soon progress to learning to read sentences. The best part of this program is it has improved her speech! When she sees the flashcard with the word on it, she is articulating so much better than she did before. Her little voice is just way too cute when she says “pancake.” I am seeing results MUCH FASTER than with the other program we were doing. It requires much less energy and time on my part as well, and Darah seems to engage very well to this program.

eReadingPro will soon be releasing reading programs for teens/youth, adults who are learning to read, and for children and youth who are learning English as a second language. The whole word approach to learning to read is a very effective method! We are also working on phonics and individual letters. For phonics, I strongly recommend this DVD and this toy!

Now that summer is here, all three boys are home all day, and the weather is nice I have felt the urge to beat the summer doldrums. I don’t want every day to feel the same, day in and day out. I notice that the kids get a look on their faces when they are bored and are looking for something to do. It is easy for me to get caught up in doing the morning chores around the house while they play and not think proactively about fun activities they can do. So, I had an idea to come up with a list of activities so that we can do at least one fun activity every day. I tend to be a planner but I don’t always practice it. I know that I usually feel less stressed when I do have some activities planned and it’s kind of fun to tell the boys in the morning what our fun “thing” is that day.

I thought I’d share my list and I hope that if we all put our brains together that we can help each other out with fun ideas to keep boredom at arms length over the summer. My kids aren’t very crafty so I tried to think of a variety of activities to do. We also live in a very seasonal climate so I want to take advantage of the sunny, warm weather while it lasts!

1. Every Monday- Pack lunches while baby Graham is taking his morning nap and head to the supercool park after he wakes up. Eat lunch at the park and play until it is time to head home for afternoon naps.

2. Go to the YMCA during family swim time and splash around.

3. Bake something fun together. Bread, cupcakes, cookies….

4. Go to a “pick your own” fruit/vegetable farm.

5. On Friday it is daddy come home early day and we go to Raccoon Creek. (A local state park 20 minutes away with a “beach” swim area)

6. Make homemade play dough.

7. Make homemade popsicles (vanilla yogurt+frozen berries blended and frozen=yummy frozen desserts! you can even add things like ground flax seeds for a healthy nutrition boost).

8. Go for a nature walk and collect different specimens of bugs, samples of leaves, sticks, and rocks.

9. Make a family tree with pictures of family members and hang it on a wall.

10. Go to the science museum.

11. Go to the dinosaur museum.

12. Go to the zoo.

13. Make paper boats.

14. Go to story time at the library.

15. Go to the indoor park at the mall and let the kids run around in the air conditioning.

16. Play date, play date, play date!

17. Hit the (age appropriate) summer reading list for your kids and read together.

18. Plan a treasure hunt.

19. Make a mobile to hang in the kids bedrooms. (We recently made a bug mobile by cutting out pictures of bugs from magazines and then tying them to straws with thread. We had to balance it by sliding the bugs across the straws but the boys love it and it is fun to watch it move from the breeze of the ceiling fan.)

20. Build a fort inside the house and play games inside the fort.

21. Find and empty parking lot and do some fun sidewalk chalk drawing.

22. Go to an indoor bounce house.

So, kick the summer doldrums in the pants and go have some fun!